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preparing for sex
ok..so i'm planning on having sex with my bf for the first time soon
i want to know if there is anything i should do before i go over and do it.
i have no idea weather to shave a certain way?
what guys like down there?
or anything like that
my biggest fear is that we will finally have sex
and he will be disappointed in me
and if i do shave what happens if i cut myself or have razor burn
will he think thats gross?
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i would deffinately shave, buy a new razor that you haven't used yet and lather up your pubic area or whatever and shave in a downwards motion, the same way your hair grows. and then after your done if you put vaseline or any antibiotic ointmint kindof stuff like neosporin on the area that you shaved and this will generall prevent razor burn.
he won't be disappointed in you, trust me it's your first time he won't be expecting you to be amazing at having sex so don't worry i was the same way and now it's not awkward or anything to have sex. and if you think he would be disappointed is you after you have sex then that's just lame... good luck, hope i helped!
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Considering this is your first time having sex with him, I think he will be pretty into you no matter what. Maybe after you have sex you can talk about what to do, like shave or whatever. Some guys care about it, but others don't. It really depends on the guy. I have never known a guy, however, to turn down sex or be disappointed because of that.
Make sure you have protection when you decide to do it. It also maybe helpful to know both of your sexual backgrounds. Be safe in all manners.
I'm sure things will go great, especially if you both really care about one another.
Hope I Helped.
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ok well since its your first time having sex with this guy, im sure he is going to be into it to much to even care about "razor burn or if you cut yourself" most guys shave to.. so im sure its happen to him before so i dont think he will care, and he definitely wont be disappointed in you for that.
but if your really worried about it, make sure its a clean new razor your using and a lot of shaving creme to avoid razor burn sometimes after shaving if you put a little tinny bit of lotion on it the helps with razor burn also.. for styles of shaving um most guys i know like it at least trimmed, it doesnt have to be a certain way whatever your comfortable with. like me i shave it all before i have sex, it really depends on what you want to do, or you can ask your partner what he prefers.
hope that helped.
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Really, preparing for sex is not only physically but also mentally. You need to be 100% aware of your actions and their consequences.
It's really in your best interest to research everything there is about sex before deciding to jump into it. If you're well-informed you won't be caught off-guard and, hopefully, won't be put into an awkward position.
Now, I completely understand that it's your life, your body, your decision, and possibly even your mistake; however, I am a bit worried that you are asking such questions on Advicenators when you should be asking your partner. This alone may prove to be a very vulnerable point of you and you really need to work on it.
You need to communicate clearly to your partner and have get just as informed as you are. It's likely you haven't discussed EVERYTHING you should have since you are asking about a guy's hair preference that only he can really answer. Your partner is the only one that can tell you what HE likes.
Not asking your partner really concerns me a lot. I'm very worried for your well-being and am afraid you haven't taken the proper time to educate yourself on some matter that need to be considered. Any way it is, I thought it might be best to include some information and links below about/to things you haven't really given enough thought to. Please get yourself completely informed.
You need to really think about if you truly do want to lose you virginity to this guy. Your virginity is a one-time deal and after you lose it you won't be able to take it back no matter what. It's a special gift you can offer someone and it really should be cherished. That being said, you may want to wait until you and your boyfriend are able to wed.
I say this because married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of love--to save yourself for that special day, for that special person. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
The media is telling younger and younger generations that sexual activity makes them famous, popular, attractive, wealthy, well-liked, and feel-good. This is not true at all and if you and your partner aren't educated enough about sexual activity then it's pretty much a waste of time and can leave you with emotional insecurities.
Having sexual relations is a major thing. It puts you in a very vulnerable state. You are risking STD/STI transmission and possibly pregnancy along with emotional, physical, and mental hang-ups to develop.
Just because your hormones and the media are telling you to do it, it doesn't mean it's right and acceptable. Your virginity (in all ways) should be a very valuable thing that should be cherished. Once you engage in sexual activity, you cannot take it back. If something bad happens, things get out of hand, or you catch something from the activity you cannot magically pretend it didn't happen. We should make it a special point to choose careful who we give it to.
