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sex soon!
So I'm about to have sex with my boyfriend who is 16. We have been dating for about a year. I am a f/15. We love eachother very much and I'm excited/nervous to do it; but, I am also very self conscious. I mean, I have hair in places, and pimples or white dots on my nipples? What do I do, they won't go away? Plus, I'm not even sure what to do when we are about to do it or attempting. HELP PLEASE.
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The white dots on your nipples are normal. Everyone has them. Everyone also has hair. That's normal too.
Of course you are exited/nervous. It's a very exiting and nerve wrecking thing. The main thing you need to understand is that your boyfriend loves you. He's not going to care if you have a few flaws on you. Everyone does. Just relax, and enjoy yourself.
Like someone below said, it's a learned behavior. The first time isn't going to go well, i'm sure. It will be awkward, but since you are both new to this, it will be a special experience to laugh about later. =]
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I'm sure the "white dots" you're talking about are montgomery glands. This is normal and a perfect example of why you need to empower yourself with knowledge about your body and how it works before you EVER think about having sex.
You cannot effectively prevent/treat/recognise pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases or basic feminine problems that can accompany sex (especially at your age) if you are not educated about your body.
It shocks me how so many of you young girls don't know the first thing about something as simple as your own anatomy but are jumping into bed with your boyfriends.
I would encourage you to take a trip down to your local planned parenthood for a rundown first. It would also benefit you to get on birthcontrol if you are not already. Do not tell me that you can't tell your mother you're having sex. If you want to make an adult decision, then you need to act like an adult and have an open and honest discussion with someone who can help you.
I'm not trying to talk down to you or ridicule your decision. I work in the medical field and I have seen COUNTLESS numbers of young girls just like you fall into problems they're simply too immature to deal with. I would personally advise you AGAINST having sex but if you choose to have sex anyway, please educate yourself and use protection every single time.
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As far as instructions, just go to google and input a search for "________ instructions" and you'll get a laundry list. Just put whatever sex act you want to learn about in the blank.
Some other things you should know.
- Condoms -
Condoms are your first line of defense. Against pregnancy, if nothing else. Use them. Every time.
Condoms should never be "double bagged" as they rub together and are actually hundreds of times more likely to break. One is always enough.
Condoms come in many forms. Look for ones that say "spermicidal lubricant" on the box.
Remember, EVERY TIME!
- Spermicides -
They come in many forms, I'll get to the one I suggest in a minute. Spermicide is your second line of defense against pregnancy. They come in many forms, but the purpose is the same. Kill the sperm. In the case that a condom breaks after he climaxes, a spermicide is a way to also prevent pregnancy.
VCF. Vaginal Contraceptive Film. They are sold in the condom section of any pharmacy, wal mart, etc.
Its a small film (square of plastic like material) that melts in the presence of moisture. You put it inside yourself, wait 15 minutes for it to dissolve completely, and you now have spermicide present in case of a condom break. Non Toxic, I discovered them years ago and have been using them with girlfriends ever since.
I suggest these. With proper use they have a stated about 86% effective rate in preventing what otherwise WOULD have been a pregnancy. Spermicidal lubricant on your condom + VCF = no missed periods (though NOTHING is 100%)
- Pregnancy -
It can happen on the first time. It can happen ANYTIME. If you are ever worried that you are, only a pregnancy test or a swelling belly will tell you for sure.
When you are worried, here is your timeframe.
You think you might be pregnant. Wait for your next period. If you miss your next period, wait a week from when it should have started and take a pregnancy test.
Take another one at a week, and another one a week after that.
If all three are negative, you can call your gyno, but 99% chance is you are not pregnant. My girlfriend has strangely erratic periods, it can be regular for months straight, then it will almost skip a month. She will freak out, take tests, and three weeks after it was supposed to start (or more) it will start and all her pregnancy tests will have been negative.
Oh, and if the first or second pregnancy test comes out positive, I recommend the third be in a gyno's office to make absolutely sure.
- Self Conciousness -
Rule 1. Guys are excited to see you naked. As long as you arent mauled or something, its like an explorer landing on a new continent. We get all giddy, and we couldn't give two shits what's actually there, because we're just stoked that WE'RE there.
Rule 2. Hes not going to notice or pay attention to or be turned off by most of the stuff you worry about. This includes all the things you are currently worrying about. This includes most things you might think up in the future.
Rule 3. Sex is a skill, and a learning process. Everyone was terrible at it once. Most people are terrible at it for a long, long time. Stop worrying about screwing it up. You will. Laugh about it, he's your boyfriend.
Just to give you an idea, I have more than once nailed my current girlfriend in the face with elbows, knees, or some other body part that caused fetal position curling pain on accident, and she's done the same. She even managed to head butt me once.
Neither of us is inexperienced. Shit happens. You laugh, sometimes it kills the mood, and you put in a movie and chuckle about it later.
::Edit::
It should be note, that I am not tacitly approving your decision. 15 is pretty young by most standards, including mine. If I were to advise you, it would be against having sex, simply because you can always have sex later.
But the information provided is a short crash course based on things like questions I see on this site every day. You should go to a website like coolnurse.com for more comprehensive information.
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Hair in "places" and pimples/white dots on the nipple are all common, normal, and harmless. There is nothing to be worried about, and I doubt your boyfriend will even notice dots on your nipples.
"Plus, I'm not even sure what to do when we are about to do it or attempting" sounds like you're looking for how-to advice, which Advicenators unfortunately doesn't allow. However, I can tell you to try to relax before/during sex, as you'll have a much harder time enjoying yourself if you're freaking out and nervous about what to do and such.
As always, be safe, etc etc
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In all honesty none of those things are
going to matter at all. They are all
normal. Worry about the important things.
Please look over this site for information
on birth control, STDs, and other things
you should know before you take on the responsibility of having sex. Please note
I am not saying "Don't do it!" Just be
responsible about it. Taking that step
could be a life altering experience if
you don't go into it informed. :)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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