I love books and I love to give advice to people when they ask me. I am very well spoken and i tell you the honest truth. i don't just tell you on a whim, I actually process your problem and see how i could help with it. Solving problems aka drama's is something I do constantly with my friends.
Member Since: March 8, 2009
Answers: 85
Last Update: December 10, 2009
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My dad moved out, dont talk to him much, my mom and him have way too much drama, my sis moved like 45 min away driving. And i only see my aunts cusins on weddings. My mom is dating and im happy for her, but I just feel like I dont have family. Family is suppoosed to be a close bond. Someone you can turn to no matter what. Something more than friends and i dont have that. I want to be close to my sister and im her M.O.H but we dont seem to have much in common. I only see her like once a week for dinner and than she leaves right away. I just feel really allone like I have to build a family from scratch and it is such an awful feeling. Just wondering if anyone has any advice or anything to make me feel better =( (link)
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family is suppose to be that special bond, but friends are considered family as well. if you have great friends, then they will let you spend all the time in the world with them especially during the holidays, or maybe you could spend time with your mom's boyfriend or even both.
you don't need to build a family out of scratch, it is hard, friends are family, people that are in the same places as you and that you know are family, like if you go to the movies and you know the owner or something like that then that person is considered family.
i don't know how to make you feel better about not having that close bond with your family, i just hope all of these suggestions of people that you know and love will help you figure out that family doesn't have to be blood related.
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my boyfriend's 18 & i've narrowed down what i want to get him for christmas, either-
- new earring
- new sweatshirt / pair of jeans
- cologne
in addition to (all of these)
- homemade cookies (he LOVES to eat... like, obscene amounts..)
- a giant hershey's kiss
- a hemp necklace (he loves them, i'll make it myself)
- and possibly an 'inside joke' gift... funny boxers ;)
im afraid cologne will be one of those "oh.. again?" gifts. same with the clothes. but the thing is, my boyfriend doesnt exactly switch up his wardrobe that much... he pretty much wears the same three shirts, which arent bad, but ruins them by wearing this gigantic sweatshirt, which i wouldnt mind outdoors, but he wears it indoors, and its literally three sizes too big for him. and, to complicate things, he refuses to buy "brand names" (of which he considers anything in a mall, even including stores like aeropostale??) so i doubt i could find a good sweatshirt for him elsewhere. and the jeans- i HATE the jeans he has now, and i want to get him some sexy hollister jeans, but i doubt he'll wear them.
the earring, he said he wanted, but i have no idea how to pick out earrings for a dude lolll.
we've only been going out for two months (we started dating almost as soon as we met), but i feel like we've been together for ages, and he's already asked me to his senior prom. so he is worth spending some money on.
advice?:) thaanks! (link)
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well if he seems to think that everything in the mall is brand named, if you have others stores then go to those and get him a sweat shirt or pants.
if he really wants the earring, then get it, all you have to do is ask the people in the jewelry that your getting an earring for a boy and they will help you find one or at least show/point you in the direction of the earrings.
if he likes the hemp necklace then do it, it is from the heart and self made so he will love it even more.
good luck hoped i helped you
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They broke up last week and she is very very sad about it.
But, he was a horrible boyfriend and is a horrible person. He treated her badly, he made PLENTY of mistakes and she forgave him, then when she made ONE tiny mistake, and he dumped her. He got mad because she wouldn't have sex (she is 15 and he is 14!) and he was a total @ss hole.
She is naturally a very cheerful girl, she is strong and doesn't let people get her down, so i hate seeing her like this. She keeps blaming her self, but it wasn't her fault at all, it was his fault because he acted like an emotional, over-dramatic, inconsiderate, selfish jerk.
Anyways, she keeps beating her self up about it and she is completely in love with him still. She was always very social and loved hanging with her friends, but now she avoids all socialising and all human contact.
When we tried to ring her to ask if she was coming shopping with us, she ignored the phone call, so we rang her home phone and her sister answered, so she was kinda forced to talk to us, but she made sure it was a quick conversation. Its was like "Hey, are you coming?" "No... See ya." And then she hung up.
