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THREESOMES
well where do i begin, back in 1995 my wife thought that i was cheating on her because i would have cybersex when the internet first cranked up. so she got real close to a co-worker of mine and they started playing a game on me and after about 2 years i was watching my friend/co-worker literaly dating right in front of my eyes. i was the third wheel. ok he was married also, but i felt the tension so strong between them that one night we all got drunk and had a male,male,female threesome. But the deal was before we did this was that one day i get my turn back with a female,female, and me threesome. Ok i held up to my part of the bargin but she doesn't want to hold up to hers. i have suggested ideas and people to return the favor but she tells me that it's not going to happen she made a mistake. why is she doing this and why won't she let me do what she did? i don't want to be 90 when she dicides to let me have my turn at the fun i let her have. i don't think my relationship is fair at this point and she says, sorry life isn't fair. what can i do.
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She is allowed to change her mind about threesomes.
You are allowed to be dissapointed about that and feel unfairly treated.
At this point you have three possible paths:
One: Get some marital counseling to deal with the issues of distrust and infidelity in your marriage.
Two: Cheat on her. Maybe hire two nice sex trade workers to fufil your fantasy for you.
Three: Divorce her.
You can do any of those things, in any order you would like.
You CAN'T blame her for going after what she wanted and for now standing up for what she believes and what she wants.
She is taking care of herself and being responsible for her own happiness.
You have to take care of YOURSELF and go after what you want. She isn't responsible for deciding to let you have fun, she isn't responsible for your behavoir and she isn't responsble for your happiness. You are.
If you really want a threesome that badly, then you either need to betray her, or divorce her.
If you want to make your marriage work, you need to forgive her, and she needs to forgive you and you two need some serious counseling to help make that a reality.
Stop blaming her. Take control of your own life and make some damn choices. This situation is not all her fault. If you want things to change, start changing.
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She's right, life isn't fair, but you shouldn't trade in wrongs. It is one thing when you go into a relationship with someone and you both want to be swingers, or what ever "alternative life style" you wish to call it, but you two entered into this under false pretenses. This was about vengeance for a perceived wrong.
My best childhood friend was seeing another women behind his wifes back, she found out. As revenge, she found another guy to and got her revenge. He was fine with this, as long as he didn't know about the details if you will. This was not enough for her, she wanted him to suffer, which was not in this guys nature. She flaunted him in front of him, not caring a thing about her kids seeing this, revenge is a double edged sword as they say. They ended up divorced, big surprise.
Your wife is still exacting her pound of flesh and it seems you have so little flesh left. You married this women and you didn't know she was like this? Pretty poor planing on your part I'd say. Poor guy, she got it all and what did you get, the same old thing. You did nothing but talk on the internet and masturbate, who got the prize here?
You didn't mention kids, but I think it's best that you two kids are hopefully not trying to raise kids, because you are sure going to screw them up too.
This is what happens to a relationship when you don't really know your partner, but then, it's probably to late for me to be telling you that.
Good luck, but I'm not betting with you guys to make it, but if there is a pool against you guys making it, I'm in.
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Wow.
Ok, first of all, you are both idiots.
Anyone who has ever had a decent open relationship would tell you that the WORST thing you can do is bring someone else into your sex life when your marriage isnt sound, and most especially on any kind of condition.
A threesome is something that should only ever be approached as a mutual desire, regardless of the makeup. Bringing in another guy because you want a shot at having another girl was stupid. And someone your age should have enough sense to realize that a woman's emotions are fickle and that you had an 85% chance of having this happen when she decided she wasnt into having another girl. Something like this only works when everyone in the situation wants everyone else.
You arent going to have a threesome with her and another girl. Shes not going to come around, and its not as if you can force this.
Basically, from an outside perspective, you're both a little screwed up. You're both willing to compromise the other person's mental well being to achieve your own sexual desires. A relationship with that as a basis...
Seek marriage counseling. As in, stop reading this now, and google for marriage counselors in your area.
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Don't ask us, ask your wife.
Possible reasons could be that your wife would be self conscious of various things, from her body to her performance. Although it's easier for a woman to be dominated by two men, it's not so easy to be 'one of the women' in a threesome. What if the other woman's skinnier, prettier, has larger breasts. What if you decide to date this girl in front of your wife's eyes? She could be jealous, yeah, but even more nervous. It's obvious that the decision to have the first threesome should've been made sober, but since it wasn't... well, this probably isn't a very nice logic, but why not try it again? For God's sake, don't push anything on her, but ask your wife that if it could happen, would she let it.
Communication is key in any relationship. No one knows your wife better than you do. [:
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