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boyfriend
I need a lil help, this is the first time that i've had a Bf and he is allready saying that he loved me, and i dont feel the same i like being with him i am gust not in love. I dont know what to do i am taking a week to think alone, because we've been spending alot of time together. Its gust i dont know if i am ready to be in a relationship with someone, or if i like being single to much >_< i am so confused and the last thing i want to do is hurt him cuz he is really caring. i gust really need some help or advice because i know after this week i'm gonna tell him everything thats on my mind and how i feel... i gust dont know what the right this to do is.
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Ouch.
Sweet guys are also generally stupid. Especially sweet, somewhat relationship inexperienced guys.
He wants validation, he likes you alot and has no clue what love really is. Take it the way it really is. He likes you alot.
It sounds like you've been going out at least a few weeks. Talk to him. Be honest. Hell, tell him that you like him alot, but you don't think love comes that quickly. If he's coming on too strong, take your space and tell him why.
I'm kinda like you. I'm someone who likes their alone time and doesnt like being smothered. And you know what, Ive had a few relationships fizzle out because I told the girl point blank that she was trying to spend too much time with me. I like my relationships to be part of my life, not the whole thing.
If he's not compatible with that, then you might want to consider if he's what you want or need in a relationship. But I'll tell you, if you two ARENT compatible, then nothing will suck more than dancing around the issue for a few months or more because you don't want to hurt him before the break up inevitably comes.
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As a guy, what you have already said is what you should tell him personally in an understanding way.
I think he will appreciate your honesty more and will feel less rejected if you are completely sincere in your feelings about him as a compassionate human being who just is not ready for or are not really interested in his romantic involvement.
Now do NOT say this to him, but, this is like what I told my girlfiend when we talked about having sex... she was not interested and I was just curious about if our relatinship was going further, and so I said to her about her not wanting to, "We don't have to, I'm not saying I want you to, but when you're ready for doing it you'll know when that time comes, and I'm sure you'll let me know if you do want to. So let's don't change anything, I still love you either way."
Well, that is in reverse of what you should think about this guy... you're just not ready and I do not know how old you are, but regardless of whether or not you have a love interest or will have one, you do not need to hurry things. Falling in love is the same as "going all the way", FIRST THINGS FIRST!
First comes the friendship, then comes the closeness, then comes the romantic relationship. He may be rushing things out of ignorance or naivete, but we all make those mistakes starting out. Maybe he really likes you.. but ahhhh... not everyone is meant for everyone!
You can wait for the right guy, so long as you do not let the right guy just walk away without knowing you care for him. But then the tables might just turn on you too... some guy you really like may not have any interest in you at all.
So take your time and test the waters, and when the right guy comes along, then carefully and strategically advance your relationship. You can make choices! Life is a matter of making choices! You do not "have to" in many so many situations!!!!!!
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If you're uncomfortable in the relationship, end it. It's not fair to either of you if you're only staying with him to avoid hurt feelings. There's no way TO avoid hurt feelings.
If you don't want to end things with him, just talk to him about it. Explain to him that you DO like him, but you're just not IN LOVE.
People throw around the word love like it's nothing, and I'm glad you're not doing it.
-Laura (16-f)
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No one can tell you what to do, ultimately its your choice. It sounds like your just not ready to have a boyfriend and thats okay! Just tell him exactly what you told us here and he will understand. If he really loves you, he'll wait for when your ready to have a boyfriend. But for now, there is no reason you guys cant stay friends. Good luck sweetie, I hope I helped!!
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