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I know how immature this story is going to sound, but...
Sorry for the length, but thanks in advance to anyone who answers.
Here's some background info: This year, they spilt up the districts for the school that I go to. They sent half of them, which includes three of my best frineds since first grade, to the new school & the other half, which includes me & my other best friend (Nicole) since fifth grade. & at the new school, my best friend since fifth grade's boyfriend, Kyle, is also there. They've been going out for a year & for some reason think they're going to get married. & this whole week, Nicole's been acting sad & refused to tell me why.
So, I came home yesterday & Nicole called me saying that she needed to talk to me. I was all prepared for her to say her & Kyle broke up, & I was ready to go drive over to her house to comfort her. But then she says, "My parents transferred me." I started crying as soon as I realized what she was talking about. The thing is, when one of my friends asked her if it was her decision, she said yes. Then she told me it was all her parents decision. I haven't yelled at her or anything that most people would do. I've just cried. First of all, I don't enjoy knowing that my best friend doesn't give a crap about me & just flat out ditched me without caring. She keeps bragging about how much fun the other school's going to be also. Second, she lied to me for a whole entire week & won't take the responsibility for anything. Third, she went & complained to one of my other "best friends" that she thought I was mad at her. Then, to make a long story short, the girl who she complained to calls me & yells at me for no reason. I guess it's cause she thought I was mad? Anyways, everytime I'd try to stick up for myself, she told me to shut up. So eventually, I just stopped talking. That's what shut up means, right? So then she starts telling me what a horrible friend I am for being upset & that Nicole is the only one who has the right to be upset. THEN, she tells me that I'm stupid for not talking. & that was after she had just told me to shut up. I'm pretty sure it's just because she wants another friend at her school & doesn't care if I get ditched. I have't stuck up for myself at all while the two of my friends have been telling me all of this crap & how horrible I am. On the other hand, one of my best friends is actually on my side, & trying to help me through everything. I just keep telling Nicole I'm not mad because I don't want to upset her, but I've been crying for about two days now.
My question is, well, what in the world is wrong with my "best friends?" Am I handling this the right way? Do I have a right to be upset?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It's okay that you are upset, but no, you aren't handling this the right way.
If she is your friend, give her the benift of the doubt about her lying to you about choosing the other school. Maybe she really did choose it, but you don't know for sure and it isn't nice to assume the worst in people.
It's also not okay for you to tell her you aren't mad when you are. She's not an idiot. Clearly she knows you are mad.
People can, and will be, mean to you in life. They will misunderstand and treat you badly, but the best thing you can do it be respectful honest (and for goodness sake, if anyone ever yells at you on the phone the correct response "Call me back when you can speak calmly" and hang up on them.)
I would suggest you try telling Nicole simply thing "I'm really hurt and upset that you are leaving me behind and you don't seem to care." and see what her response is. She might be upset as well and just trying to hide it to keep from feeling guilty. Or she might be a mega bitch. You wont know until you calmly bring it up.
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Uhmm, sweetie, you aren't the one being a bad friend here, she is. A true friend doesn't do that to someone they care about, including a "best friend", you do have a right to be upset. But seeing as you had tried to talk to her, my advice is to just stop hanging out with her, and be the the best friend that has helped you and has taken your side. Of course, that doesn't mean just hang out with her, hang out with all the girls, just not Nicole.
If she comes up to you, or lies again, just explain calmly that she has been a bad friend, and if she tells you to shut up, don't take it. Sometimes you can't do anything about someone when they are hurting you that bad and they don't seem to care. I've been having similar happen to my best friend.
What Nicole is doing, it may hurt, but just keep telling yourself this. It isn't your fault, and you aren't being a bad friend. She is the one being a bad friend. I don't know what is wrong with her, except that maybe she is upset about moving. You could ask her this, but just don't let her push you around, that is just wrong of her.
I wish you the best of luck, and if you need anymore help, just tell me your email in the comment thing, and I'll be glad to help you some more. I hoped I helped! =D
~Vera
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