Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


need advice


Question Posted Saturday June 14 2008, 10:45 pm

im engaged to a woman who just doesnt like my 9 year old son. she has told me she doesnt like him and shows very little affection towards him. what should i do?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


Razhie answered Sunday June 15 2008, 9:11 am:
Not marry her.

Or at very least, seek pre-martial counseling where you can talk about your roles in the marriage, your expectation AND your parenting togeather.

Like it or not, she is going to have a huge influence on your son's life if you two get married and move in togeather. That influence should NOT be of a women who 'doesn't like' him, but of a mature and loving adult who has room in her heart for you AND your son. If she isn't that kind of woman, you are making a mistake in marrying her.

[ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question
]




VeNzUeLa answered Sunday June 15 2008, 9:04 am:
Talk to her!! Tel her your son is the MOST important thing and so is she, make sure you make her feel like she is loved too, and you are not picking your son over her, because she will feel like you don't love her. Talk to her softly, like a heart-to-heart talk when you're alone. Tell her you love her and you REALLY want to be with her, but if she can't TRY and love your son then it won't be fair to the both of you, you and your fiancee. Let her understand the situation you're in. If she truly loves you, she willtry get along with your son, just for you! Just because you are worth it!

Ask Venzuela

[ VeNzUeLa's advice column | Ask VeNzUeLa A Question
]



lucinders answered Sunday June 15 2008, 6:58 am:
get rid of her. your son should be the most important thing, and i'm pretty sure he is other wise you wouldn't be worrying about your fiance, so do the right thing!!!! when you have a child you instantly become a package deal!

[ lucinders's advice column | Ask lucinders A Question
]



ellegirl606 answered Sunday June 15 2008, 5:09 am:
Your son should come first. He is your family and blood. I don't want mean to cast ill will on your marriage, but she may not stick around forever. However, your son, will.

I wouldn't trust her around him, either. Who knows what may happen behind closed doors between the two of them. She could physically or verbally abuse or neglect him. Even if she doesn't do that, him realizing that she doesn't like him will cause serious problems, and he will hate you for it. I know.

I understand that he isn't her son and that may be why she doesn't show love to him, but she has to accept that marrying you includes marrying your son (not like that, but you know what I mean). I'm sorry, but I don't know what kind of person hates a child.

Anyways, you need to MAKE her understand that she must accept him. That doesn't mean he has to call her mommy, but she needs to be some sort of mother figure in his life. If she can't accept that, then I'm sorry, but she isn't the right woman for you.

I am serious about putting your child first. You can't be selfish. I can personally speak for children whose parents put their own needs first. You don't want to be that kind of parent.

Best wishes.

[ ellegirl606's advice column | Ask ellegirl606 A Question
]



animelove answered Sunday June 15 2008, 1:34 am:
fuck that tell her to try to get along w/ him!!!>:O other wise dnt marry her!!! look your probly an old guy that knows much more than me but theres something i do know and that is i know how it feels2 have a step parent that doesnt love you...it sucks it makes you feel sad depressed and the lowest of the low...so tell this woman to build a more affectionate relationship w/ your son or leave her besides whos more important her? your 9year lod son or that woman? well thats all i can tell you and think hard!!! this is no joke your a grown man you should now by now right from wrong...>:/


14 girl ayux...

[ animelove's advice column | Ask animelove A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: ferret buddy!!
Next Question >>> a random song

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker