|
Pregnant with dead exes baby??
I'm really confused about what to do!
To make a very long and complicated story short and simple, I had sex with my ex boyfriend of 4 years about 2 months ago. He committed suicide about 2 weeks ago.
I think I may be pregnant with his child. I'm against abortion and would never give up my own child for adoption because... you know... it's MY kid! However, I don't have the money to raise a child. I'm in college right now and if I am pregnant, then the baby would be due around October... I can't not go to school because then I won't have a degree to get a decent job, besides who would take care of the baby while I'm working/in school... my parents would never help me out with this... they would press for adoption or abortion because they're barely financially stable enough to help us - I'm in school strictly on student loans, my brother is joining the armed forces so they'll pay for school, and my sister never went to college- she's got a full time job and is living at home. None of us can support a baby, and I can't ask my dead exes mom to help - she just lost her son and is extremely financially pressed... it's insane! I don't know what to do !!
What would you do if you were in my situation?
I don't have anyone to turn to because the baby's father is dead... I just don't know what to do right now!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
You should not keep the baby & try to raise it without an adequate amount of money just because it's your baby.
That's extremely selfish and makes no sense whatsoever.
I think you have no other choice but to give the baby up for adoption because if you decide to keep this baby, you will run out of money. Then, your parents may try to help in your time of need. But you said they're not financially stable enough. Ultimately, everyone would starve.
The solution is clear. Give the baby up for adoption. Some other couple who will give your baby a good life with the necessities of life and you'll feel confident in your decision.
Also, it doesn't seem that you would want a reminder of your ex as a reminder of his demise...sorry to be morbid. But really.
]
First, I want to tell you that Im very sorry for your loss. If you are pregnant, find out what public welfare agencies and things like that are in your area. For example there is a place called Planned Parenthood in my town and many low income or single mothers go there and they will help you with the medical care and things like that. Look into things like WIC and food stamps and medical insurance. For single mothers, especially ones in school it is very easy to get government assistance to help you. And in some areas the government has day cares set up that are based on your income and since you are a single mother in college I'm pretty sure you would get it for close to nothing, if not free. You just have to really do research to find out what resources are there to help you.
I understand your not wanting to give the baby up for adoption. I think if it were me I would try my best not to think of that as an option too. But if it comes down to it, just think about your baby and what would be best.
And I do agree with what someone else said about going to your exes mother. I agree that it might help her cope with her sons death. Some people believe that when the Lord takes someone away, he gives someone else in their place.
I wish you the absolute best of luck and again im very sorry for your loss.
]
Daycare issues- In Wisconsin most of the tech schools have daycares for daycare teaching students to practice. You could take out student loans or they could have grants. Plenty of people work during college and have children. In certain states you could get the state to pay for daycare.
What would I do- If I had a year or 2 to finish college I would keep the baby, if I 3 to 4 years to go I would give the baby up for adoption. It just depends on you. But you should definitely think of the baby.
Things to do- look up the career you want to go into and check the salary and think and see if you could financially pay your bills, buy food, pay rent or mortgage, daycare, transportation expenses, and figure out paying back loans.
I am sorry about your dead ex-boyfriend, and I hope you make the right decisions. I also hope you follow my advice.
--I hope I helped.
]
First, go to the doctor or pick up an at home pregnancy test.If you're pregnant,find a local public library near you,and look to see if there is any programs that can help you financially and with prenancy and so on.If you find the right program for you, join the program.It should help you.Every state has at least one program for women who are pregnant and aren't financially capable to care for the child. I hope this helps.
]
Find out if you are pregnant first.
Seriously. You are just going to flip out about this until you go to the doctor, and get a definate answer.
Once you have a definate answer, then you can flip out. But then you can also tell your family, and your exes family, and your friends and other people who care for you, and you can ALL brainstorm togeather what is to be done.
Your parents can't make you give the baby up if you don't want too... so just be clear that those aren't opitions and be open to suggestions, even ones that aren't exactly what you want.
But first things first: Go to the doctor and get a proper pregnancy test.
]
Yeah, it is called owning up to what has happened and raise the baby yourself. Not to be mean. But I would suggest adoption over abortion. Not a murderer here. There are plenty of people who would love to adopt. best of luck to you hun.
:)
]
This is so tough and I'm so sorry about your situation but the first thing you need to do is find out if you are actually pregnant for sure. Go to the doctor.
If you are pregnant I think you should turn to your ex's mother. Why? Because this could be just what she needs, a little part of her son. I mean that is if you choose not to give your baby up, or abort it.
I know it may seem impossible but it truly is not. It will be hard, but you can do it. Look for cheap day care centers and get a job. Look for help and support within your friends.
]
If I was in your situation, I would look into adoption. If you are for sure pregnant(have a positive test), try talking to your ex's family. They may have someone in the family that would be willing to adopt the baby so it stays with family, especially since they lost a family member. After you do that, if they can't/won't consider adopting the baby, then look into adoption agencies and find a good family you like to adopt the baby. There are many good couples out there that can't have babies of their own. Wish you luck.
]
More Questions: |