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running away
before i start, let me begin by saying that i'm 18 years old, it's not like i'm some bratty teenager running away for no reason. but, honestly, i can't live in this house anymore. this is a mess. i'm not planning on running away forever, but these people have to miss me. i feel kind of bad about it, but i'm so mad right now, that i can't get over it. i'm 18 years old, i'm in college, and i don't even drive a car. i'm the only person in my family who doesn't drive a car. my mom drives a bmw and my family owns a lot. in high school, i was the angel of the class. i'm a straight A student, i didn't even go away for college. i've never gotten drunk in my life, never smoked. my best friend is literally my mother. i've never even slept over at anyone's house before. literally, i've been an angel. but, my family had other priorities than paying my insurance. they bought me cars, and then they never let me drive them because they hadn't put insurance on me. there is absolutely no point in that.... what so ever. so yes, i'm a little bit frustrated that my family keeps treating me like a child. right now, i'm on break and i wanted to go the gym to a spinning class at 12:15.... no one can take me. my grandmother is going to the doctor, and my mom and i got into a huge fight this morning and we're not speaking... plus she's at work. my cousin in 16 yrs old and he's the one i have to ask for rides. i'm sorry but this is ridiculous. my mother started the fight with me this morning and it just kept accelerating and accelerating and she left really angry, and i'm really angry. my grandmother won't even let me stay home alone. i know that i'm young, but i think i'm old enough to drive a car, and stay home alone, so that i can work on my term paper. so, yea i'm pissed. i need to find a way to run away for a little while... i can walk from here to the library... and at least i'll feel a little more independent that i can do that by myself. i just need to get out of here for a while... and i don't know how to do it without anyone noticing. i'm about to have a heart attack in here. it's a mess all the time, and no matter how much i clean, it's still a mess. i just can't do this anymore. can someone please help me?? and please don't answer if your answer is not to run away. i'm an adult, and i've already decided for myself. i'm just asking for advice on how to do it.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I hope you don't mind that this is a really long answer. I hope you read it though.
First of all, don't behave childishly if you want your parents to begin to see you as an adult. You may feel like you need to "run away", but to be honest, you're eighteen so it isn't really "running away". Try to calm down, even though you're frustrated, and figure out if you want to continue living with your parents or get out on your own.
Getting out on your own is hard, and it won't happen overnight. If you want to get out on your own, start by talking to your parents about it. You might be surprised, and they might actually be very helpful. If they are not, it doesn't matter because you are 18 and can move out if you are willing to take responsibility for yourself financially.
You need to know how much it is going to cost, and there are many options you can consider to live for less while you are in college. You will need to get a job, but you can make due on part-time work. Many college students do this. It's hard without a car, but you can carpool or take public transportation if it is available in your area. Also, you can get a bike.
Check local listings for apartments in the area. Find out how much they cost, and if you can afford it. You can get an apartment with room mates to save money. Usually the rent and bills of a two bedroom apartment divided by two is less than the rent and bills of a one bedroom apartment all by yourself. As a student, if you work at least 20 hours a week you can apply for government assistance with food (aka "EBT" or "food stamps") You can also apply for income-based housing. You will have to fill out a lot of paperwork to apply, but the rent is very cheap, and they are usually reasonably nice places. Look for "income-based housing" in your area. You can also move into the dormitories at your college (assuming your college offers housing). This is often more expensive than just getting an apartment, though, but dorm life can help you meet a lot of people and make plenty of new friends. Also, you'll be right there at the school, so you don't have to worry about getting a ride if you can't drive. AND you can probably apply for a job on campus. Colleges have student employment that is either under the Federal Work Study program or just a regular job. Then you don't have to worry about transportation to work.
I hope some of these suggestions have been helpful. Just remember that with freedom comes responsibility. With responsibility comes freedom. If you take responsibility for yourself and stop relying on your parents, you will have the freedom to live your life the way you wish. You are an adult now. You are in college. I know getting out on your own is very difficult, but your parents may never treat you like an adult if you do not do it.
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Oi Christ.
Go out, tomorrow, and get a damned job to pay your insurance. Insurance payments are probably going to be anywhere from 70 to 160 a month for you. 10 hours a week at minimum wage will get you that. Pay for your insurance, drive your car, and go do something stupid.
Seriously. You've never, ever acted out. No wonder you're going nuts. Teens need to be a bit disobedient. Everyone has to find their reasons for handling their shit and being an adult, and your parents aren't going to work as a reason forever.
I can't advise you to go get drunk, but I can advise you to go to a party, go hang out with and if necessary make new friends. Dress up and go downtown to a decent club. Go to a park. Take a road trip to another city or another state over a weekend. Go out and DO something.
Getting a job will get you independence. If you have a car to drive, use it and get a job somewhere part time. Pay insurance, and use the rest of the money to get off your ass and have some fun. Saving a bit somewhere wouldn't be a bad idea either.
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"Adults" don't "run away". Children do.
Get a job and move out. You're old enough.
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You're absolutely right that you're an adult & should be able to make decisions for yourself. The important thing to remember, though, is that you're still living under your parent's roof, so they have the right to kick you out at any time.
Have you tried talking to your family about all of this? It may work, but it may not. It's at least worth a try, though. Sit them down & tell them exactly how you feel, without being rude. Show them that you are an adult & should be treated like one. Running away may seem like a good idea, & if you need to get out of the house for a little while it might not be a bad idea, as long as you go somewhere safe & don't ignore your family's calls if they call looking for you, but remember that there may be some punishments that follow if you do.
I still think you should try to sit them down & talk to them about all of this. As for the car insurance, have you tried getting a job to help pay for your own car insurance? That would be a great way to show them that you are an adult & you can handle responsibility.
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