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We want to wait, but we can't!
My boyfriend and I are perfect for each other. We didn't kiss for a loooong time and waited. I spent the night at his house last weekend with no intentions of even kissing but we kissed and kissed and kissed and were SO close to having sex. He really wanted to but I kept saying no (even though my body was telling me yes ! lmao!) because I want to wait & for it to be special. Later, he told me we really should wait, too. But bottom line is: we can't. I just know we can't wait. What can we do to in order to not have sex? Even by one little itty bitty touch, we're ready to get it onnnnnnnnn. hahahaha.
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
I was in your situation last month. I was a virgin, boyfriend wasn't but we both agreed that we would wait until we got settled into the relationship and really built a connection before we had sex. I thought it would be about 4 months...boy was I wrong. I lasted a month. And no it wasn't his idea, it was mine. And I have to say the first time we did there was a minute where I thought 'I'm doing this after a month? This goes against everything I've ever told myself.' But it made me realize how comfortable I am with him and how strong our relationship is even after only 2 months (now). And I'm sure I sound crazy saying that we're so close after only two months but I dated my best friend(guy) for longer than that and had known him for over 5 years and when it came down to us having sex I just couldn't do it. Something was holding me back and it just wasn't right. With my current guy there was no little voice in my head telling me to stop, I wasn't even nervous..and I have anxiety problems!
Okay I realize that didn't help you keep your hands off of each other. So a list of non-sexual activities so you can try to keep your pants on.
Movies-comedies, horror..anything but the romance. I don't recommend watching the Notebook and then expect yourself to not want to have sex.
Take a hike-I did this yesterday. It was cold and I kept getting stabbed with twigs..it was such a turn off sexually but I still enjoyed it because I was with him.
Go out to eat-can't be touchy feely in a resteraunt.
Go shopping!-Underwear shopping doesn't really help your situation so I'd stay clear of Victoria's Secret.
I know it's hard to wait. Its really really hard and it takes a lot of will power but you can do it. As far as the special thing goes..if you've got a good guy (like mine) he'll make every time you do it special. We've had sex 8 times and every time was as special as the first. Minus the pain. (which isn't that bad if you're relaxed)
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Nothing like life advice from a 13 year old.
The sex drive isn't going to go away. The easiest way to deal with it is to find other things to occupy your mind. When you both get horny, agree to go do something else, occupy yourselves so you have other things to concentrate on.
A few words.
Sex isn't special because its the first time, its special because of who you're with.
And you don't wait because you want it to be more special.
Do you know why parents want their kids to wait? Sex complicates everything.
Adult relationships are hard. They require work, effort, and an eye on the eventual goal of having a mature, working relationship where you aren't at each other's throats. It takes alot of fighting, alot of learning to put up with someone, and alot of compromise to reach that.
Sex adds one more thing to fight about, one more thing to resent the other person over, one more thing that can tear a relationship apart.
Let me give you an example.
One of the most common problems is once sex becomes somewhat normal in the relationship, people settle in to a groove of sexual desire. High sex drives might want sex once a day, low sex drives might only want it every week or two.
When one person wants the other person more than they feel they are wanted, it causes issues. It can feel like rejection, and is hard for both parties to overcome, because BOTH people have to compromise.
Sex is just one aspect of a relationship, and this is just ONE problem that sex can bring up. Given enough problems, enough fighting, and too little compromise a relationship can and will fail. Thats why its good to wait. You want to know each other, know how you will react and what it means, and know that you can handle problems that crop up like a pair of adults.
One question, do you two talk about sex? Is it hints and vague comments or have you had a one on one dialog about what you both want and believe. If you havent, its time. If you have, talk more.
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Hello.
First of all, I am not going to say to go right on and do it, and I am not going to say not to. Since it's not my decision. It all depends on your body and your feelings. Even though YOU might think the time is not right, you should listen and follow your heart. If you both think you are ready for this kind of comitment, then I say go for it. If not, than wait. Have a sit down with your boyfriend and talk it out. Don't feel presure that you need to have sex. Because that is defently not the case. You should never have sex under pressure. If you both think deep down that you both have reached this point in your life were you're ready for this. Then, you don't really need my advice now do you ?
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my advice is....DON'T!!!!!! just wait watch the secret life of the american teenager and if you already do then why would consider risking that? you could get HIV/AIDS you could get an STD or pregnant i honestly believe you when you say he's perfect but alll my friends tell me it's not worth it and now there boyfriends won't stop bugging them about getting in bed that's all they want from them my best friends boyfriend hits her now because she refuses to and she doesn't know how to get away and i'm not saying your boyfriend would do that because i'm sure he wouldn't but it's not worth it okay just wait at least till the end of high school
it would help to know your age =]
i really hope i helped even if you don't like my advice just think about it please....
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