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humorist-workshop
suppose to be a mature friendship
I have a best friend (we've been best friends for a few years now) we always have our moments and she jsut treats me like crap all the time. I can't take it anymore. She doesn't know how to say sorry. She's been with this boyfriend for about 4 months now & he's 6 years older than her and so of course I want to meet him. She acts like its a crime for me wanting to meet him and says I am just being ridiculous when I told her it made me mad and she said you're ridic.!!! and im like wow that hurts and she goes on making fun of me because my feelings got hurt. That was about 2 weeks ago and we talked (fought) tonight and i asked her if I could just call her so we could talk but she kept saying she's on the phone so I asked how about after? she never replied and it pisses me off. Does she not care about this friendship enough to try like I am? I also went out of town 5 months ago and she made me feel like absolute crap for going to visit another friend and being in another friends wedding that she isn't in. I told her to stop being so rude to me and she said oh well and i said you're acting like a brat and she said so?
she takes too much pride and it kills me.
WHAT DO I DO!
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okay, first of all i dont think you should keep wasting all of your time trying to save your friendship with her. shes sending all the signs that she doesnt care about you, and she wants to make you feel guilty for having other friends? thats not fair at all, you should be able to have other friends.
it seem like shes trying to control you a little bit, like shes your mother and boyfriend or somethin, its a little weird, frankly.
which reminds me of the boyfriend thing. um, maybe hes weird or somethin and she doesnt want you to meet him because she thinks you wont approve. its kinda creepy that hes THAT much older than him
i think you should take some time to realize who your true friends are which it doesnt seem like her. start hanging out with your other friends and maybe she'll get the hint that your not going to wait around for her to change.
hope this helped <3!
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Sorry it took me so long to write back!
But you are just going to need to talk to her. Sit her down and tell her the problems that you have with her. She will either get mad or talk about it. But if she does get mad she will come back to you. She made need pride but she also needs her friends. Hold your ground you guys will either make it or you won't. I think that when you went to see that other friend she got jelaous. She seems to be the kind of person who wants to have all the attenion. With you gone she prolly didn't get that as much. So thats prolly the only thing that happened there. Just remember that next time she tries to make you feel bad. Or better yet just don't answer it she will get over it.
Good Luck!
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Like it or not, people can change. It is a simple fact of life. Sometimes these changes are personal, or sometimes because of other influences in someone's life. This may be what's going on with your friend. Sometimes when we get a boyfriend we become so consumed in that life, we forget the way things were before and tend to neglect our friends--even our best friends. Sometimes people grow apart. Their interests may change, or they may be at different places. Your friend may not want you to meet her boyfriend because she wants to take things slow and really get to know him before introducing him to everyone. For some people, that's a really big. Still, that's not excuse for your friend to treat you like "crap" or "hurt your feelings". I think the best thing for you to do right now, is to call your friend (and even if she doesn't answer) leave a message telling her something along the lines of: Hey, I know you are busy with a lot of things, but I would love to sit and catch up and just hang out. I understand if you don't want to do that right now, but I really think our friendship could use a good old fashion girl talk/night.
Leave it at that. That way your friend will not be so focused on you telling her you are hurt. (That can come later). If she chooses to hang out then give her the oppurtunity to redeem herself. If she doesn't then so what? You are better off. Friends are there to support you and be there for you. In time she may come around and you may see she has changed for the better--or maybe not. That's your call.
In the mean time, just surround yourself with good positive friends, and worry about having fun. The rest will fall in place when it needs to. :)
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okay lets see i had a bestfriend for 15 years, yeah thats a long ass time and in the end she back stabbed me and did me so dirty. and she acted just like your little friend did, while i was bestfriends with her she pick and chose my friends and i jus let her do it and i regret that because for the longest time i neglected this girl sarah who today is still my bestfriend thru all the bullshit i put her thru. listen in the end that girl is NOT going to be there for you, as much as that hurts to realize, its so true. you got to look out for yourslef sometimes in this world becuz everyones shady in their own way. this girl obviously doesnt have respect for you and when you do leave her she WILL want you back and will make you feel like an asshole for leaving, but dont fall for it. your stronger then you think. i mean you can do waht you want, but thats what you should do.
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Try to talk to her about it. If you can't & she refuses to give you answers, then leave it alone.
I personally don't think you should be friends with her. A friendship (like a relationship with a boyfriend or anybody else) is a two-way street. You both need to work at it. It is not fair of her to make you do all the work. However, if she doesn't want to be in the friendship anymore, it is not fair of you to make her give an effort to something she doesn't care for anymore.
Stop being her friend. If she can't try to be a friend or make effort to fix the problems within the friendship, then you should stop trying too. Do not keep trying to make things work if she is dead weight.
If she's going to act like a brat then treat her like one.
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