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Shutting People Out. Expecially The Close Ones.
We all here are probably in school, or out of school but we have all atended it. I'm that girl that's not good looking but have friends of both genders. I hear Im very bubbly, and outgoing. But at home Im the complete oppisite. I think I am suffering from depression, I just dont have the guts to tell my parents about it.
I do not get along with my Father at all. We can't have a decent conversation EVER. And my Moms never home, but when she is she's never listening. Anyway, during the past 9 months I haven't slept over anyones house. I hate my home but I have the oppurtunity to leave, but say something like O my Mom wont let me, or Babysetting sorry. And sometimes I get all excited and be like Yehh and ask and everything but right before be like Nooo I shouldn't and lie about why I can't. I dont know why... at school Im happy and sometimes forget about something that happiended at Home. But at home, it's like facing a concrete wall that goes on for miles. And I waste my tiem trying to see thru it.
I feel like im shutting everyone out... and im not trying to. I donno if its because Im scared or what. But tomarrow is the begining of summer and Im going over Skyes house. I a, kinda second guessing myself tho but i want plans for the summer.
Can you explain to me why I am shutting people out? How I can stop... and how do I get the corage to talk to my Mother about possibly being Depressed and how do Doctors find out?
Do they like check ur brain or something? I have no clue[obviously.]
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I read your question and had to go into deep thought in order to reach deeply to answer you.
I went throught this before. I didn't realize that I was doing this until someone brought it to my attention. There are things that you have mentioned that kind of hurt me on your behalf.
First: what's the definition of good looking and not good looking? You are a human with life and ability to breathe, you are a person with feelings and are very mature to first identify what you are going through and then seek help by asking the question. You are a beautiful person and everyone on this earth is beautiful and just because they may not realize it, they are. Beauty is internal not external. Please don't think negatively about yourself. This is the first thing that is bothering you and hurting you. To reverse this train of thought the first step to healing, and change (it's about loving who you are).
You asked, how can you stop? this means you are ready for change, and that you are doing it for yourself, your life, your happiness and your future! PAT yourself on the back. Which leads to the second process of change: Admitting, Acknowleding and Accepting who you are and knowing that you are ready for this change and you're doing for you and no one else! "great job, I am proud of you for this"
You have identified some reasons of why you are depressed and you have pointed out when and why you get depressed also. So, because ALL of it points back to home, it must be addressed at home. Always take it back to root of it, to the beginning in order to get the end of it. Some call it: STARTING OVER, OR STARTING FRESH OR A NEW BEGINNING. So, let's go there for a moment:
Ask yourself: Do you want a better relationship with your mom and dad? I think that you do, and aren't sure of where to begin. Please sit down and ask your parents to sit with you. TURN OFF the television. So many families are drowning out the meaning of family time with television & internet. Families must talk and communicate about joys, pains, conflicts, joys, successes, accomplishments and failures too.
Tell your mom that you want more time with her. There are things you need to turn to her for and she isn't there when you need her. Explain to her the way it makes you feel to reach out to air without her hand there to grab yours and guide you.
Tell your dad that you and he have communicational issues with is causing a huge gap in your life, and internally it hurts you and is beginning to show on your outter by you shutting everyone off.
It is important to go places and mingle with teens your age. A social life is a necessity for happiness in life. Don't look at this as running away from problems, look at it as taking some time out for self.
I am not claiming your depression on your behalf, I instead am claiming your victory over it, that you aren't depressed, you are longing for parental love, attention, guidance and family structure. Upon saying this, hanging out with your friends are temporary pacification to you because it isn't what you are really in need of or missing within your life. You are feeling no maternal bond from your mom or paternal bond from your dad. Both are important to mental stability as teens become adults. It has a huge factor and influence on your mental feelings.
You aren't scared, you are confused,lost and hurt. Without your parents interacting with you as you expect and desire as well as deserve, you have built up a wall of defense due to hurt and you aren't letting anyone in, so this wall must be torn down. It's confirmed because you have used the word concrete wall and the wall you are facing is the wall you are building sweet heart.
It must be addressed and demolished soon so that you don't continue carrying this with you as your life ages. The longer you hold on to it, the wider and taller that wall grows.
I am not recommending that you talk to a doctor about being depressed, until you and your family has had family counseling. Upon doing this, the counselor will deem it a necessity or not to treat depression, by sending you to another type of counselor or physician. They will talk to you and do an analysis based on what you say to them. They will also give you some activities to do in order to measure your responsiveness.
Mentally, you're associating home with chaos, drama, lonliness, abandonment,lack of communication, etc. which mentally causes you to shut down and react the way you do once you are going to it,entering it and most likely even just thinking of it. Home is supposed to be your safe place, your peace of mind.
If more is going on that you don't wish to disclose on this site,pertaining to home you may email me at sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
In the meanwhile, I am encouraging you to absorb positivity, read books dealing with motivation of self. Write a list of things down that you want to do this summer with friends first, and family next and set goals to do these things. I will continue praying for you as I have already done before I even answered your question.
PLEASE know that I am here for you and you can talk to me. I will help you and if I can't, I know someone who can and he's only a prayer a way!
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First of all, you're not weird. I do the same thing and I know people who do, too, especially the whole thing about plans. That being said, counseling really will help a lot. I groaned and moaned, thought it would be horrible...it helps tons. It might be hard, but try talking to your parents about it. I don't know how to tell you how to, but if it's easier leave a note or something.
Good luck!
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Ok well first I have suffered from depression and hunni you got it. It is nothing to be ashamed of so just be brave and say hey mom I have something to talk to you about and no it cant wait it is an emergency. Then sit her down and tell her what is going on. Tell her you think you need to see a counceller and get the help you need. No lol they dont check your brain they listen to what you say and then they have you put on a medication that will defiantlly help you out. You dont want to mess with this stuff hunni get the help you need. And if you ever and I mean EVER get the slightest feeling that you want to commit suicide even if it is at 3 am go straight to your parents and tell them you need to be sent to the phsyc ward. I beed there twice nothing to be afraid of it is actually fun and they work with you on your problems. If no one is home dial 911 and tell them and they will be out ammideatliy if not sooner. Dont mess with this depression is a life death thing even if you dont think it can be. If its something you really need to talk about email me and i will give you my number and i will talk to you so you can see what to do even if its late k my email is loveyabunchesmls@aol.com i am always on so dont be afraid just email saying hi regarding advice and your name and i will give it to you k. dont let it get to far please here are crisis numbers they are free so if you cant get ahold of me call this asap
USA National Suicide Hotlines
Toll-Free / 24 hours / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-TALK
1-800-273-8255
TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
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