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i am 19 and have a friend who lies about everything.
i have been friends with taylor on and off for more than two years. me and a few frriends will stay over her boyfriends house on weekends and part there random weekdays too. we always have a lot of fun, we are all exactly alike and just wild teenagers and twenty yearolds. i was shopping with our friend melissa last night and she told me thattaylor told her a story of how one day taylor was in stop and shop and when she came out i put condoms all over her car as a joke and she had to pick all of them up..., never happened. she also told melisaa that one time i put a bumpersticker on her car that said somehting funny.. never happened. and she also tellls me she has her nipples pierced but she tells me not to tell anyone else. so she clearly doesnt. she also told melissa i called her a pervert because she madeout with a 17yearold. and to be honest i dont care, its sort of funny. there are so many more stories like that, its just so aggravating. what can we do?
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Usually people lie either for attention or to obtain a quick desired result. Teenagers may lie to be the center of attention and to be funny or interesting when they really don't have much funny to say.
I would just talk to her and say....look, I'm your friend but I would like to know why you constantly tell people stuff that isn't true, especially when it's about me? Get her to tell you why she lies. She may not know. Usually kids get it from thier parents or someone they know that lies alot. Ask her if she knows the Ten Comandments? One of them is "Thou shalt not bear false witness."
When all is said and done there must be consequences if she just will not quit lying.
You and your friends will have to tell her you love her but you won't hang out with her anymore if she won't stop the lying....simple!
GL TheMaster
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I've had a couple friends like that. Theres a name for it. It's called compulsive lying. It's like people who are addicted smoking; for some reason they just do it and they don't know why nor can they really stop.
Notice how I said I had a couple friends like that. Eventually their lies grew so bad it was getting scary. Once, one lied about her birth date. HER BIRTHDAY. Who in the world lies about that?! I don't even want to go into the stories she made up...CRAZZZZY Stuff.
When they tell stories like that, it's like tanning in a tanning bed. We don't want people looking at us when we're white, so we cover it up by tanning. We feel self conscience when we're white, too. In her case, she doesn't want people thinking she lives a dull, unfulfilling life, so she covers it up with fun stories. Make sense? :)
First, not in front of everyone though, just a one-on-one conversation between you two, confront her about the lies. People who lie like that do it because they want others to think they have an awesome, fun life who does crazy and wild things. (Don't believe me? Think about the stories she's telling. When those stories ARE true, you and I both know we love telling them) So confront her. I'd say something like this "Look, I know about some of little make up stories you've been telling, and truthfully it's getting out of hand. I don't know why your lying about stuff like that, but it needs to stop. Your a cool person and one of my best friends, but obviously your lying about things for attention or something. If you need to talk about self-esteem issues, talk to me about it. Don't lie about fake things..." Just remember, your her friends, your suppose to support her, especially when she's doing things like that because obviously, she has an issue. That's what friends are for.
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You can't change your friend ... if she is the type to make up stories to appear clever, funny, interesting, etc... then that is who she is.
Honestly, none of the examples you gave looked like she was trying to make someone look bad. (The pervert thing was in a gray area).
You have a group of people you hang with and enjoy - just know there is 'always one in every group'. Enjoy the things you like about her - and then don't believe a word she says! Why cause drama by confronting her?
Chill, have fun. It isn't like her exaggerations are changing your life in any way.
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I know exactly how that feels. My friends and i are the same as well, if it was me and one of my friends where making up stories and talking sh*t behind my back i wouldn't take it. i would go up to whoever it is and tell striaght out that if you have something to say or stories to tell tell them to me. And the next time that happens you and i are no longer friends, don't come up to me and say hi because once your out you can't come back.
Some people aren't that way though. some are just well maybe if i mention it she/he might tell me what is up they might have a small problem at home or they just want attention, which is mostly that.
Tell it to their face that they need to stop spreading stories about you and if that doesn't work telling someone helps to, so you might be a snitch and a rat but at least she would stop if that doesn't work, say something that you know will terrify that person forever and just keep bringing it up when you hear more of these so called "stories".
Hoped my suggestions helped. Good luck.
dearbookworm
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Just tell it like it is. When your just hanging out just tell her and see how it goes. Hope it goes well
Mr-Fix-It
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