Heey, my names Amber, Im 18 years old. I really love helping people, I want to be a therapist when I grow up. I have suffered from depression twice in my life and have pretty much been through it all. I like to think Im good at giving advice, especially when it relates with Mental Health or Relationships. Im such a people pleaser so Ill always be there when you need me. I think thats pretty much it, but yeah, I hope to be answering lots of questions and helping everyone along the way. So yeah, thats all, thank you!
Gender: Female
Location: New Hampshire
Age: 18
Member Since: August 11, 2008
Answers: 6
Last Update: August 18, 2008
Visitors: 1935
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ok so ive known my friend for my whole life pretty much! and now she wants me to change because she says im to full of myself cuz i say that im pretty but she can say it but im a terrible person if i do she also hate my bf and says that if i dont change and dump him no1 will like me anymore and she says that its friends before bf but i really like him and all! and i told her that im never changing for anybody and she says that im just really mean since im never gonna change! should i change and keep my friends or should i not change and have no friends but still have my bf! HELP! (link)
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Oh sweetie you shouldnt change yourself for anyone. If shes asking that of you, then shes not a good friend. I had a friend like her once, we were best friends since 2nd grade, and one time she told me she was trying out for soccer and I thought wouldnt it be just so much fun if we tried out together, but no, she got very mad at me and told me it was her thing and that I couldnt do it, and if I was a real friend I would just back off. I did and have regretted it. She definetally intimidated me and it wasnt fair of her to do that. And its not fair of your friend to make you change yourself for her. Friends love one another, and they dont make one another change for anything. Friends accept the others quirks no matter what and love them for all the good and bad stuff. And Im sure that if you dont change not everyone will shut you out and hate you. Shes just saying that to make you scared and let her change you. Its just my opinion but she doesnt sound like someone you need or want in your life right now. I know shes been your friend for like forever but believe me friends grow apart, and sometimes its for the better. Just tell her that you wont change but you still want to be friends. If she walks away, thats her choice and shes missing out on something great. Remember that. Good luck girl!
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hi,
my best friend dated a guy on and off for about six months. he's going away to college in the fall and he was away the whole summer so he kind of broke it off in june. then they started talking again a couple of weeks ago and decided they were both ready for sex. so they had sex this afternoon, and she came over tonight and was clearly upset that he's leaving.
i don't know what to say to her, because she's emotionally attached to him and he's leaving for college. he says he wants to see her when he's home from college for breaks, but she's been crying over his leaving and i don't know what to do.
any help?
thank you so much! (link)
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Be there for her always. Nothing you say will change the fact that hes going away to college. She needs to get over that on her own time. Just tell her that he will be back, he loves her, and that so do you, and that you will never leave. That you will be there for her whenever she needs to talk. She'll really appreciate that.
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I need a lil help, this is the first time that i've had a Bf and he is allready saying that he loved me, and i dont feel the same i like being with him i am gust not in love. I dont know what to do i am taking a week to think alone, because we've been spending alot of time together. Its gust i dont know if i am ready to be in a relationship with someone, or if i like being single to much >_< i am so confused and the last thing i want to do is hurt him cuz he is really caring. i gust really need some help or advice because i know after this week i'm gonna tell him everything thats on my mind and how i feel... i gust dont know what the right this to do is. (link)
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No one can tell you what to do, ultimately its your choice. It sounds like your just not ready to have a boyfriend and thats okay! Just tell him exactly what you told us here and he will understand. If he really loves you, he'll wait for when your ready to have a boyfriend. But for now, there is no reason you guys cant stay friends. Good luck sweetie, I hope I helped!!
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So I have had a thing with a guy for about 2 months now. We only hang out about once or twice a week. We have told eachother we like eachother and everything, but latley we have been talking less and less, and school is starting and we will be going to different schools. Hes a guy thats really hard to read and I know that he isnt the type to be a jerk or to use a girl, but I just don't know if he wants to date or just end this now as a summer fling, and I have no idea how to bring it up to him withought feeling stupid. (link)
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Sometimes with these questions you just have to come right out and ask him. Its hard, yeah, but it also gets you answers and thats what you want. Hes also probably waiting for you to ask, as you were waiting for him to ask, because know hes probably wondering the same thing. Just be like oh I know that we sorta liked eachother this year and stuff and I was wondering where you wanted to go from here? Or something like that. Good luck sweetie!!
