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too many
im 18 years old. a girl. and ive had sex with 16 guys. I don't know why I let myself get that bad. It's wayy too many guys and only a few of them have been my boyfreinds...others are just hook ups.
I always tell my self to not let things like that happen, but I just can't help it, I dont know what to do. I like the feeling of being with a guy because it makes me feel wanted and accepted...but it needs to stop. I just don't know how.
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sorry but you have the will power of a rat turd. hang around your dad get a steady job and then look for a boyfriend(way i say hang around your dad is i bet you have daddy issues)
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How many is too many? There is no answer to that question. You slept with lots of guys- but that really isn't the issue. What matters is the reason you are going after the sex in the first place.
You have sex because it makes you feel "wanted and accepted." People do different things to please people: have sex, flatter people, shower people with gifts, etc., etc. People sometimes do these things to feel wanted. These are very unhealthy and destructive habits. You see sex as a way of feeling close to someone. Sex with people you hardly know gives you a false sense of security and belonging.
You have to look at the root of the problem, and work on that. My feeling is that you feel insecure and need attention because you might feel lonely or lack emotional attachment. Insecurity manifests itself in different ways. It might lead someone to care too much about what others think, or to always try pleasing people (for the same reason). For you, sex is a way of trying to please other guys and to get them to want you, because you might care too much about what they want and not what YOU need. Sex for you is also a way of feeling loved. You are not going to get love from people you hardly know.
You need to focus primarily on yourself. Sleeping around will not make you feel wanted or accepted. If sex actually met that aim, you would not be sleeping around. It only takes one guy to make you feel wanted. Just like expensive things will not ultimately make you happy, sleeping around will not ultimately give you love. Focus on doing meaningful things (anything really) that truly makes you happy. Make a rule of thumb for yourself when it comes to sex...for example, no sex for at least __ month(s). Or make it clear that you will not have sex with anyone new until you feel totally comfortable with them, and stick to that goal.
Build up your confidence, and you will see that you don't need to have sex all the time to be happy.
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It isn't that you have had sex with too many guys, it is the attitude you have toward the sex. You know having sex makes you feel cheap, yet you continue to do so. Maybe you are not looking so much for acceptance from these guys as you are looking to beat yourself up. You can decide to honestly accept yourself as you are. So, you've had sex with 16 guys, and it's a little much, but you have had those experiences and now you're looking for something different. You want to be in the type of relationship where you are accepted and the sex is just a bonus. My guess is if you had sex with 16 guys who you really felt a strong connection to, you wouldn't be feeling this way. Don't give up on the sex--it can be great. Just make a real connection before you have sex.
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You need to look into your life and find what is making you feel that way. We all need to feel loved but there are better ways of going about that. Talk to your parents about seeing a therapist who can help you look back into your life and find the causes. Stop having sex. Sex is like a drug, so when quiting take it a day at a time. If you need anymore advice i have tons. if you need to talk about this more in deapth email me:
d-rainkrueger@hotmail.com
You are worth so much more then a one night stand, think about yourself and your body. Stop doing this.
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