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attention seekers
15/f
there are girls in my school who pretend to be depressed/cut/have eating disorders. it drives me crazy! But i don't want to just assume that it is simply attention seeking. what do you think are signs of attention seeking?
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um first off i will start off by saying NOT ALL CUTTERS ARE SEEKING ATTENTION! this goes for the depressed and have eating disorders i know you probably know this but wanted to make sure. Being a recovering cutter i hid it never wanted any one to know. its those idiots that show it off that want the attention! I HATE THOSE PEOPLE! If any of you attention seekers are out there i will say stop now while you can! but you will know. i mean i have had eating disorders before i have been through alot and will say some just dont tell the world. but there certainly are the ones that do and u will know them when you see them
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Something to remember is:
If someone is attention-seeking in this manner then something, deep inside, is truly messed up with them.
If you find someone attention-seeking like this then you should feel sorry for them because, obviously, they aren't able to handle reality. I use to get very mad when I found out someone wasn't really doing XYZ that they claimed was so horrible, but I realized that they had deeper problems that than for making it up in the first place.
Everyone wants to fit in somewhere. If you're pretending to harm yourself just to fit in, what does that say about you? Obviously you feel like a completely outcast and like the only people that would even turn their heads toward you are the people that really DO hurt themselves.
People that pretend to have these sorts of illnesses need to go into therapy just as much as the people that really do suffer from those things. THAT is something you need to remember too.
The only way you can tell if someone is attention-seeking is if they claim to do one thing and really don't do it--ever. That can be very hard to do so your best bet is just to assume they are ill anyway--which, even if they are attention-seeking, is very true.
Think of it this way:
Eating disordered women usually lose weight very quickly or are very thin. (They don't eat, or go to the bathroom directly after eating. They have thinning hair, brittle nails, dry skin, etc.)
Self-injurers usually have marks on their bodies, although, they might hide them under clothing. (They can cut on, say, thighs for all you know)
Depressed people usually have major things going on in their lives--even if you don't feel it's major though, they may feel it is. (High school = major)
But people can pretend very easily. People can be naturally thin and pretend they are ill. People can pretend they self-harm every day in inconspicuous places because they know you won't/can't check those areas. People who are happy can pretend to be depressed because they have, at some point, learned that emotion.
It's like a little kid that lies and says he is sick so he can't go to school. He isn't REALLY sick, but he may look the part. He may even begin to believe it for the day and mope around the house a little. The real reason behind him pretending to be sick is that he wants to avoid something at school. Maybe he doesn't fit in with the kids and this is the only way to avoid the humiliation of being in the class.
This may be the only way the people can see to actually fit in somewhere. People can create lies that would amaze you and some of them are pretty good at keeping them up, but the lies aren't coming out of the blue for no reason at all. There are reasons as to why these people are making up lies--and I guarantee it's MUCH larger than simply wanting attention.
Even if it ALL it is happens to be wanting attention then think about what may have caused such a demand for it. They must lead very lonely lives at home or they had a very lonely childhood. Their parents may be neglectful in some way. They may feel like they don't deserve attention so go about strange ways of seeking it.
You will see this throughout your life. People pretending to be gay (or bi)--not because they are, but because they think someone will love them then. People pretending to have extremely busy lives because they don't know how to communicate with others--so they sit at home ALONE each and every evening watching the television. People pretending to have partners so they feel more like an accepted human being than some lonely creature who cannot find a mate. So many things you will see as you grow older.
Just move on with your life past these sorts of people and pray for them. You don't have to go along with their pretend game, but you should not drive them into the ground because they are mentally unstable. If you want to make things better for them, start suggesting they see the school's therapist each time they begin bringing up their "problems" to you.
Encourage them to seek help.
Don't encourage them to continue being "ill" anymore than they are. Making them feel more of an outcast (yes, even when they have 50 friends they definately can feel this way) will only cause them to create more made-up scenarios.
These people are just sick.
Encourage them to get help and move on with your life.
I hope things go well and you understand that these people aren't as simple as you may have thought. It can be very frustrating but you just have to remember that they ARE sick in some way--even if it isn't the way they are claiming. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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People whom are telling everyone oh i feel depressed. or show off they are cutting. People who are not seeking attention try and hide it.
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People who go showing it off and telling their whole life story and seeking sympathy. You can tell because its like their sad about it but just want to keep spilling their guts out to you. If they were truly all depressed and what not they would keep it to themselves like a secret instead of making drama for the world to know.
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You can tell who is an attention whore if they brag about these things.
If someone physically shows you their cuts thats more of an attention seeker because they want other people to sympathize and such.
Same with the eating disorder people. They want people to feel bad for them so they will make sure everybody knows about it.
However those that are depressed is a little more hard to tell. But you can tell when they start telling random people, people they barely know, their life stories & how their lives suck.
Hope I helped!
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