Should i tell my friend the truth or will it ruin our friend
Question Posted Wednesday March 5 2008, 12:16 pm
One of my best friends is in the relationship i think is bad.He is going with a 16 year old girl whom he tells people 18 or 19. He is 22. First of all when he is around our friends he says things about her like "that b!@#$...." or "she's so stupid" But around her its "hey baby or sweetie" At the same time she has on her profile that she loves him very much but wishes he loved her the same. Just last night they were talking on the phone when he says here talk to (me) I froze I didn't want to talk to her. Dont get me wrong shes a sweet girl and all. I just don't think that they are right for each other. I don't want to say the wrong thing and ruin our great friendship.
What with his name-calling and dismissive phone-passing, he likely already knows it.
'Great Friendships' should be based in honesty and mutal respect. That means respecting him enough to tell him that his relationship might not be exactly legal and certainly doesn't seem healthy. It means respecting his right to be in the relationship anyways. Finally, it means he ought to respect your opinion, even if he doesn't share.
You aren't doing him, or her, or yourself, any favors by not at least saying 'Dude, do you really wanna be with this girl at all?' [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
MissxJacky answered Wednesday March 5 2008, 3:54 pm: Ooh, so your best friend is going out with a youngin?
Hm.
Well, if he calls her bad names behind her back, I think that's pretty rude, he seems pretty two faced in my opinion.
If I were to tell you my honest opinion, I'd say that the relationship isn't right because of him, from what I'm hearing that's he's calling her.
But I don't know the details, so I can't really give a suggestive answer like that.
I'm just saying.
But, if you want to be honest and let him know you don't think the relationship is going right, go for it.
It can't hurt.
If he gets pissed, that's his deal.
There's no reason why he should, just explain to him why you think that.
I hope I helped! xx [ MissxJacky's advice column | Ask MissxJacky A Question ]
Brandi_S answered Wednesday March 5 2008, 3:44 pm: Well, there is a way to go about showing your concern about this relationship without outright saying you don't thing they are right for each other.
He may tell his friends she's 18 or 19, but she isn't. She is only 16. Jail bait. He could be charged with statutory rape. Then he will have it on his permanent record that he is a sex offender. Not good.
At least, that's the route I'd go if I were in your place.
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