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intimidated


Question Posted Tuesday July 1 2008, 6:48 pm

In school im really shy and now that im starting high school i want to make some new friends but the problem is that i hate going up to people and talking to them, i feel awkward and out of place. It's like "hi" and then this long awkward silence, i get all intimidated and i don't know what to say or talk about. Can someone give me some starters on how to approach people and what to say.

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9BigBrat6 answered Wednesday July 2 2008, 2:56 pm:
i can totally realate to you here because i was painfully shy until the 8th grade and when i started high shcool i fewlt like it would start all over agian. it didn't and it only took a couple of tips...from here actually.

first of all, though it might be scarier to talk to the people who know you're shy than brand new people, you wouldn't believe how many people going with you to high school are worried about the same thing. if you sit next to someone you've known since you were 8, talk to them. nothing huge, you don't automatically have to dive into opinions and lifelong friendship, but you could just be like "hey, remember me? what's your schedule" etc.

secondly, utalize your close group of friends. there are more than likely kids that are more terrified than you, people move from other states and countries and they know less people than you. you and your friends can make friends with them.

third, don't be afraid of awkwardness with new
people. maybe you shouldn't start off with "hi." i mean, if you have algebra together, and you are totally thrown off by your teacher's expectations, you probably aren't the only one. look over to the kid next you (the oone with the same confused look) and talk to them about that! some other good ways to meet people are to join clubs oor sports, ones that you are interested in. then you already have things to talk about.

just remember, you aren't alone in the whole, new school, new poeple, new friends experience. everyone there is. just, be yourself and don't brush off people and they'll like you. but you should probably actually talk. don't worry. very few poeple look back on high school and say "i had no friends" that is much more common in middle school.you'll be fine. just be ourself!

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ElbowPuppet answered Wednesday July 2 2008, 11:57 am:
Ha, I'm starting highschool too. And trust me, I'm pretty intimidated as well. I used to be extremely shy, and I never knew what to say to people whenever I was around them. What I ended up having to do was thinking of 5 general things that I would want to know about a person before I decided whether or not they were friendly. These five general topics were:
name,
interests,
sports,
pets,
and teachers.
As shy and dorky as I was, I would actually write the letters, "N,I,S,P, and T" on each of the fingers on my left hand. (These letters: N-name, S-sports, I-interests, P-pets, and T-teachers)And when I was talking to people, I used the letters as a reminder of what to talk about. I'm not suggesting that, because in retrospect I wonder if anyone ever thought that it was strange that I occasionally looked at mysterious letters on my fingers during conversations, but all and all, it was beneficial. Haha.

Regardless, whenever I held a conversation with someone, I would start it by asking their name. There is a casual way to insert each of these 5 topics into a brief conversation. Such as,

Name: "Hey, I'm Erin, what's your name?"

Interests: "Today's going to be a long day.. I have chello lessons after school. What's going on for you?" Just talk about something that you do for a second, then just insert a related question.

Sports: "Do you play any sports?
(^^that one was pure genius... jk..)

Pets: First say something about a pet you have. Then just ask if they have one..

Teachers: Make a comment about some test or about your opinion of one teacher. I often realize that the biggest thing I have in common with most people is a like or dislike of certain teachers. And complaining about teachers is a great conversation starter.. "What'd you think of that test today?" etc.. haha.

The key is to remain calm and don't be intimidated. I found that much easier if I already knew what I wanted to talk about. My advice would be, set up a few things that you would want to know about someone, and then be prepared to work that into a conversation. Good luck, and enjoy being a freshie!!! [:

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Heyman answered Wednesday July 2 2008, 2:06 am:
Let me be the first to tell you that EVERYONE IS nervous going into freshman year. Everyone. period.

Let me preface my answer by saying that a few friends of mine actually told me they were extremely upset their first couple of weeks of high school because they felt too nervous to talk to anyone, and they thought they wouldn't make friends. They didn't want to be judged or ridiculed. If you feel this way, don't be alarmed your first weeks of high school. It is perfectly normal to gravitate towards old friends before you make new ones. Too high of expectations will ruin your high school experience so only expect to encounter change.

High school is all about being genuine. Making friends is easiest if you give a nice compliment to someone if you're in the bathroom, or in a lunch line, or in class. You'll naturally make new friends through other old friends. Regardless of any movies you've seen, the most popular people are not nasty people.

Despite your experiences in middle school, high school is a time where people couldn't care less about who you hang out with. If you have friends and are nice and approachable, then you will have a good experience. If you constantly sweat the little things, worry about making friends, act strange because you don't know what to say, try to be popular, I promise you will be sorry.

High school is all about being yourself. Striking up conversation is as easy as a compliment, talking about a teacher you and a person share in common, asking about homework, relating to other people through common interests such as sports.

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hbomb774 answered Wednesday July 2 2008, 1:06 am:
hi my name is... wanna be friends or

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