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I'm really nostalgic... :(
I'm going to try to shorten my life story, so here it goes;
When I was a kid, my life was literally perfect. Of course, a lot of people's are when they're a kid. But everything was just so perfect and now, within the last couple of years, my life has changed so drastically and I can't get a hold on the fact that that's just how life is. In the past couple of years;
-my parents got a divorce because my mom cheated on my dad
-my brother (I am VERY close to him) has been on and off drugs and was sent to an insane asylum and Juvinille detintion center for aggravated assault.
-My brother got his girlfriend pregnant and they ran away together. He recently came back and is under house arrest.
-My dad really dislikes my mom but my mom is really ditzy and thinks life is fine right now.
and there's more. I'm not saying all of this for pity, I'm really not. I'm sick of pity, because I've probably got it better then most people out there. But apparently I am my family's therapist or something because everyone talks to me about everything. I'm only 14! My dad tells me how much he doesn't like my mom, my mom tells me how screwed up my brother is (which is bull, because she never talks to him and doesn't even know him that well), and my brother tells me all of his thoughts. I love him to death, but his thoughts are scary, even to him. He's extremely screwed up, and he knows it. He's told me so many things and I just feel like he needs real help. I can't say what he's told me, because he trusts me, but I will say he's very bipolar, he's very depressed, and he's suicidal. I could not live if he killed himself, I'm afraid I would lose it. He's described to me very graphic things he's thought about. I just don't know if I can handle any of this stuff anymore. Everyone's always known me as the optomistic person who gives advice, but I don't know what to say when it comes to all this.
All of this makes me continuously think back to my childhood and miss it. It actually hurts to think back to then, remembering how great it was then. There's just so much going on right now, I feel like running away or something. Not because I'm running away from my problems, but because I want to run away from what's going to happen to all these people if they continue thinking the way they do.
And on top of all of these feelings, many of my best friends don't know what they're doing, because they come to me for advice too. Of course, their problems are quite minimal compared to my families, as most of them are just about typical teenage girl stuff, but it's still like adding leaves to the fire. Everyone comes to me for advice and no one just stops and helps themselves.
I just can't handle life anymore. Not meaning to sound suicidal, because I'm not. I also don't think I'm depressed. But I believe being so nostalgic might continue to hurt me until I am depressed. I feel like I'm wearing a mask, different for everyone I talk too and I can only be myself when I'm nostalgic. Please help, I'll rate you or whatever, I just need help.
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:( it sounds like you've had a really rough time honey.
I think you best plan would be to start with your friends - I'm not sure whether you've told them about your problems. You can either talk to them about the stuff thats going on with you, or at least , tell them that you have stuff going on at home (you dont have to be specific) and ask if they would maybe back down on asking for advice for a while?
Then, you need to talk to your Mom and Dad. You need to tell them that while you appreciate that they both have problems - they have NO right to pile it all on you. Being 14, still in school, you should be more worried about boys, homework and friends. Obviously you care and want to be involved in your family, but you shouldnt be the advice giver for everyone. Hopefully once they hear what youre going through too - they will try and lift some of the wight off your shoulders.
If this doesnt work, try speaking to your guidance counselor at school or something, they will be able to help you, and could even talk to your parents for you.
Hope that helps sweetie, and good luck!
xoxo
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Well easily said prescribe your friends to this website so they can leave you alone on their issues. But for the most important part, I think you should go to a person who you and your brother, but mostly your brother, trusts. Because you dont want to have to dwell on the thought that he could take his life any second, he needs to be reminded that he has you and his girlfriend or wife and a child on the way, and that there is so much to live for, and so many people that love him. Im not saying sic a psychiatrist on him, but he needs someone who will listen to him understand him, and kind of ease him out of the state that he is in, it may not be helpful, but the only thing you can do is be patient and pray on it.
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sweetie your much too young to be handling all of this. i can't imagine how you deal with it. first off. your parents need to stop putting you in the position where they constantly VENT at YOU. you didn't do anything wrong dear. also i'm confused as to how many brothers you have. one or three. and how old? anyway i know what you mean when you say your their therapist. i get so much shit from my bf who i love to death. but anyway. tell your parents you cant handle them constantly venting in your direction. or just don't let them. leave the room. do something to distance yourself from the noise in your house. i would continue to talk to your brother. but remember, everything he is telling you is his burden to bear. not yours. but that doesn't mean you can't help him. you just can't fix him. just listening is enough. if you don't know what to tell him. tell him you don't know. hugs are often appreciated. and helpful when dealing with stress. and talk to a friend, if you can. that can be really really hard when they don't know or understand whats going on in your life. but if you need someone to talk to
lostinmyundefinedsoul@yahoo.com
or
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
good luck
<3 sara 19
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