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Teen Pregnancy + My Family = ???
Recently my judgement took a turn for the worst, and I had unprotected sex several times rather than wait for my boyfriend to get some condoms. And now, at the early age of fourteen, I might be pregnant.
This doesn't shock me because I knew what I was doing, but my parents will absolutely die! I've always been their perfect daughter. Really, I'm convinced they only like me because I bring "bragging rights" to the table. So I'm genuinely afraid for when I have to announce what will surely make them hate me.
And that's not even the half of it. What about my aunts, uncles, and grandfather, who are all more than a bit old-fashioned?
Most importantly, I worry for my younger cousins, who are all under 10 years old. They like sand castles on the beach, Hannah Montana, and animals. :) They have always looked up to me as a rolemodel, putting me first in front of their own mothers as the one who decides what they do and say. I was flattered before, that they would think so highly of me; now I'm worried of what they'll think when they see my stomach grow bigger and bigger and wonder why I, unmarried and still a kid, am having a baby. I don't want them to follow in my footsteps or, once they're older, be ashamed of me.
I know I could just have an abortion and put an end to all my worries. But I've decided to take responsibility for what I've done and raise my baby, with help from its father and perhaps my grandmother, who is a very understanding woman. :)
I don't want to lose my family. They're the most important thing in the world to me. But I don't know how to do this without them completely ignoring the fact that I was ever alive. Help? :(
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For 14yrs you sound like a very mature young lady. First off you heart is in the right place and by you doing the right thing you have to think more about yourself and your baby and less about how your realtives are going to think of you. Yes they're family, but they'll get over it. as far as your parents, they are your parents and always will be. at first its normal and only right for them to be upset and if they weren't I'd worry because that would probably mean they dont care but tell then when your ready because the sooner the better and the more time they have to accept what happened before the baby's born. And for your younger cousin's, they love you so they'll also understand. By the time they're old enough to understand that what you did was a mistake they would already undestand that mistakes happen. Good Luck
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YYou sound like a rational, caring person. That is quite an achievement, especially at fourteen.
That means your parents are probably not ogres. They'll accept you. Oh they will be angry and they might kick and scream for a while (and you should give them a bit of space to do so) but in the end, I bet good money they will be on your side.
As for your more distant relatives, they will be upset and disappointed too. They will probably grumble and gossip. However, when they are faced with your humble maturity and self-possession as well as the big beautiful eyes of a new family member, they’ll probably come around too.
And your cousins: Give them a bit more credit. Children have an incredible ability for understanding. Just tell them the truth. Tell them you made a mistake. Tell them it isn’t a great situation. Tell them you are going to do your best with the bad position you’ve put yourself and your family in. Tell them you hope they will make a better decision then you did. You can still be a great role model. They will understand. Children are not monkey-see monkey-do. When situations are explained properly, they learn properly.
All your concerns are good ones and real ones, but I think, based simply on the extremely mature and collected way you phrased this question, that your family members are probably not complete idiots. If they can meet you half-way, you will all be fine.
Give your family the space to be angry and disappointed. Give them the opportunity to be a bit distant and upset. You’ll wear them down with constant maturity and dedication. You’ll win them over with your dedication to be as mature and competent as possible.
Give them the chance, and listen to them very seriously, while they discuss options (including abortion and adoption, even if you have already decided against these things, you owe it to your parents to hear their opinions). Listen to how they perceive the new family unit functioning and be ready to do everything you can to met their expectations of you. You have a hard road ahead of you if you keep this child at your age. You absolutely must face it with humility and a complete openness and gratitude to your elders. No matter how competent you are, you still need them, and by you bringing a child into the world at your age, you have given another baby to raise. Remember that and respect it.
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first thing is first,
find out if you really are pregnant ..
once you have done that then your going to have to tell your parents, maybe you have a parent that your more close to if you do i would tell that one first to try to make it a bit easier and you have to understand that no matter what you have done your parents are not going to as you said "hate" you.. sure they may be disappointed and ashamed for a while but they won't you, the farther you are along in your pregnancy they will come to understand that yes it shouldn't have happened to you so young but is has, they will see that. Its really important for your health and the babies that as soon as you find out to schedule an appointment with a doctor, the longer you wait the worse your doing for your baby.
I understand you how your feeling about your whole family and finding out and you have to get that, yes I'm sure they will all be disappointed in you and in shock that your a fourteen year old and your pregnant but it won't always be like that you have to keep telling yourself they will get over it and see that whats done is done. As for your cousins I'm sure they will be confused about whats going on but when there at the right age and you think there mature then sit them down, tell them how you feel about how you made a mistake and you hope they won't do as you do. Once they see you at 14, having a baby and all the stuff your going to go through with being a teen mother, I'm sure they will understand what your talking about, how you don't want them going through what you are.
i hope i helped a little bit
goodluck, and don't worry things will get better!
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Wow k well you dont really have a choice you have to tell your family i know it will be hard but they will eventually find out so just tell them what happen im sure if your family truly loves you they will support you and as for your cousins you have to sit them down and tell them that they should never do this because you know what the consequences will be and before you worry about any of this you should make sure you are pregnant i hope i helped you good luck and feel free to ask me whatever else you need to.
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