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disappointed
13/F
The problem is that he and my mother got into a big fight and about him not coming home with his complete paycheck which ended in him leaving. He came back and confessed that he had ruined everything he worked for. He is a recovering addict and before he and my ma fought he was hanging with old friends and one of them happened to have drugs and my step father was drunk and had a pocketfull of money and made a really stupid decision. A whole year ruined by one night. I was so proud of him, He was so proud of himself. i dont know what to do. im so disappointed but i feel so bad for him. he and i just sat here and cried while he told me everything. and i all i could think to say was even the strongest ppl. give in. It hurt me so much to see one of the people i love the most and the strongest guy in my life to break down right in front of me. Im lone of the only people that can help him i just have no idea how. I cant just sit back and do nothing. How do i help him? I need to help him.
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You can't help him.
You are not one of the only people who can help him. HE is the ONLY person, on this whole planet, who can help himself.
He made a bad descision and he relapsed. That is the truth of being an addict. It happens.
Either he will rememeber his counseling, where they do talk about what to do when you slip, and ralley himself and try agian OR he wont.
That is entirely up to him. It's his choice to make.
You are his child, not his therapist or his doctor or his partner, or him. The only thing you can do is tell him the truth. Tell him you love him, tell him you are dissapointed. Your honesty is the best gift you can give him.
Other then that give him space to be an adult, and deal with this adult problem. Trust that he can do it. Tell him you trust him to fix this. He's shown you he can do it in the past. Go back to being his child. Your only job in his life is to love him, and to try and forgive him. It's HIS job to fix this.
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it isnt good to be under this much stress, if he doesn't be careful he might end up haveing a mental breakdown, then again, he doesn't have to have one. i would say to take him to a doctor, a psychologist or even a gp. him being like this isnt good for you either, by the sounds of it, you seem to have the whole world on your shoulders! helping him would help you as well.
hope all goes well.
if you would like to ask me privately you can email me on
vendulka.w@hotmail.com
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