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real relationship?
well i was just wondering how like everyone says that if you don't fight or have alot of bad times then its not a real relationship? but like i really like this guy, we're not technically dating but we both really like each other and i think he's gonna ask me out soon the next time we hang out, but we don't fight at all and we have so much fun together but we've never been in a fight yet. so my question is, is that normal? does it mean our relationship won't last because its not real? i kinda want a fight to come though because i want to see if he will still stay with me but i dont wanna like pick a fight, what should i do? thankss
16/f
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First things first: You aren't in a relationship yet. Don't waste your time worrying about the health of a relationship that hasn't even started yet!
The first little while is called the 'honeymoon period'. People rarely fight during that early time, they are too into eachother, just a child is into a new toy.
In six months, if you guys never disagree, then you have a problem. You don't have to 'fight' to have a healthy relationship, but you SHOULD disagree sometimes. A couple that never disagrees, doesn't really care about eachother enough to fight OR one of the members doesn't respect themself enough to voice thier opinion.
That is the real standard. You don't have to have a full on fight, but NOBODY agrees with someone else all the time unless they are in an unhealthy relationship.
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Just because you don't fight, doesn't mean you don't have a real relationship going. The only reason you wouldn't have a real relationship would be because you're not dating. It makes your relationship stronger if you don't fight, because that means you trust him and he shouldn't have to worry about what you think about him when he is gone too long. I just think you should start going out. And if you fight way to much, then maybe you should break up. And don't fight. It only makes things worse.
Hope I helped
xoxo
Askme537
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You don't have a real relationship because you don't fight, you don't have one because he hasn't asked you out yet! One step at a time =].
As for this fight business, no, creating a fight won't make it "real". Basically, the statement refers to how two people in a relationship who care about each other and spend enough time together usually will hurt each other in little ways without realizing it. Not that it's anyone's fault, but spending a lot of time with someone else with different ways of thinking and expressing themselves almost guarantees this. As these issues arise, there are three options: you pretend you aren't hurt, you break up with the other person, or you talk it out and deal with the problem.
Having a fight in this case doesn't have to be a fight in the traditional sense (you know, screaming, throwing furniture). Ideally, there will be some way of releasing the frustration in a loving way (ie. "It bugs me when you ________, and I feel like you don't care about me when you _______"). Ideally, there is enough communication so you have a little "fight", no one gets hurt, and you both learn how to deal with issues that come up in the relationship so no one gets hurt.
Right now you are getting along and happy and this is a GOOD thing. Eventually, though, if you date for long enough, you may find you have your little issues. Now, I don't recommend yelling at him, respectfully telling him is usually a better way, but you will find that the bumps in relationships do happen, and you can deal with them when they come.
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I don't think that because you don't fight alot, you don't have a lot of bad times, and you enjoy each other that you don't have a real relationship. Now if you have dated for at least 6 months and you haven't fought at all thats a little strange. Every couple has small little fights, thats just normal, but if you don't then don't worry about it. Some couples may not get into their first fight for a lot longer than another couple, it just depends on your relationship and the people involved in it.
Don't listen to the sayings and such, if you believe that you really like this guy and that you want to be in a real relationship with him, then go for it. It depends on the two people in the relationship and if they want it enough then I think more power to them and they may just be happy. So I say go for it, if you want to try this guy then go for it. Do what makes you happy and you will always be happy.
Hope I Helped.
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It's all a matter of personal opinion. I myself don't necessarily agree with it, but I don't completely disagree either.
It's kind of hard to explain how I feel about it, but I'm sure you wouldn't want to read my rambling anyways ;]
My best advice: If you're in a relationship and YOU are comfortable with it, don't let others opinions bother you. Don't pick fights just because they don't happen by themselves. If you're in a happy relationship, leave it that way.
-Laura. (16-f)
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I don't agree with the statement that if you don't argue or fight you don't have a real; relationship. If you get along well that's a GOOD thing, not a bad thing. However, if it's because you guys agree on everything, that could become a problem later on. Make sure you still have your own opinions, because it's okay to disagree on things. If you go out most likely you will get into an argument eventually, but probably not for awhile. It's fairly normal not to argue in the first few onths of meeting someone or being friends with someone, and sometimes even in the first few months of actually being in a relationship. I think your relationship could last just fine. =)
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