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so this year it was my second year at a sleepaway camp. i loved this camp last summer, i had the best time of my life and i loved all of the people and made so many friends. this year a little bunk mixup happened and everyone blamed me for it because i requested two people that didnt request me. it didnt end well. before camp started, the bunks were back to normal and everything was good. on the first day i decided to swicth back into my old bunk, the one i was in last year. even though i was friends with the bunk i wanted to be in this summer. but they were ignoring me so i felt left out and switched to the bunk i was in last year. anyways, the whole summer i had a horrible time and cried every single day. no joke. so after a while i was fed up and was allowed to leave camp and come home. this happened a few days ago, august 8th actually. so now ive been home 3 days in a row because my friends are all busy. or at least they say they are. it really upsets me. i feel like my friends dont really like me anymore and i dont know why. this is the same feeling i had at camp. its not that people were mean to me at camp, i was just left out of everything. and it really hurt me because i thought these people were my friends. and i didnt know why they were doing it. i got home and texted all my friends to see if they could do anything and all of the replies said im sorry i cant :[ but i keep asking different people for different days and there ALL busy. i feel like the biggest loser ever. every year i go to long beach island near the end of august, and i NEVER ever have anyone to go with. no one. i always ask all my friends and they are always doing things. it really makes me sad. and i just feel like i dont have any friends anymore. i do have two best friends from my old school, but they are always busy. btw i forgot to mention i switched from private school into public school last year going into freshman year. it ws really hard for me because i can be really quiet at first. i had some in school friends but not that many outside friends. i lost two close friends i met last year. it was a hard year. this year im going into school feeling like i have no friends and im just so nervous. i dont know what to do anymore. its also embaressing becuase my sister who is going to be a senior has so many friends and shes always busy and so far ive done nothing ever since ive been home. i just wish i belonged somewhere. into a certain group or something. last year i had scattered friends, i was never in a group or anything. ive been having weird thoughts ever since the middle of camp, when i was having a really bad time. even now when i get upset i have these thoughts about like cutting myself or sometimes i think what it would be like if i killed myself. i dont think i ever will but sometimes i think about it. its really starting to worry me i dont know what to do anymore. and i cant tell anyone these things. help me (link)
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Oh sweetie, cutting or suicide is not the answer. Trust me. I was depressed throughout this year, and one night my mom and I had a huge fight, and I just felt so....sick of it all, that when I was in the bath, all I could think about was negative thoughts, like how much I hated myself, and I ended up cutting myself. Well, I got addicted to it, and it was bad, because I did try killing myself. It didnt work, obviously, cause Im still here, but I did have to go to therapy, and thats when they diagnosed me with depression. I dont think you have that but it does kind of sound like your in a slump or something. Im kind of in the same boat, as far as not having any friends to hang out with. Dont get me wrong, I have plenty of good friends and stuff, but they are also busy with work or family stuff, and yes, it stinks, but you just have to remind yourself that they dont hate you, there not mad at you, there just soo busy. Maybe you could try doing something yourself. Like play a sport or something....good luck sweetie, you'll be fine!!
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I feel sad all the time. Right when I think I'm having a good time, I just feel like crying. All the time I just want to cry.
Things just haven't gone the way I've wanted them to for so long and I just have this heavy weight of sadness on my shoulders. I can't even talk about it because I don't think anyone would want to hear it. My best friend and I talk all the time, but it's mostly about her. I help her through everything but can never tell her what's bothering me. I don't like to talk about it because I don't want her to leave me all alone like my other "friends" if she thinks I'm being stupid or selfish talking about myself. I don't want to be selfish.
I try so hard to be nice all the time and hardly speak my mind or bother people with how I feel because being nice is so important. But it's wearing me down. I keep everything inside and I don't think I could let it out because everyone would leave me again. Well, everyone that's left. It isn't fair, but I shouldn't say that. I don't want to complain because I don't want to come across as a brat.
I just want the sadness to go away. I just basically wallow in self-pity which isn't good and I know that. But I can't pull myself out of it. I don't know how to. I feel like such a bad person because I probably am. I'm trying to change things about myself so maybe I can feel better, but I'm never good enough. I'm so upset and I just want to stop crying all the time. But I can't. ='[ (link)
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Wow, word for word you are exactly like my best friend. She refuses to talk to me, even though Ive told her soo many times that I want to know so badly, because I hate seeing her sad. She doesnt know this, but when things bother her, they bother me to the point where Im in tears for her!! Another thing, is that shes such a bad liar. Shes all like Im fine whenever someone shows concern. But I know shes not. Im positive shes depressed. Shes certainly not herself. She used to care so much about everything, she was the most passionate person you would ever meet but something happened, I dont know what, but all the time now she mopes around and stuff, and its soo unhealthy, but anyways you sound sooo much like her, its scary, you probably have depression too. Take my advice, and talk to SOMEONE who cares about you and wants to help. Maybe a friend or a counselor or someone? Anyways, you would NOT be selfish to focus on yourself, if your like my friend, its everyones problems except yours, right? Its okay!! Your not a bad person, your not selfish, and your not a brat! Depression is sooo serious, talk to your parents, they can help. If not please please talk to somebody now!! My friends life has affected me soo much and Im so scared for her, if I cant help her, please let me help you!
BTW, I would want to listen to you, if I was your friend, Im listening to you right now arent I? If I didnt care, I wouldnt have answered your question. I care soo much more than you think. I know its hard to talk to someone. I had depression twice, and it took every last ounce of strength I had to tell someone I was depressed. I became better. It was because I was abused for three years, I didnt even remember, I blocked it all out. But I remember now, and Im soo happy I told someone. You cant deal with Depression by yourself. I tried, it doesnt work. If you want, you can talk to me. Im not a therapist, not by far, but you got to start somewhere, right?
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