I know she is sad and we are doing EVERYTHING to help her, we are keeping it to our selves about how much we hate her ex boyfriend, we are supporting her, listening to her, and making sure that she is ok all the time, but she never makes the time for us any more.
The only way she could get happier is to do some socializing, but instead she is ignoring us and neglecting us and hanging out on facebook all day. And when we talk to her on facebook, she doesn't reply, and when I speak to her on MSN she signs off, and when any of us try to call her, she ignores the phone.
I am absolutely sure that we didn't do anything wrong or do anything to anger her, we are doing everything properly and supporting her, but she won't even talk to us. I dont know how to tell her that she has to cheer up a bit. I mean, I dont want to seem mean, and I dont want to force her out of her house if she doesn't want to go. And also, she might get mad because she has a bad temper and I have never been through a break up so I cant relate to her pain. But I am really concerned about her.
I just need advice on what to do with her. I cant keep it out of my mind because I am always worried about her. She was never sad and now she is really depressed over some d!ck head and I don't know what to do or say to her. I know that when your friend is sad you are just supposed to listen to them and be there and hug them but she wont talk to me and I dont know what to do any more.
I'm very worried and I need some advice on what to say... Anything that will make her realise that she is sad for a stupid boy, anything that will make her realise that she is neglecting her closest best friends, anything to make her happy.
PS. We have said "It isnt your fault" "He over reacted" "He was a jerk" "You are such a great person and I know you could get someone better and have a good life" "We love you" "We are worried about you" "Dont worry about him" "He was stupid" "We will be there for you" "You dont have to forget about him, just take your time to grieve" "It was his fault and he was mean" "He made A LOT of mistakes and broke up with you for one thing you did!" "How great were you to him? You were always there and were the best girlfriend, and he was dumb for letting you go" "You must be really sad and we understand."
We have tried to be supportive, loving, against him, for her, neutral, understanding, we have shut up and listened, we have tried and tried and I dont know what to do any more.
Please help!! (link)
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people who go through a break up react differently some just get over it and some get supper depressed.
that seems to be your friend. i have never gone through a break up either so i am just giving suggestions, but if you have already said we will let you have your time to grieve, can i ask how long you gave her. it is like when someone dies, you just got to leave them alone and let time heal her, she is upset over him and your bothering her to where she is neglecting you on purpose, she wants to be left alone, this is her whole goal and people keep getting in the way of her so called goal.
i know you love her and want to help but if she is ignoring you then just wait and let her come to you, let her grieve i know you wish to talk to her and get her all happy again but you and your friends need to give her time, don't be mean about it once she decides to come to you, just smile and if she wishes to talk then let her and just listen.
good luck, i hope i helped you
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ok so i'm pretty sure that i wasnt pregnant before october 11. I had sex once during summer without birth control but the guy was only in my vagina for a few seconds accidentally and other than that he was in my ass.. where he finished.. sounds like something that could get me pregnant but ive had a period since then. Then i had sex once right before school started (early september) with a condom... it broke but he put a new one on right after and he finished in my mouth so i'm not too worried about that. Shortly after this, I went on birth control that pretty much gets rid of my period. this lasts three months. I had sex on october 11th without protection and he finished in my vagina.. I have bled since then but idk if it was my period.. I'm now experiencing weight gain. This might be because of thanksgiving, and recently ive been eating out a lot so ive been eating more salty and more food than usual. I was thinking that the weight gain could have just been that i'm retaining more water because i'm pretty thin and can normally eat whatever i want to without gaining any weight. I was getting kinda paranoid about being pregnant so i started looking up symptoms. I'm kinda experiencing frequent peeing, a little bit of constipation (embarrassing to talk about haha) and some fatigue. All of these symptoms have other logical explanations too so the main concern is my belly. So does a "baby bump" look different than if i just gained weight around my belly? If you could show me pictures of what it would look like if it was just weight gain from food or whatever than that would be great. Pregnancy pictures are relatively easy to find but i guess people arent so excited to show off their chubbiness. Also, what do you think the chances are that im pregnant? is it worth getting a pregnancy test? I dont want to waste my money on one if i'm just being paranoid but on the flip side if i'm going to get an abortion or something, which is definitely a possibility, I should probably get on that sooner rather than later. And also buying a pregnancy test would be kinda embarrassing. Please keep comments about how i'm irresponsible for having sex or how im a monster for considering abortion to yourselves.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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i think that you should get pregnancy test, there is a difference between being pregnant and being overweight.
