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Outgroing A Best Friend...?
Sorry for the length :(
So.. there's not much to say... There's this girl... (let's call her R) whom I've been best friends with forever...since, like, 3rd grade (and we're in 8th now) and we live right next to each other, and she's almost exactly a year younger than me. I've never thought much of the way she acted or looked or who she hung out with besides me... until now... A lot of people think she's weird and stuff.
Just a minute ago, I was looking at some random people's pictures on Facebook, and I came across this one popular girl's picture with R in the background looking like a totally freak (very very bad picture of her...she had this freak haircut--which she HATED btw--and was wearing a weird tanktop). The worst part was the tag for her was HAHAHAHAAAHAHA. I just stared at that picture for awhile, and then I just closed the entire window.
I really do love my best friend, but I'm beginning to question her a lot. Like the way she's always being so quirky. And not in a good way. Like when she wears the same slip-on Vans everyday with misfitting Aeropostale shirts and bellbottoms with huge tears at the knees. And how she duct-taped her shirt once because it said WTF in tiny letters (I tore it off before anyone could see that...). Or maybe how she stands with her feet wide apart and her braces sticking out of her mouth. Or how she's never been asked out in her whole life. Or how it seems she hangs out with some of the weirdest people.
As I'm writing this, I'm getting this horrible knot in my stomach... I feel like a jerk and a backstabber and a horrible friend. But I just feel like I've sort of...outgrown her. We used to be really weird little kids while we were in elementary... haha... we used to go around asking people for their hair and wearing matching Fairly Odd Parents t-shirts and sit beneath a tree all day and make fairyhouses. But that was... 3 and a half years a go. I'm done with that stuff. But I feel that maybe she's stuck being a little kid?
Look, I know I'm probably not making a ton of sense. But my ultimate question is: what should I do? Should I ditch her? Still be friends with her? Talk it out? I'm so confused. Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
well you shouldnt ditch her because thats like your best friend and you wouldnt want to loode her for somethin stupid youll really regret it but you should talk out what her flaws are and how she could inprove them beacause friends shouldnt keeps secrect from each other(best friends really!) but stay friends with her and dont care what other people think and remember i am always avalible
Good luck tatianna:))
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It kind of seems that your venting. Not that this is bad or anything. I used to feel the same way about my one friend. Is R a good friend? You need to ask yourself these questions. You don't need to spend every second with her, but if your not going to be her friend because of the way she dresses, then thats shallow on your part. Take her shopping and pull out something 'normal'(to your standerds) and say, "This would look so good on you!". All in all, everyone has a little bit of dork in them, even you. If R is a good friend, then who cares what she wears, it should be whats inside that counts, not outside. Also, i'm not trying to be harsh and say your a bad person/friend, i'm just trying to get you to be able to veiw your situation from someone elses shoes.
**Make sure you look at both sides before you actually do something you MIGHT later regret.. For example, telling her you have a problem with the way she dresses.. on one side you could hurt her feelings and she may not want to be your friend, and on the otherside, she can change completly just to fit your standerds..
Okay, i'm being onesided.. pretty much, i don't think you should say anything. I think that there is a reason you became friends with her in the first place, and it'd be offly horrible of you to throw that all away just about materialistic things.
Hope I helped!
-E
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its good that you have concerns about her and that your asking for advice before you do anything. you just need to take into considerations her culture, backgrounds, class status,where she comes from, she may not be weird she may just be different.people are really cruel sometimes just because someone dresses differently or acts alittle different doesnt mean theyr losers and dont deserve friends.sounds like to me you dont want to be her friend because shes not cool enough and could make you look bad infron of everyone else.thats ok to feel like that.you cant help the way you feel and both of you seem like your going in different directions..sounds like shes one of those kinda punk rock ppl that dress differently and your classy.mayb be her friend but just hang out with different people.dont make it a big deal just slowly drift away from her.just make sure thats what you want to do though.
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