Question Posted Thursday September 18 2008, 8:50 pm
I am 21 and a few months ago i became engaged to my boyfriend of several months. I went to college in another state where he was playing in the minor baseball league. My parents had never met him and when i called to tell them that not only had i met a guy but we were engaged they were pretty upset. The wedding is now 2 weeks away and my fiance and i are leaving tomorrow to go home for the wedding. (We decided to get married in my home town)Yesterday i found out that i am pregnant. I'm not sure if i should wait until after the wedding has happened before i tell my parents or tell them right away. They are very conservative and since they didn't take to well to me marrying someone they haven't met yet, i'm pretty sure they won't take it to well that i'm already pregnant.
My thought was to just wait and tell them that it happened on our honeymoon thinking that they would at least feel better about the fact that it happened after we were married. Any other ideas?
Here is my suggestion:
Wait until after the wedding to tell them.
You can either be flat honest and say it happened before the wedding, OR you can just tell them you're pregnant and let them draw their own conclusions.
But come on. Don't say "Oh it happened on the honeymoon..." Like I said, they deserve better than that. This is their grandchild you're talking about.
Razhie answered Friday September 19 2008, 12:51 am: Most doctors will actually recommend you don't tell anyone untill you are at least 2 months along... so unless you are much further then that, I think it's prefectly fair to let your parents deal with one major change at a time.
But don't lie to them. Babies have a set incubation period. Your parents could figure it out. Don't volunteer the information, but be honest if asked. They already feel out of the loop and confused, lying to them will not help things. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
DJzmAgUy426 answered Thursday September 18 2008, 10:44 pm: That's actually a good idea, though it depends how far along you are. You don't want them thinking your baby was born at 6 months when it was actually a healthy 9 month long pregnancy. A few weeks, maybe a month's difference isn't a big deal. If they're really that conservative and you feel they'd be ashamed, I wouldn't tell them until after you're married. At least it won't be such a hard blow when you're wed. It is your husband after all. Just try and avoid the "when did it happen?" questions, and stay away from any other sex questions such as "didn't you guys know you had to use a condom your first time?!", no matter how comfortable you are with them. From now on, it's your husband, your baby, and you, so you really won't have time to listen to strict parents. Anyway, I know that wasn't your question, but I just thought I'd leave some input. Good luck <3. [ DJzmAgUy426's advice column | Ask DJzmAgUy426 A Question ]
unluckychick answered Thursday September 18 2008, 10:36 pm: Not that I was ever in that sutuation but as much as I would feel bad about lying to everyone, I would wait until a week or so after the honeymoon to say something. You have the right to do whatever you choose but for your parents sake, I think it would be better to wait. Especially considering you never introduced them to the man their daughter is about to marry. [ unluckychick's advice column | Ask unluckychick A Question ]
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