one weight your belly jiggles like Santa, two pregnancy your belly is more firm and rounder.
okay well i can't seem to put a picture on here so i go to google, look up pregnancy pictures and there is one that has a back ground of purple and a women who is gaining weight from the pregnancy, then google again and put weight gain pictures women and there are some there.
good luck really get the pregnancy test it is never a bad thing to get one even if your not, i know it is embarrassing to get one but it is better safe than sorry.
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Listen i am pre outgoing but with people i know..but like i can be really shy to whats the best thing fer me to do i am not the kind of person that looks like someone to talk to yah have to get to know me first? help? (link)
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there is nothing wrong with being shy around people that you don't know. it means your human, but if you really want to out going,i try to get to know that person ask them about there day or if they're doing alright.
mostly i would start small especially if your new to the out going scene. like walk up to a stranger and have a conversation, but if they look like there a killer or a pedophile, then don't do it. or if you get a weird vibe that say's this is a bad person don't do it
good luck
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I haven't seen my girlfriend in 6 months. I didn't realize how long 6 months was. she isn't doing bad, I mean she misses me, but her happiness outweighs her loneliness. Me on the other hand, I've never felt this lonely before. I love this girl. but its gotten to the point where when I think about her I cant conjure up any happy thoughts. it just feels empty. I feel so far away from her right now, emotionally and mentally. am i just being negative? It used to be fine. when i would start to feel lonely i would just think about holding her in my arms and it would ease the pain. now I feel nothing. I see her in two weeks. I SHOULD be excited but Im more nervous about it. I'm scared we spent too much time apart and now its too late. I'm scared that when I see her in two weeks and hold her, I wont feel the same way. I don't want this to happen. she made me so extremely happy only a few months ago. I want to be excited about her again. I want holding her hand to be different from holding any other girl's hand. how it used to be. I want my love back. I've talked to her about it and we aren't gonna wait this long to see each other again. not ever. but I'm scared there wont be a next time. I'm afraid that I've lost what I had and I can't get it back. I just miss her. (link)
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lets be honest first of all, love is a bitch. two i think that even though it has been six months that when you see her you should tell her how you feel and if she feels the same way then let it be over and done with. if she doesn't feel the same way, then tell her that you are able to fix this.
if you really love her then you will be able to fix anything even a six month separation.
good luck
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this lad i like in the year above in school is really cute an i have kinda fell in love with him. i was thinking about getting to know him abit better so that maybe in the future we could go out with each other and have a realtionship with each other. i was thinking about getting to know him abt better and having convo's with him on msn and then having convo's with him in school but i dont know were to start, what to say to him on msn that would make an exciting cono because he gets bored with the same old '' what you been up to'' any ideas please? thanks (: (link)
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Well since he gets bored with the what is up and how have been type of convo's then maybe you should say something that would throw even yourself off guard. like maybe you could start off with a question that is weird, or you could say something that has to do with a teacher or a classmate or an assignment. i know that this going to sound strange but if you really want him to not get bored the same old convo's then say something a little perverted that makes him actually have a conversation, but i would think about what to say if you decide to do the last one cause you have know what your talking about or it just sounds stranger than it is.
good luck
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i am 15 and there is a girl in my school that i am mad about we used to be freinds when we were younger but we both started to hang with diffrent people and just forgot about eachother and then in comp we got put in the same science class and now she is all i can think about and she is my first love two i have never had felling not even sexuall atraction to anyone else so i put my heart on the line and told her how i feel and she says i dont know you to talk to anymore and tbh i do not wont to so if you really do love me just try and leave me alon so i have but my fellings for her are starting to get me really down and my hole life is being affected froom it freinds, family, school grades and even my looks are suffering i have given up all gum and hair care thing ect. (link)
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don't worry you need to remember that your only 15 years old you have plenty of time to find the love of your life. your friends may think love is a competition and some type of race,but it isn't. because if you mess up and get the girl pregnant their goes your life.
