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stressful senior year
im going threw a whole lot of shit right now in my life im 18f senior in high school . i live with my mom still but lately her ways and her rules are getting to me (shes a bit abusive )and im overwhelmed with school work.my boyfriend who is 20 is a great guy i enjoy being around him he always makes me happy but im not sure if i can have him in my life right and im a virgin that is not planning on having sex now he knows im a virgin his not a virgin im afraid that i might have sex with him too early just for comfort.but i dont think i can deal with all that in my life right now should i break it off with him.
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Jesus Christ NO
HELL NO!
Are you kidding? Give up your best ally?
Yeah, your life is stressful. Thats no reason to run away from anything, including your own desires for sex.
So, you want to sleep with him and don't feel you're ready yet. Talk to him about that. Talk to him about the stress you're under. A fresh perspective, or even just someone to listen to could help.
Don't let chaos in your life bleed over and make other parts suck. You'd just be creating your own pool of misery. Instead, he is an escape. When you're going nuts, you can talk to him, or go hang out with him, and pretend the world doesn't exist for a little while.
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ADVICE
I dont feel you need to break up with him, he sounds like a really decent guy. I would talk to him and tell him what you just stated here. You might want to have a little space right now, but I see no reason why you should break up with him. If he knows you are a virgin and not ready and he is not pushing the issue he probably respects you more for your decision. I think you where wise in choosing to wait on having any kind of sexual relationship. Along with sexual relations comes alot of emotions and stress. Which I agree you might not be able to handle right now. I would just be honest with your boyfriend, I am sure he will understand. I see no need to hurt him over something that you are not even sure will happen. Just be clear with him on why you feel the way you do, and the reasons why you dont feel ready yet. If he cares for you he will understand, and be ok with it. I would do everything you can to hold onto a decent guy. You will find that their are alot of men out there who would not be so understanding or nice. I would be proud of the fact that you have found someone as special as him, and not be so fast to want to discard him. I think you and your boyfriend have a good thing going and you need him right now. Especially with the way your mother is acting. If you get to the point wear you are feeling weak and might make a mistake, you are not ready for. Just say to him your not ready and you need some space and time to think about things. As far as your mom goes, sit down and have an adult conversation with her. Face to face and tell her everything that is bothering you and why. Also remind her that you are an adult and you would like to be treated a little bit better, since you are no longer a little kid. She needs to see that confidence in you and understand that she has raised you to become a very intelligant and wise person. Its hard for a parent to admit their baby does not need or really want them around anymore. So have a heart to heart talk with her. Let her see the person you have become and not what she might be thinking you are. All this stress does not have to fall just on you. You can make your situation much more bareable once you have the confidance you need to do it. Also if your a little bit scard and you feel comforable enough with your boyfriend, have him their as a moderater. If it seems like you and your mother are getting to upset and emotions are flying, ask him to be the peace maker and keep things calm. Your mother will need to get to know him a little bit better, and this would be something good for all of you. Its a real adult way for it to be discussed. Maybe then your mother will have a differant view point all around. It takes guts and confidance to be that way, facing a problem head on. Its the best way to be with what life throws at you. Do this and you can do anything you set your mind to doing. I wish you the best of luck and keep me posted on how things are going, or if you have any more questions. Feel free to drop me a line in my inbox anytime.
Always remember take a deep breath and take it onedayatatime
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