My only bestfriend has been talking to this guy that I like alot lately. I really do like him, he's such a great guy. Well my friend and I were talking last night about her talking to him a little bit. Now talks to all the guys in our group A LOT. The problem isnt exactly that she talks to them alot. It's that they tell her so many things. Like when my friend,we'll call her A, and my other friend, we'll call him K, were going out K would tell my best friend things that he didnt even tell A. I dont know I just don't think that's right. It really bugs me that all the guys in our group talk to her and tell her things that they don't even tell their own girlfirends. I mean i'm glad that they can open up to her about things, but well I don't know it just really bugs me. My friend always does this, I say I like a guy and then she wants to talk to him all of a sudden. Not to mention the fact that she flirts with them. The guy that I really like, well she flirts with him constantly, she even told me she does, she also has a boyfriend so that definitely doesnt make sense to me. I just don't know what to do about it. She said she just gets along better with the guys, and I could have understood that, but the fact that she flirts with them, even though she knows that I really like them, I don't understand that. I don't know what to do. What do you think of this, what should I do. I'm just really scared of losing him to her. I really don't want that to happen. Plus I don't like her flirting with so many people even though she has a boyfriend. She even flirts with other guys in front of her boyfriend, and then if he gets the least bit upset about it she just tells him to stop being so jealous and that it's nothing. I don't know, help please. Any advice would be greatly appeciated.
NikkiD answered Wednesday March 18 2009, 1:07 am: You're not gonna like this but. Firstly this is why men cheat, because they can! Secondly, she can't steal nothing from you that you don't allow her to and really if he don't want you he will leave anyways. Question, are you a shy person? More reserved than you feel she is? Other guy hit it on the head! Granted she likes the attention, all women do! If the homeless man on the street says we look good we r smilin all day! Now what I know is your best friend is different different from you, maybe more outgoing than you but that's why you are friends because the traits she has, are traits you are attracted to because you don't have them or but you wish you did. And she could get along better with guys because she has experienced 5 other females that week that have said the same thing you are sayin now. But hopefully they are doing it to her face! So instead of callin friend A and K and Z. Realize while you are worried about who is talking to who, everyone else is getting their needs met having fun etc. And you're suffering when you could be out with your man having fun and being there for him to talk to or hanging with your BFF! Let it go! [ NikkiD's advice column | Ask NikkiD A Question ]
maddiec123 answered Tuesday March 17 2009, 6:49 pm: EDITED: WARNING - this reviewer rates with a 1 if you don't agree with her: (example. Oh you are so right. You should stop her from flirting. She has no right to do that...he likes you not her ...blah blah blah...) This gets you a high rating. BUT, if you tell her like you see it with sincere advice she rates a 1. She is too immature to take constructive criticism. EDITED
Wow. A lot of things to address here...
1. Your flirty friend and her BF ... none of your business.
2. How much your flirty friend flirts ... none of your business.
3. What other boys tell her that they don't tell their girlfriends ... none of your business.
4. Who your flirty friend flirts with ... none of your business.
It doesn't matter that you 'don't think it is right'. That is your own code of ethics and you can't FORCE her to behave the way YOU think she should.
She probably does get along better with guys. Most girls are threatened, jealous and disapprove of her, and guys love the attention she gives them (and she loves the attention she GETS from them.)
Now - your personal friendship with this flirty friend - THIS is your business and you have every right to set boundaries as it affects you directly.
You need to tell your flirty friend you REALLY like this guy and IT HURTS YOU when she flirts with him. She may reply that it doesn't mean anything and you shouldn't be upset - then you can point out if it doesn't mean anything, then she shouldn't mind backing off.
Also, give the guys some credit. Unless they are thinking with the wrong head, they see her for what she is. Guys enjoy a flirt, but it doesn't mean they take a chronic one seriously. They know they aren't the ONLY guy she is flirting with. They know for her, flirting doesn't equal interest.
It sounds like you are at a point where you need to re-evaluate this friendship. You have to either accept her as the flirt she is ... or decide you need a different kind of a friend. Because you can't change her. Her flirting is filling a need she has for attention.
There is also the 'can't beat 'em, join 'em' rule of thumb. Take lessons from the master and learn a little about how to flirt yourself. Because as soon as you get this girl out of your life, there will be another one flirting her ass off right behind her. [ maddiec123's advice column | Ask maddiec123 A Question ]
Dearbookworm answered Tuesday March 17 2009, 6:17 pm: First off tell your friend to stop her flirting, second a lot of friend talk to the guy that their friend likes because they want to know if this guy is good for them or not. Also tell your friend to back off especially if she knows that you like him, because she is doing this to annoy you and it is working. so, call her on the carpet and tell her to leave your man alone, he is yours okay not yet but if he likes you back then he will be. That is the best part of being a girl you can be as mean as you want and you can blame it on your period or just her. Stand up for yourself.
Here is what you should do, instead of her talking to him, you should and when it looks like she is on the verge of flirt central, butt in and when I say butt in I mean it push her off to the side and pull him away saying that you need to talk to him in private. Then make something up like: do you have the same teacher for math or something. If you don't have the same teachers at different times don't use it.
A lot of girls are good with the guys because they seem to understand them a little more and like you said it is great that your guy friends are so open to her, but she isn't their girlfriends and whatever is the problem in their relationships won't help them if they talk to your friend.
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