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so many problems with my boyfriend
i have a ton of problems with my boyfriend. i want to fix them so badley, because i love him so much, but i really just dont know what to do. i guess ill just list the problems...and go from there..
1. jelousy. alot of girls like him and talk to him and all that stuff, and when hes just talking to them to be friendly, i cant help but feel like he likes them, or is starting to like them. or he could be cheating on me with them or something like that. he promises to me that he dosent like them, and that he would never cheat on me.
2. i feel like he still likes his ex girlfriends. just the way that he acts around them, and the fact that he makes fun of them, makes me feel like hes trying to hide the fact that he still likes them.
3. i feel like hes lying to me that his parents like me. cause, they wont ever let us hang out for more than 2 or 3 hours, and hes only spent time at my house once, out of the 6 months we've been dating. like yesterday, i got free tickets for the new narnia movie, and when it was time for him to go home, he realized that his parents werent home, my mom invited him over to our house. and when we got home there was a message on our answering machine from his dad saying that the back door was unlocked and all of that. and so he called his dad back, and once his parents heard that he was over at our house, they imediately came over and picked him up. we dont have a shitty house, we have a nicer house than they do, so i know that they dont think that he wont be safe here. i dont know what it is. its like they hate me. they dont act like it though, their always like " hi shelby, how are you" and always very nice to me, but it serioulsy seems like they do.
4. i feel like sometimes he dosent listen to me while were talking, because well be talking about something, and then ill say something, and he;ll be like " what are you talking about" either he's not listening to me, or hes just stupid.
5. i get really mad when he chooses to hang out with his friends over me. beacuse, hes canceled so many dates on me to hang out with his friends. so, the days that he hangs out with his friends, he could be spending them with me making up for the dates he's canceled. which REALLY pisses me off that he does that.
i've thought about breaking up with him, and i told him that, and he FREAKED OUT. he started hypervenolating(sp?) and cried. so i know that he loves me, but i just dont know what to do about all of this!!
please help me!!!
thanks for all your help
14/f
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GOD.. you have problems girly, so lets go through them one by one..
to start with, let me just say, your only 14, you dont need to act like your married to the guy :)
1. Jealousy! - this is definatley the killer bug of all realtionships. your only yonug, you shouldnt be jealousy. your BF wouldnt be with you if he liked other people. if you feel jealous, tell him, tell him why, & resolve things. dont let it stay in your head because its nots good for you. you will just get yourself worked up and paranoid about things when you dont need to. you should be happy a lot of girls like him because YOU have got him, and you KNOW hes good looking...
2. EX'S - face it darlin, everyone has an EX. and they may always share something with them, e.g. first love, first kisss. DONT YOU? dont worry about ex's, you have the boy now, not them!
3. PARENTS - at your age, parents dont matter. no one gives a damn about parents. your young, live your life. they may just not want him to grow up yet.. in a sexual way... if they think hes at yours along time they may feel like he may be doin things such as sexual activity .. dont worry about them.. they are just concerened for there son as you are both young and are in a big relationship.
4 LISTENING - what boys do listen? boys dont listen. they play games, eat & fart. thats it. dont worry about it. you have your friends to listen to you :)
5. FRIENDS - as you are so young, you both need time apart to be with your friends. you should never ditch your plans with your friends to be with him, or vice versa. you need your friends to get through life socially. dont let love take over your life
Hope this has helpd..believe in yourself
remember, im always here to help sweetie
:)
good luck
x
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Don't try so hard for something thats not going to work out. I mean, I know you really like him but is he really worth it? Give it another try and try to work things out with him. Sit down and talk to him about everything you just listed about to us.
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1. Within time, the jealousy will fade out. He picked YOU to be his girlfriend - not them. He is free to talk to whoever he likes - it does not mean he likes them more than a friend.
Believe him when he says he won't do anything to hurt you and don't let your paranoia and insecurities get the better of you.
2. They are his EX GIRLFRIENDS for a reason. Need I say more? I can guarantee most people aren't comfortable with their partners being around their ex gf's/bf's, but it's life. and you will just have to learn to trust him. That will also happen within time - promise.
3. This is an issue with his parents - not you. Maybe they are a little over protective - but they have a right to be since you are still young. As he gets older, they will be more relaxed and won't be worried about what you're getting up to behind their backs. It's just them being the average parents, really. Stop thinking they hate you, too. You're their sons girlfriend and you have done nothing wrong.
4. Maybe he genuinely doesn't understand what you're getting at. Next time he does it, ask him why he said it. Communication is the key!
5. He needs to learn to ration out his time. If he has made plans with you first, he has to stick to them. If he made plans with his friends first, it's rude to bail out on them for you, even if you are his girlfriend. Let this be known to him.
Relationships NEED communication in order to work. Talk about anything that's bothering you and don't be afraid to say it. It can only bring you closer and make things work with one another.
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