the girl you are in love with doesn't love you and wants you leave her alone right? well she doesn't feel like her friends are going to like you trust me in any school friends seem like the most important thing to a girl and if her friends don't like her guy we take that in perspective but normally not everyone does anything about. i would wait a little longer and try talking to her again don't let her affect your life, try finding another girl to talk to most girls get jealous even if they don't have a boyfriend because we see that that girl is getting the attention.
she isn't worth the pain if after all of the things that you are trying to do to get her to be yours, let her go.
good luck
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So, my girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, and saw each other for the first time in a long time this weekend. We had sex, and usually I am very stern about wearing a condom, but we didn't have one, and we were both being stupid. Obviously I pulled out, but I know that is still not a great idea. This was this weekend (saturday night, sunday morning) and now it is monday, and we got into a fight. She said she is feeling all hormonal, and freaking out. I am trying to calm her down and tell her that its too early to be feeling anything due to pregnancy. Also, she is supposed to be getting her period soon, so it could be that as well. Either way, I just need reassurance for myself. (link)
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it has only been three days since then i don't think anything is going to happen, i think she is just a little nervous that she might be pregnant. but just to make sure i would get a pregnancy test for her and see what it says. she might be pregnant or she might just be afraid that she will end up pregnant.
i wouldn't worry especially if you do want children. but i wouldn't worry though she may just be a little omg because she thinks she isn't going to get her period but i would get the test just to make sure that she is okay. what you need to do is keep her calm because if you get made things will get even worse.
good luck hoped i helped you
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13/F
I have been looking everywhere for cool b-day party themes. Each website I go to, the only themes featured are murder, scavenger hunt, sleepover and things like that. I was thinking of doing a mall scavenger hunt/sleepover but I need more ideas. By the way, my b-day is in January, if that helps. (: (link)
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websites don't always give you everything and if they do they are not normally in the stores. i would try party city they have a ton of themes like fifty's to movie night. what you have there is a good idea, i think the mall scavenger hunt would be a little hard but that is just me. Halloween theme, disco, rock and roll even a james bond casino night with out real money use fake or a black tie affair were you could find some old music and have a little get together.
good luck
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Okay I have this best friend, I am female and she is female. I told her 2 years ago my feelings for her went deeper than friendship. The story is long so just know that every intuition and gut feeling of mine tells me she feels the same way about me but won't admit it. She KNOWS how I feel about her and she just spent a week with me on vacation, left her husband (no love there) at home. Anyway what I want to know is why if she knows how I feel would she sign off on an email "I miss you more than you will ever know"?? I don't get that statement.
Thank you for your advice. (link)
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she is saying goodbye because to be honest i think that she isn't going to leave her husband even if you say is right about no love in their relationship. she might even be a little freaked that you are in love with her. i mean if she already knew you were lesbian she might be shocked that you like her.
i would confront her about it call or face to face if email isn't working. if she isn't in love with you then you shouldn't ruin a good friendship over it. but that is what i would do if i were you.
good luck
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Ok, so this is a pretty confusing story, so im going to try to keep it short.
I've been friends with this girl Rachel since third grade. Not best friends, but we talk. I also have another friend, Lucas, and I've been friends with him since 5th grade. I've liked him since 5th grade, but in 9th grade, he started dating Rachel. I'm in 11th grade, and they're still dating. Last weekend, Lucas told me he has feelings for me, but I couldn't tell Rachel because he still loves her. Now Lucas is all I can think about. I recently went through a horrible breakup and he was there for me, which just makes me like him even more. He knows I like him, and I know he likes me, so its kind of hard to ignore the situation. I really want to stay friends with both of them, but this is super stressful on me. What do I do???
