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humorist-workshop
he;s older....
13/f
please just read and dont judge...
there is this guy, my neighbor, and well, he is REALLY hot. like, sexy hot. and my window faces his and i catch him looking at me sometimes. he's 17 (almost 18) and im 13. sometimes i purposely get dressed in front of my window, just so he can see a little skin. but, is that wrong? i actually have gotten to know him, and he is a really nice guy. so sometimes, he'll text me goodnight and tell me my pjs are really cute because he saw them through my window. so its not like im just falling for some guy i dont even know. but could i have a chance with him? when i walk home with his brother from school, sometimes i see him and he'll wink at me. am i crazy? because he is really cute and really nice and i think he likes me from the way he stares and texts me and winks at me. once he even bought me ice cream and coffee and was waiting for me on my porch when i got home. should i just forget about him becuse he is too old for me? or should i try to move it forward??
anny advice would be great! SORRYYY ITS SO LONG!
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aww how sweet , lets hope that he doesnt see you as a little sister or anything and lets hope his not seeing anyone ,or a player.try to get to know him better ask him how he sees you as and dont be down on yourself if he his not that into you and sees you as a friend because believe me theres guys everywhere you go .you will find a good one one day.theres one thing i have to say if he was to like you you might not be ready for a relationship with someone that old .his going to want sex his 18 he will want sexual activities DO NOT DO IT FOR HIS OWN GOOD.DO NOT LOSE YOUR INNOCENENTS AT THIS AGE. well, good luck.
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I don't think I could be much more eloquent than Rahzie has been.
But I'll try to give you some additional perspective.
First, the golden rule with men.
We have double standards. Dating, we can be incredibly picky, but if sex is held under our noses as a possibility we will do things we normally wouldn't to get laid.
In your example, in every day life, an 18 year old is not going to find your attractive for dating.
You are far too young. A 13 year old girl is not going to have much of anything in common with an 18 year old, you're going to be very different in maturity levels, even if he's on the younger side of 18 year olds.
The only thing in common you could have is sex, and thats what you've been flaunting in front of him.
Let me explain the flow of relationships.
Theres usually a get-to-know-you phase, physical intimacy, the end of the honeymoon phase and the beginnings of comfort with each other.
So, in a normal relationship, two people get to know each other. Lets say they date, text, call, hang out, whatever. They talk, and learn bit by bit about each other.
Eventually, as they grow closer, physical intimacy comes into it. Be it kissing, or leading into sex.
Then, we have the "honeymoon phase" where everyones in love, and its wonderful, and you don't fight, usually because you're both too much looking forward to touching each other to get pissed off at one another.
This period is usually marked by a severe lack in depth in the relationship. Not always, but often couples get so absorbed into physical intimacy that the actual development of the relationship stops.
You might have heard "love is blind" before? Its not, but people can be stupid when theyre too busy making out or fucking. Part of a long term relationship is learning the flaws in another person, and accepting them. When you're too into each other to notice each other's flaws, it stops the actual "getting to know each other" part.
This leads into the end of the honeymoon phase, where physical intimacy becomes the norm, and isnt "new and exciting", and is no longer enough to keep the inevitable issues a couple will have, back.
Lastly, we have comfort, as the couple learns to love each other for flaws as well as good points, and learn to communicate to solve problems together.
All of this points to sex not happening to soon.
Even if the guy IS interested in you, if sex enters the relationship too quickly thats what it becomes about for a good long while. Instead of wanting to know more about you, the guy is going to be thinking about how best to act so that he doesn't impede and encourages sexuality between the two of you.
So, for the next 1-6 months you interact and are around each other, and eventually the sex or whatever becomes normal and you have absolutely NOTHING else to base the relationship off of when you start annoying the crap out of one another and don't feel horny anymore.
The reason I bring all this up, at 13 you are at a disadvantage. You don't know what normal 18 year old dating expectations are, you arent that age. You have zero expectations of your own, because you haven't dated much. And you don't know what he wants with the exception of sex.
So, if you started dating him, what would you have in common? What would you talk about?
No offense intended, but the interests of the average 13 year old girl are usually things that make an 18 year old male want to blow his brains out.
All you've mentioned is "hes hot, and hes nice"
Yeah, hes nice. You've been stripping for him through the window. Any guy would be nice to a girl treating him to those views.
That being said, he could be arrested for it. That is a real, valid, credible threat to his safety. Stop doing what you're doing. Act like hes a friend and abandon all intentions for anything other than that for at least a few years more, you aren't ready for dating.
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Close your blinds before you get the poor guy arrested.
It’s not wrong to find this exciting or to be attracted to him, but what you are doing is VERY wrong.
Even though you want him to be looking, if his parents, or your parents, or your neighbors catch on to your little game of peeping-tom, he is deep shit of the 'police getting called' kind.
Even if you weren't a minor, he'd be in trouble. Since you ARE a minor, he'd be in BIG trouble.
There is a very good line from a movie that says 'Just because a girl looks like a woman, doesn't mean she is ready to do what a woman does.'
You are NOT ready to do what a woman does, ie, have sex with him. BUT when you take off your clothes for a guy, even a little bit, the message they get especially if they are an older guy is that you are ready to do those things. It’s not just ‘a little skin’ that is being enjoyed, it’s the anticipation of a whole lot more! He is not thinking what a cool and pretty girl you are, he is thinking about his next orgasm.
Does he like you? Maybe. Does he like that he thinks he might get to have sex with you? HELL YES. I don't like to rag on the guys, but seriously, if they think that there is a super slim chance they might get laid, they'll like you.
You aren’t ready for that. You shouldn’t be sending him the message that you are! Most importantly, that would be illegal for you two to have sex!
Close your blinds for six months, and he if he still talks to you in May, MAYBE he likes you as a person. But I’m afraid it’s far more likely, that he simply enjoys the fantasy that he might be able to get into your pants.
Can you imagine dating someone who was nine? No, probably not. What would you talk about? He probably can’t really imagine dating a thirteen year old either. The only difference between you and the nine-year-old, is that you are sexually attractive to him.
I’m a huge fan of taking on my clothing, and that is why I know that it is NO way to start a relationship. Close the blinds. And leave this alone for a while.
To figure out how old is too old, look up your state or country’s laws on Age of Consent.
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