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break up.
what do you do when you broke up with someone you really loved, and really loved you, and you miss them like crazy and would do anything to have them back and for things to be the same again, but you finally just had enough of the BS after chance after chance after chance, and you know it's for the best to not be with them, because the relationship has changed so much and all you do is fight about the same things over and over, but you [both] just want those good times back soo bad, you can't stand it. how do you deal ?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Get them back.
Sure the bs is a lot but you know that you love this
person and that they obviously love you. If you are still talking like you normally did but holding back feelings still. If you think it's honestly time to break it then do it. Although you say you love this certain person and would go through anything just to have those days where you laid outside and held each other close or looked in the eyes of one another. Went to the park, etc. Don't let them slip from you because anything is possible. Change your attitudes and if that doesn't work again maybe it could be time. Try to have a full good day then at the end get together and end it well.
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couples counseling isn't just for the married. check with your reverend, pastor, etc if you go to church. they tend to make excellent mediators. but, you both have to be willing to work at the relationship. you need to find where the seperation started the first time before you have a chance the second time around. good luck.
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well if you really think its for the best to break up and your trying to get over them even though you really do love him it will take awhile, what i usually do is get it out of my system listen to really sad songs watch sad movies cry alot and i do that for a couple days..then i go out with my friends as much as possible if his name comes up in the conversation try not to talk about him try not to think about him and soon it will be easier and easier..but if you want to still try and make your relationship work because you think its worth it talk to him about how your feeling calmly and maybe you guys can work it out that way but if you feel like its hopeless then you should try your best to move on even though i know how hard it is..good luck! xo
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The long answer is a conglomeration of acceptance and finding peace within yourself, take time to learn to love yourself again... all that self-help jazz that sells so well in Barnes & Noble.
The short version, the version that has worked for me time and time again, is to just stop talking to each other. As long as you see each other the bond will stay strong and the pain will ache in your chest forever. The cut off is a more abrupt pain that eases itself with time.
The romantic answer is that you two really seem to love each other and that love can overcome anything. That's true, love can overcome anything, including death, but the problem with that is how much pain are you willing to go through to prove that point? If you are, wonderful, but the rest of us have to learn to deal.
Right now I'm playing the romantic solution out... and it's killing me on the inside. How much pain will I go through to get those old times back? To make life work perfectly again, jsut like it used to? I don't know. How much am I willing to sacrifice and try? As much as it takes.
You have to pick which option you want... ease it off, rip it off, or never let go....
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DAMN! When you broke up with this person, you loved them then; however the reason(s) behind breaking up weighed more than the love. The reasons you broke up with this person are still a factor and will not change unless they are ready to change, and change takes time. - you said chance after chance after chance -
This person is used to you taking them back and already knows that you are missing them and thinking of taking them back right now. I hate it when they get this comfortable because it shows a certain arrogance, which causes them to do the same thing over and over again because you are going to give them chance and chance and chance again. I know! Hell, I did it for 17 damn long years but guess what? I learned from it.
You already know that BS is also a factor in the relationship, since you called it out. Look, Shi* is Shi*, doesn't matter if it's horse shi*, dog shi*, pig shi* or bs, it's still Shi* and it all stinks, you feel me?
Relationships change as people change, some change for better, some for worst. Sounds like the change went from good times to bad times, which reflects personal change for worst.
Are you sure you really love this person or is it lust or are you lonely and aren't used to being alone? This leads us back to the same ole' BS in a relationship that we already know is going to fail and not work! real talk.
Here it is: Ask yourself this, are you battling your heart, mind, soul, and spirit because they aren't in agreement? one says take him back, one says let him go, one says "this is the last time and I promise that the next time, he does this or that, it's over!". I already know cause I did it too, hell!
How do you deal? You don't. Take some time out for you and your mental being. Arguing and fighting takes you steps back if you can't build from it and grow. You have developed a pattern, a cycle which reflects in break up, make up, break up, make up. So, at what point do you get tired of dealing? real talk
After you take this time for self, don't contact him (even calling privately and hanging up)- no contact, he will contact you. Decide on what you really want in your life? If you are thinking of changing him, stop it. Decide what you really want to make you happy not content but happy.
Don't listen to your heart, it can break.
Don't listen to your mind, it can be wasted.
Don't listen to your physical because it gets weak.
LISTEN TO YOUR SOUL. It's yours, God and Satan both want it, so that's powerful!.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
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