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my gay best friend and i have had an intimate moment.
i'm a female who is 20 and my two best friends i talk about in this are both 20 and gay.
About six months ago, i was having a HUGE fight with my best friend. The next day I asked my other best friend if I could come and stay the night because i was just emotionally a wreck and he knew the whole entire story. He said yes, so after he got off work at 11 i went down to stay with him. He's gay and has been my best friend for about a year and a half now. my other best friend (the one i was fighting with) is gay also.
anyway, i went to his house which isn't unusual, considering i'd stayed at his house a million times before. he has a little twin size bed and we usually cuddle in it and go to sleep. well, we were laying there and i was facing the wall and he was facing the same way with his arm around me, again, not unusual. being best friends, we're always grabby and joking all the time, usually with other friends. I'd seen his, he'd seen my breasts but not the other region. so we're laying there and then he starts putting his hand in my underwear trying to feel it and saying he wants to touch it...blah blah. i'm laughing and saying no..
and then finally, idk why, but i decided to let him. at first it was just kind of experimentory, but then he started really getting into it. so he ended up "doing things" to me down there for about an hour. it was really intimate with kissing...etc.
we've talked about it and he has told me time and time again that he honestly cannot even answer for himself why it progressed the way it did.
i think maybe there is something about it that he's not saying. there has to be a REASON right?
any advice is GREATLY appreciated.
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He wrote me a letter before we had our "discussion" about it. He said he didn't feel weird or disgusted about anything bt us. He said that he has no sexual interest in women what-so-ever even though he "does have STRONG feelings for me and if ever that sort of thing would ever take place with a woman he would want it to be me because there is a level of comfort, trust, and love that he has not shared and chances are won't share with another female.". I understand us loving eachother, and I mean REALLY loving eachother. I just don't know what to make of it (what happened) sometimes...
When we talked, he said things like, "well obviously, we BOTH enjoyed it.". I know he hates talking about, or I suspect he does and it happened ab 6 months ago...so idk. I just wish I could get a straight answer--no pun intended.
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At his age, he is probably only able to justify admitting that he likes guys by ruling out girls entirely.
He obviously has a desire for girls on some level.
Yeah, theres a reason for it, but only he is going to be able to figure out what that is. Offer to discuss it some more, I'm sure he'd appreciate being able to figure it out.
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You know how straight people, especially females, will experiment will other women. Not because they are gay or bisexual, but just to expirament? Well, it could be just like that. Just because someone is gay doesnt mean that they can only hook up with the same sex or not be curious or expirament. There doesnt necessarily have to be a reason for it.
Or, maybe he subconsciously has some sort of feelings or attraction towards you. Again, he can be gay, but still be attracted to women. Or he can be gay but yet for some reason develop feelings for a woman. Even if its just a little crush. The way I see it, people develop feelings for a person. Not a gender. Gay men can develop feelings for a woman and lesbians can develop feelings for a man. You cannot control your heart.
There could be a number of different reasons as to why this happened. You said that you guys have talked about it, and thats good. So I would just leave it at that. If he has something to say about it, he will say it sooner or later.
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