(16/f) (link)
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since your friend Rachel still loves him, i have to agree that is hard on two people when they like each other. but he is dating her you have to remember that, the fact that hasn't done anything about it, means that he is afraid just as much as you so what i would do is talk to him and tell him that you and him have to tell your friend because it is only right to at least let her know.
if he hasn't told Rachel that he likes you and hasn't broken up with her to go with you i would talk to him about that as well because you two like each other but he isn't going to break up because you guys are all friends.
goodluck
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Ever have those friends so close they feel like siblings? I have a really close brother-friend, and i mean we're ex bf/gf, but that just brings us closer. aaaanyway. he's turning 18, and i want to do something super special for him to let him know how amazing he is and how much he means to me! Any ideas?
just for info
-he's really into creating music in his virtual studio.
-he plays the piano
-he lives and breathes for teching and audio engineering.
-he's a pretty quirky guy, kind of lives for those "i'm insane, and your reaction was hilarious." moments. (link)
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have you tried to give him a song made by you this way when he plays the piano he will play your song and he will remember that this was a gift from you whenever he plays the song. or you to can create one together in his studio, or do something insane together that would let both of you have a good time.
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I was thinking about going out with a few of my girl friends this weekend and watch a movie. Somebody suggested us going to see "The Ugly Truth" that stars Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. It came out into theatres on July 24th and so I'm pretty sure our place has it. I just wanted to know if it was any good...anybody seen it yet?
Try not to spoil it, please, in case we do see it! (link)
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i saw it the day it came out, i liked it is funny and romantic and a little strange but i thought that it was a good movie. you should go see it.
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I'm looking for suggestions on outfits that would suit my body type, including what colors are best for me and what styles of clothing are best. Any suggestions would be greatl appreciated, esp pictures of clothing/outfits. I'm 17, 5'5" and 130 pounds. Here are a few pictures of me:
http://s247.photobucket.com/albums/gg128/aidenisfire/?action=view¤t=DSC_0200recoolb.jpg
http://s247.photobucket.com/albums/gg128/aidenisfire/?action=view¤t=DSCN3079.jpg
Any suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thanks!! (link)
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your very beatiful and i think just about anything would make you look good.
short shorts not so much but the dress with the plum color makes you look fab. jeans like lee or levi would look good it depends on the whether you like flares bootleg or straight cut.
shirts are whatever not to tight but not to loose, juniors have good choices.
dresses that are mid thigh or to the knee might work, what a lot of girls do is bring a friend either a girl or boy to tell them how they look. sometimes girls tell you what you want to hear rather than the truth that is needed. i can tell you that if you bring a friend that is gay he will honestly tell you how you look.
i hope this helped you . being in the teen years makes hard for girls especially to find clothes that fit them for they are always changing and developing. good luck
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I swear it was love at first sight, because ever since the first day I met jason he's the only guy I ever thought about. The problem is we're in a non dating relationship and its his choice! One day I went to see him and ran into a few of his freinds who said he was with this really hot girl and I never said anything to him about it because we're not official. But he knows I care about him more than anything in the world but he will not cave he is not going to have a real relationship with me now and maybe ever. I feel like the girl he can fall back on but he says its not like that. He says that he cares about me and im the only girl he does anything with but he's not ready to commit. Now there is this other guy chris he is my ex and we just started talking again like a month ago. He told me the first day we started talking again that he missed me so much and when I told him about jason he said he would wait until I realized we were meant for eachother. and he is doing exactly that! chris calls me every day and we talk on the phone for hours, he drops his plans for me every time I want to see him, and he tells me every single time we talk that he loves me. This is so hard I love jason and he's the one I really want but I dont think I will ever be abled to have him. Then there is chris my first real love and best friend who does everything for me and makes me feel so special, but sometimes when were together I cant help but think he's not right cause he's not jason. What should I do? (link)
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okay Jason may be the one you want to be with but that doesn't look like it is with him. he seems to be the player than a romantic. and he is wrong he will always fall back on you saying oh my new hot girlfriend who i only dated to make you jealous dumped me can we go out again.
one never go out with the same person twice because he is only falling back on you and is going to leave you once he finds someone else.
two if he really loves you and you are the only girl he cares about then ask yourself this, why isn't he with you? so he has commitment issues what man doesn't but that never means leaving if he truly loves you.