Here is a list of 25 reasons why you really shouldn't engage in sexual activity/lose your virginity. I understand that you may be dead set on engaging in sexual activities but it's still something interesting to read and to think about (even after you have sex):
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Then there is always the point about pregnancy. No matter what birth control method you use (even if you use two) it isn't going to be 100% effective on preventing pregnancy and STD/STI transmission. A baby takes a lot from a woman's body during pregnancy and if your body isn't mature enough to handle it, it can really be rough. In addition, if you don't have good support from your partner then you're left holding all of the bags. You'll have to figure out what to do with the baby, decide if you can raise it and how, and give up any future goals you have so that you can focus on the child. A baby takes 100% of your time, energy, money, and emotional support 100% of the time.
It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
Here are some facts you want to consider on pregnancy:
"...you thought the home pregnancy test was expensive! The costs of raising a baby to age 18 costs between $125,000-$250,000 and that's not including college tuition! In your baby's first year alone, you can easily spend between $9,000-$11,000..."
"...childcare can cost as much as $3,000-$4,500 in your baby's first year, not to mention the higher insurance premium for adding an additional person."
"Don't forget about the delivery! It easily costs between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery and much more if there are complications."
"...plan on spending between $1,600-$2,300 by the time your baby is potty-trained. Expect your baby to go through at least 7-8 diapers a day on average and spending $80-$130 a month on diapers alone (especially in the first few months, when changes are more frequent.)"
"For formula (up until your baby is one-year-old), expect to spend between $1,000-$2,300- depending on whether you use powder in a can or ready-to-pour liquids. Plan on spending at least $40 a week on infant formula."
...taken from:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you completely infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. This means that many mothers pass on things to their unborn babies. I'm sure none of us would like to find out 20 years from now that we had contracted HIV/AIDs and that our baby has it too now because we passed it along.
Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently:
"More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.
The estimated total number of people living in the US with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. Every year, there are at least 19 million new cases of STDs/STIs, some of which are curable.
More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.
In a national survey of US physicians, fewer than one-third routinely screened patients for STDs/STIs.
Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS.
Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.
One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.
About half of all new STDs/STIs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. The total estimated costs of these nine million new cases of these STDs/STIs was $6.5 billion, with HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) accounting for 90% of the total burden." (just as a side note: the Gardasil vaccine only helps prevent 4 strains of HPV--there are over a hundred strains.)
...and it goes on! Right here...
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos). It's important that you check these photos out so that you know what STDs can do to a person's body, just in case you experience problems in this area:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. You're, most likely, young and should be enjoying your youth rather than trying to make major life-altering decisions. There are plenty of things to do that you can be having fun at that doesn't mean risking your health and emotional state.
If you honestly want to make it a good experience then you need to talk to him about it first and get his side of everything. Open up and talk to your partner. Research some of the list I listed above with him. Make sure he is well-informed too!
Again, please get you and your partner completely informed before jumping into such acts. I also hope that you become more open with him and are able to communicate any thoughts you're having about the matter. Your partner is the first you need to come to when it's about his preference--he is the only one that can really tell you what he likes.
I hope that you become more knowledgeable and we won't see you here in a few months, in fear of a pregnancy or STD.
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Okay, calm down first up. If you're that worried maybe you should try talking to one of your responsible friends or better yet one of your parents to see if they aprove of what you're doing. As far as shaving goes if you feel that you are that harry you should ask one of your friends to help you. If it turns out that he is disapointed in the sex then that makes him a manhore and he isn't the right guy for you. My last piece of advice is that if you are this worried about sex maybe you aren't ready for it yet. Don't feel pressured to have it. Sex is something that should be cherished not rushed. I also hope you are of age to be having sex and are on the pill and/or using a condom. You should be more worried on having safe sex not how great it is.
Thanks and remember to come back for more advice.
volunteergirl
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First off, you need to be sure you're mentally ready for this sort of thing. It tends to stem attachment, and that can be really hard when things end [[and they will]].
Your boy will more than likely just be happy with the fact he's with you. If you make sure you're on bottom he can't be disappointed because he does all the work.
It's not a requirement to shave... ya know, but most guys know what to expect when a girl does. It's not gonna be perfect... but to avoid such things as cuts and razor burn, use thick shaving cream and go slow, then apply lotion.
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