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trust
im a female and im 15
ok well i kinda cheated on my boyfriend. what can i do to get his trust back that i will never do it again?
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TRUST is earned, not just given. Once it has been given and betrayed or deceived, it takes A LONG time to gain it back. It takes doing things differently than you used to do. It takes spending more time with him, it takes talking more, it takes communication. It takes telling him why you did it and it takes more than claiming not to do it again, it takes telling him why you won't do it again. It also takes understanding as to why he doesn't trust you, and patience to know that he isn't going to trust you for a really long time.
Offer him space to heal if he feels that he wants it. If he doesn't then he is willing to work through it. Ask what it is that you can do to start helping him re-build his trust in you. I wish that you didn't do it, but you did it but at least you learned from it and you have a conscious from doing it.
It also depends on how he find out about it: Were you mature enough to tell him or were you a coward and didn't tell him which led to someone else telling him or did he investigate you and find out on his own? I am asking because that also plays a role.
If you told him yourself, then you have a chance at restoring your relationship and trust levels. If you didn't tell him and he found out, then I doubt if he ever trusts you again - because not only was trust destroyed, you manipulated him (if you didn't tell him yourself)which would make it questionable as to if your apology was sincere and you most likely won't do it again or if you apologized and were sorry for getting caught - if that's the case, he thinks you will do it again most def. See the differences?
Hurt is a hell of a thing, but healing is a bigger thing and you both need to heal as the relationship has been wounded, regardless of who did it, the bigger picture is healing those wounds and to stop the bleeding for good not temporarily.
Good Luck and next time you are in a situation as they will come, please think of him, his feelings, your feelings afterwards and the hurt it causes - stop the pattern now so that it doesn't become a habit or challenge of interest.
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truthfully without being sentimental and an ass
I highly doubt you'll get it back. If so he'll maybe want some revenge. Possibly if you tell him and make sure circumstances are right then he may just blow it off after time if he really wants to be with you.
It'll play out so keep your head up.
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I would like to tell you his side of the story, because right now I, too, am in his position.
He has a girlfriend that he cares about. I do not know how long you two have been going out for, but since you two are together, he cares about you in some way, shape, or form. He most likely trusted you a lot, because you cannot have a relationship without trust.
One day, he learned that the girlfriend that he trusted and cared a lot about, decided to cheat on him. He does not know why at the time, and he does not know how. All he knows is that he feels like crap, and feels as if he is not good enough to satisfy you.
The trust you had? Gone. That is THE hardest thing to ask for is trust, and forgiveness. I will tell you right now it is easier to forgive than to forget. Whenever he sees you now, all he may think about is you kissing this other guy; you holding this other guy that is not him.
I say this to you because my boyfriend cheated on me two weeks ago, so I know what your boyfriend is currently going through. I do not trust him in the least at the moment, but I decided to give him another chance and see how it turns out. I will tell you right now things have not been the same since. Whenever I see him, all I think about is him kissing this girl that is not me, when he claims that he cares for me deeply. Everything that comes from his mouth seems like a lie, and I ask him constantly what is going on.
Basically, you need to be totally honest with him about everything. Where you are going, who you are hanging out with. Pretty much like your mother. This is only, if he decides to forgive you and give you another chance.
If he decides to give you another shot, you need to treat him like there is no one else around. If, however, he decides to drop you, do not be surprised or upset, because (sorry to be so blunt) it is your fault and you need to except the consequences of your actions. Things might not be the same afterwards, but hopefully everything will fall back into place.
I wish you luck, and I hope he does forgive you.
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Well, let me just tell you now, it's not going to be easy.
First, you need to apologize, obviously. Just one time [don't badger him with a millions meaningless apologies] Just one right now. A sincere, from the heart apology.
Then, you need to give him some time and space. Don't be all over him about it. Just let him have some time to think about it, and for lack of better wording, let everything sick in.
Then, talk to him about it. Wait until it seems like things have cooled down until you do this, though. Explain to him why you did it, why you think he should forgive you, and that it was a mistake. Be honest with him, there's no point in lying anymore and hurting him again.
Finally, you need to let him make this decision. DON'T try pressuring him into forgiving you, or playing the guilt card. Let him make up his own mind. Cheating it terrible, and you have to pay for your actions =[
-Laura. (16-f)
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