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16 or 17 yearolds hanging out with 13 yearolds .?
Hi im thirteen & i have these two guy friends that are older then me like one 16 and the others 17 . And they wanna hang out with me . But im not sure if i wanna hangout with them cause im younger and + my mom probally wouldnt aprove of me hanging out with them once she heres there ageses . Everytime they ask me to hangout with them i always have to make up an excuse that i cant that im grounded or something like that ... & there both nice . But i don't know what to do . ?
should i lie and hangout with them and sneak around or should i just keep putting them off . Please help ! Im in a giant state of confusion & id apreciate it greatley .
- torii babiiee *
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
if you feel that it is creepy for them to want to hang out with you then dont hang out with them. either tell them the truth on how you feel or lie and say that your mom forbids you to hang out with them. but if you get a perfectly good vibe from these boys then maybe you can hang out with them as long as you have other friends to back you up just in case trouble occurs.
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I can honestly say i have been in a situation sort of like yours, and i'm going to tell you that if i had a choice to take it all back i would in a heart beat, guys that age are thinking about things you shouldn't be yet. Try sticking around with people your age, or if you absolutely must see them, have more than one or two girls go with you to see them so your not bullied into something you wouldn't want to do. If something does happen that your not happy about, the next time they ask tell them in a mature way, there too old and you would prefer not to see them while your this young.
i hope i could help(:
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No, its not really cool.
Here I will explain the myth of "age is just a number" and why it is, in fact, false.
Alright. So lets say that puberty is around when you really begin noticing and understanding things about sex and dating. Lets say at 13 you've been in puberty less than a year.
So, you have at most a year of the beginnings of adult life experience.
At 16 and 17 these guys have had a minimum of 3-4 years of working on adult life experience.
So, in technical terms these guys have something like 3-4 times the experience of interacting like you're doing than you do. Years more worth of thought, action, and memory.
This is why guys like younger women. Because they have enough experience to be able to manipulate them. This isn't even a malicious aspect of men, its simply the fact that often a woman of same age offers more of a challenge than a guy can handle. Its easier to be the lead in any situation when you have someone who isnt as confident because she isnt as old and doesn't have as much life experience.
Hence, we come to you, and these guys.
Lets say the 17 year old decides he wants to sleep with you.
He knows from experience that if he presses too hard, he can scare you away. He knows from a few years of trying things what he can and can't try and when. He knows from experience what you want to hear from him in order for you to feel comfy around him.
This allows him to (if he so choses) put on a front made entirely to win you over. He isn't necessarily going to be doing it to be an asshole, he might genuinely like you and want to date you.
But he has a clear advantage in the situation towards getting what he wants. And he will use it, even if only unconsciously.
Now imagine you in this situation. You might not even notice that he's trying like hell to get with you, because you havent been around enough guys who are trying to get laid. You don't know what to look for. And...
Well, at 13, alot of your thought processes come and go as "should I?". Just read this website. You will see "what should I do?" questions relating to sex all the time. This is because at 13 very few people understand the concept of "what do I want, and what will I allow". This is where all those questions and situations of "I had to stop him because he went too far" come from. Girls aren't sure if they "should" let a guy do what he wants and so they let him go further than they are comfy with because they are too scared of saying "No, this makes me uncomfortable, I don't want you to do this" A 13 year old might say yes, or simply not say no because shes afraid of doing something wrong, where a 16 year old wouldn't give a damn, would consider the guy a creep for trying, and might slap him.
And there is a good possibility that a 16 year old would know this, and be able to work that angle to get what he wants when you don't want to give it.
Let me give you another example.
I am a bit above average in the perceptiveness area, so I started paying attention to girls early. I knew it would be important. I began learning how to hide some of my flaws and use others to present the image I wanted to a girl. I know this to the point that I can watch a girl and know if she wants to kiss me by her body language. And be right virtually 100% of the time.
Now, you can imagine this gives me a HUGE first date advantage. I know how to figure out what a girl wants to see, and show it to her, while subtly trying to feel her out to find out what she doesn't want to see.
How can I put that in practical terms. I know. I hit my 4 year later this month with my girlfriend. I can STILL manipulate the hell out of her. She thinks I'm adorable, and so when I screw up all I have to do is find a way to look cute and she is no longer mad at me. I get away with so much more than I should like this. Like the other day, I spent a good bit more on DVDs than I should have. She was pissed, I got cute, and we cuddled up and watched a movie.
I really should have gotten in more trouble than that for spending fifty bucks without asking.
I bring all of this up because two guys wanting to hang out with a single girl is NOT just because they like her company. Not at 16 and 17. At 13 you don't need to let yourself be chased buy guys more than a year or so older than you. Its better just not to put yourself in that position.
If you want to hang out with them, do it as a part of a larger group. Easy way to keep yourself safe. If it was you, them, another guy and another girl or more, you would probably be alright.
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honestly stay away from them because your so much younger and there probably looking for things you dont wanna encounter yet so stick with kids your age or maybe a year or two older...and stay out of trouble 8]]
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Sweety
They are only 3 years older than you.
Its okay man
i mean
im 14
and i hang out with college people,16,17,18 year olds.
But they are rlly rlly cool and out there
It doesnt matter what ages people are
it depends on the people
and if they get along
Age is just a number
so tell your mom that you like these kids and maybe so ur mom could feel more 'comfortable'
she should meet em.
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First thing first.You should be able to hangout with anyone,as long as your parents meet them everthing should be okay.
And you should also know them good enough.
Because if you knew them for a while you should know how they are.
And if you really wanted to hang out with them you would,because you trust them.
But there is a reason besides your mom knowing.
Your thinking other wise.Be smart do the right thing.And if you have any older brothers or sisters let them know that you have these friends.k
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If they are nice girls then I wouldnt worry about it too much, just ask your mom nicely. Its not like you are going to a huge party with them, and if your mom says anything about it, just re-assure her that its not an every-day thing. Just make sure you can handle yourself under peer pressure, if those girls ask you to do drugs or drink or anything, do NOT say yes, you do NOT have to do anything you dont want to, that does not make you cool. Im sure you have heard that a gazillion times but never forget it, and now you have heard it a gazillion and one :-) Good Luck! ps.
If your mom says no, ask her what to say to them next time they ask you, this way you dont have to make up any excuses, :-)
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