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my friend needs help
my friend gave a blowjob to one of her good old friend and she has a boyfriend. He kinda of pressured her into doing it and she wasnt going to. She really regrets and feels bad. What should she do?
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I hate that DOWN LOW SHI* - She wasn't worried about it when she did it, and so NOW, she has to UNDO it, seriously or her conscious is going to eat her up-
She must tell her boyfriend, because it's going to get out- it is best to be big enough to admit wrong, and deal with it. Ask her boyfriend for forgiveness and tell him that she will never dog him again.
I am going to suggest that she learn to respect herself more too. The guy that she did that too has NO respect for her at all, he didn't respect her to even ask her or pressure her to do it, and he has less than that now that she did it. Tell her that she has to be stronger and not let some knuckle head boy get into her head which means she needs to work on her mind level.. real talk.
She and her boyfriend may break up but if they do, then that's the risk she took by doing this. If they are tighter than that, then he will understand and forgive her -I wouldn't count on it. But its best that she tell him so that he can respect her honesty. not telling him is being more deceitful on top of manipulative. I hope that they both realize that they have some work to do on their relationship and had work to do before she did that since she was able to go on and do that not wanting to do it. ALSO there is a difference is pressure and force.
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If she said NO and was FORCED to do it than that's considered to be assault. He could get charged for that. If she was pressured and didn't really consent to it she has nothing to feel guilty over and was taken advantage of.
She should tell (as hard as it will be) an adult she trusts or her parents that this kid forced her to perform a sexual act on him against her will. if that's the truth (I don't doubt her story) adults will make sure the boy is punished.
Should she tell her boyfriend? It's really up to her to do so on her own at the right time or not at all. If this will destroy her relationship with him or earn her the reputation of someone who is promiscuous all over school keep details to herself unless adults intervene to levy punishment to the boy in question.
I'm saying this simply because she's not a cheater, was taken advantage of and not guilty because she didn't consent. She can keep details to herself knowing that A) it will never happen again B) it was against my will/pressured and C) she shouldn't feel bad based on the circumstances.
If she trusts her boyfriend completely and decides to tell him and knows it won't destroy anything she has than okay tell him but for now only tell adults what happened and seek their advice in dealing with it as it is assault of a sexual nature if at any time she said NO and was pressured and made to do it.
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How many people know?
I think that she should keep it on the DL (down low.) This can really ruin her and her boyfriends relationship. She never wanted to do it, but she did. It will be really hard to explain this to her boyfriend, so she shouldn't tell him.
If this wasn't enough and you want more advice, just drop the question in my inbox.
-E
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