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Getting Over Self Conscieness
I'm 16. I'm sexually active. I've been with 3 guys. I understand that I'm young, but thats not the point here.
I'm a chubby girl. I'm not exactly fat, but I do have a lot of pudge in my stomach area. Every other area of my body is fine except for my stomach, in my opinion.
When I'm having sex, I get really self conscious about my weight. That's why I refuse to be on top. I want the courage to be on top and to take control without being self conscious about my weight.
Besides losing weight, what are some things that I can do to feel more comfortable?
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i was the same exact way. i have all the fat on my tummy.. but my boyfriend reminds me that he loves me and he loves my body. if the guy that you're having sex with respectsyou enough, he won't judge your body. he'll accept you for who you are and make you feel beautiful, even when you don't think you are.
if you want to be on top, try it with your shirt on. i had to at first. gradually take baby steps. it may take a little while, but you need to be comfortable with yourself first.
you are beautiful, no matter what. belly fat or not.
hope i helped!
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Big girls or those with a few extra pounds are indeed beautiful. I bet that's how your partner views you if he truly loves you. Don't be afraid here. Let yourself go and trust him.
Nothing should stand in your way of enjoying yourself and trying something new. The other thing you may not have thought of is that he's equally as concerned as you are about his body.
He's probably worried about penis size and his own body and performance. Just relax here as you're with someone you love and trust and can let yourself go as he won't attack or be concerned about extra weight. If he didn't like you because of your weight he'd be long gone let alone not having sex with you.
If you want to be on top or in charge be on top or in charge as size is no reason not to. The only thing stopping you is you and your own fears which aren't justified. In the meantime you could also start exercising more, eating healthier and being active. That will flatten your stomach in due time.
It's evident that this guy loves you for you and not just for physical appearance. It's 100% normal for people these days to have a few extra pounds or be a little flabby. We all come in different stature and weights. Just relax and push yourself to gradually try new things here and get comfortable that way.
You should also talk to him about your weight and sex. Let him know what you're upset or scared about and work through this together until you're fully comfortable together.
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The columnist below me had some good points. I always used to hate my body. It got bad enough so that all I saw were the flaws, and didn't understand when guys liked me.
What you need to do, seriously, is stand in front of the mirror naked and make a list of at least ten things you love about your body. It can be anything from your figure to your toenails, big or small.
You even said every other area of your body is fine except for your stomach. So concentrate on what's good, not what's bad. When you're with a guy, I can almost guarantee that unless he's a perfectionist or a body builder, he's not gonna be staring at the little bit of pudge on your stomach. Guys don't think about that stuff when they're in bed, trust me. Also, leave the lights off at night. Then there's less focus on sight and more on sensation. Just a little helpful hint. ;)
-Siren
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Feeling comfortable about yourself takes a lot. Everyone has something they hate about theirself. It's normal. It's human. If you have sex with guys that you aren't dating and that you don't have a good connection with, you're always going to feel like your not good enough for them to look at you naked. When you find someone that you have been dating for a while, you grow comfortable around them. When someone cares about you, they care about you. Not what you look like or how much you weigh. It's all about being comfortable with yourself. You can never be comfortable with anyone looking at your body, if your not comfortable looking at your own body. Beauty is what's on the inside, not the out. If you always put yourself down, then others will see that too. Don't point out your flaws, point out all of your beautiful qualities. Trust me on this one. I've always been the one to hate my body and the way I look. I eventually grew comfortable with myself and my appearance. If you have good self-confidence, then others will think your beautiful too. Tell yourself that you're beautiful even when you feel ugly. Boost up your confidence by flaunting your better qualities. Not everyone cares about what you look like, sweetie. It's what inside that counts. As cheesy as it may sound, It's the god's honest truth. Hope I helped!
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