Chris i like him, he will drop all of his plans just to hang out with you and he tells you he loves you. how does that make you feel when he says it special right, does Jason make you feel special or do you just want him?
okay i know i said that you should never redate someone but when you think this is this thought coming from your head or your heart. your heart truly knows what best and only wants the best for you. if you like Chris then go out with him if he makes you feel like you should be when your with a man when you love him then date him.
Jason only wants you to see that he is only going to be there for you when it has something to do with him.
waiting for you two to be with each other, the only thing a man waits for is food if he is waiting for you that should tell you something, he is still in love with you.
but really no one can truly tell who to love or date or marry, it is harder than it sounds but you got to listen to your heart and if this Chris guy makes you laugh and weak in the knees or just plain happy isn't that like a sign telling you that you should at least give him another chance.
i hoped this helped you and good luck
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Okay..well..I realllly like this one boy! He is soo funny and nice! But, my parents would not let me,so I'm never going to ask! They wont even let me go to the movies with boys..or go to their houses by myself!! How do I get over this?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Also, their are some other boys that arent soo bad that actually like me!..
I dont know what to do..HELP! (link)
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well see my parents are the same it just depends on how old you are if you are 17 then you have no say but when you are a adult you are the one in charge because you are able to make your own decisions.
the boys that are wanting you to go to their houses or go to the movies with them it is good to go with friends unless your dating that guy, because as the old saying goes "safety in numbers".
i am not saying that the guys are not gentlemen but i am saying you need someone with you if he ends up to be a dude or a weirdo stalker or rapist use a code word. i do understand your parents concern, but you if you are 18 and older then they don't have to like the person you like because they never will
really what matters is what makes you happy
hoped i helped you good luck
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i have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and i was wondering, if you were going to get a present from your girlfriend, would you want a photoalbum?
Guys, please answer truthfuly. And girls, id like past experiences or stuff. Thank you so much. Im so nervous he wont like it =[ (link)
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if it was me i would ask him what he thinks of stuff like that because some guys not all but some think that is a little weird not if it is yours but giving it to them.
so truthfully i would ask your six month boyfriend and see what he thinks of the idea don't mention that it is going to be his kinda be like a girlfriend of mine gave her boyfriend a photoalbum of them together and he was thrilled by it, what do you think of that?
if he is one of the guys who is all who is this friend i want to meet her lie even more and tell him she left and i lost her number don't mention a name cause he'll go to his buddies and try to get her that is only if he is one of those guys.
hoped i helped you
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So I like this guy, Brad. I met him through school. He had just come from the beach and he wanted to hang out with me. I went on a date with him Wednesday night, and it was fun. But he didn't really do anything. Like the holding hands or put his arm around me thing. I started to think maybe he didn't like me? After the movie, he went to the bathroom and admitted he really had to go, haha. I'm kind of confused whether he does like me or just wants to be my friend. But at the same time, I think he DOES like me, because when he looks at me and talks to me, he has this tone in his voice that kind of reveals he at least thinks i'm attractive. But then, he only looks at my face when he talks to me, which is a plus. He also told me (through text) a few nights before we went on our date, that he's looking for a long relationship. I am too. And by the way, he paid for me, so it WAS a date. Yeah, thanks in advance.
And what are some good ways to flirt by the way?
(link)
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most guys are told by not only his parents but when your not there in the room with him and your parents they tell him what they expect of him, so he was probably being polite. or maybe he is just shy not wanting to move to fast so you don't feel uncomfrontable with him.
if what you say is true then he must be trying to impress you which is always a good thing considering most guys won't even pay for you and then try the whole night to get in your pants.
the flirting thing, um batting eyelaches, playing with hair, a giggle, trust he will know that you like him if you all of those things especially the giggle at whatever he tries to make funny even if it isn't, if you mess with your clothes or hair and smile alot then he will know for sure if he doesn't i think you are a friend.
i hoped i helped you good luck
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hey what are some songs with a male and female singer? like singing at the same time. alternativish. kinda like "Falling Slowly" by Glan hansard or "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" by snow patrol? i think they are really pretty
thanks! (link)
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cheater cheater, play the song: joey and roary
irun to you: lady antebellum
even now: caitlin and will
hoped this helped
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