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Little Bit of Everything
Hi all, I want to first say thankyou so much for reading this, and I'd just like to hear your opinions, personal experiences, etc. I know this may be a little awkward, so sorry! I'm usually not this open about my personal life but I need advice and words of other people.
Okay, I'm 16/f and my boyfriend is 15/m. We are in the same grade and have been happily dating for 7 months.
Well, recently my boyfriend has been getting a little frisky when we're together. However, I have yet to expose myself to him because of some feeling I've been having:
A.) I feel like that when I do expose myself to him (removing my bra, etc..), I'll have lost a part of my innocence. I know that when he starts getting frisky, I tell him to wait, and he really respects that and says okay (we're both "goodie goodies", if you will lol) and I am so beyond thankful for that. But obviously I know that he won't wait forever, but I know that feeling of my losing innocence will still linger. I don't know why I feel this way, I mean, I care for him beyond belief, I'd risk my life to save his. I'm not ashamed of my body, I guess maybe it's because I'm afraid of what he'll think? I'm not sure, have any girls ever had this feeling before?
B.) I'm not IN love with him, or I don't believe I am, but I do love him as a person and a boyfriend and I know he likes me so much (I asked him how much he liked me and he responded "to the moon and back" so I took that as a very good sign), however, we still haven't told each other that we have love for one another. I really want him to say it, because I can't just fully unclothe myself to someone who doesn't feel the way I feel about them. I'm a pretty moral person, and that'd be 100% going againt what I believe. So what should I do to try and provoke him to say it? Should I ask him? I don't want him to say it if he doesn't mean it, but I just want to know before I do anything with him. He's a really really good kid, as am I, but this is our first real relationship and I just would like the aspects of other people.
Thank you soooo much in advance! This truly means a lot to me, so thank you for taking the time to read it :)
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well let me start off with i'm your age, my boyfriends a good guy like you said yours was, and i'm alot like you with the morals and goodie-two shoes haha. i've been in your A situation before, just a few months ago where i felt weird about exposing myself to him but let me tell you, i felt so much more comfortable when the lights were really dim (or out) cause then you can't see every detail you know? and i felt like i was losing my innocence but once you actually get in the moment, and you're in love with the guy, its actually amazing :)
for part B, just to be sure, i wouldn't do anything with him until he says he's in love with you or something of that matter because when you're doing things with him and you know he's in love with you, it makes it soo much better. i wouldn't ask him if he loves you, but maybe throw in some hints (like when you're watching a romantic movie or you can be like aww he really loves her) stuff like that you know?
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i respect you for having the ability to say no. and it's good that he respects you. just wait till you are truly comfortable with it, so you won't regret it. and hopefully if he cares he will wait with you. if he decideds he can't anymore than that's his problem, not yours.
you can't really provoke him to say iloveyou. for all you know he wants to say it he just doesn't have the guts either. so if you believe you're ready to tell him you love him then say it first and see his reaction. if he can say it and it sounds meaningful then maybe things are ready to go to that next step.
it's all up to you, and when you feel you are comfortable with everything to happen. so if you have any regrets wait till you don't.
hope i helped.
:]
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THANK YOU SO MUCH!
You actually are trying to not be the stereotypical teenage girl in a relationship. It's very refreshing. =]
Anyway. Don't do anything sexual with him if you're not comfortable. And since you don't sound comfortable doing it, then you probably shouldn't. Yes, it will take away from your innocence, and what if you decide to do things that you'll later regret because you're not dating him anymore? This is why sex and sexual things are for married people. ;]
I'm glad that you realize you're not IN love with him- you just love him as a person. So many girls and guys claim they love their boyfriend/girlfriend that they forget how complicated love really is. Don't force him to say it, because then how will you know it's what he feels? Don't try to get him to say it either. If he means it, he'll say it eventually. And besides, that stuff is really unnerving for a guy; just be patient. Maybe he isn't IN love with you, he just really likes you and is having a good time with you. You don't have to be madly in love to keep a relationship going at this age. Remember that. ;]
--Jack
(17/m)
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well first of all...you shouldnt feel awkward. this happens to most of us. but youre young. youre 16 & hes 15. & you two are in your 1st relationship. i dont think you should force him to say he loves you & i dont think he should get frisky either. makeout sessions are okay, but anything farther then that is going to follow you for the rest of your life. talk to your bf about it. tell him youre not comfortable. if he stops, perfect! if he doesnt, he isnt worth it. you want to do it when youre ready...not when hes ready. you two havent experienced love yet....dont you think itll be better when you wait for your love?
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