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my dad
my dad dosent live with me. and i just sent him an email saying that i didnt want to see him anymore. before you say i did something wrong, let me tell you everything that he has done.
1. when i was 4 months old, he ran out on me and my mom and went and lived with another woman.
2. hes cheated on my mom so many times that she cant even remember.
3. hes very disrespecful to my family, espessially to my mother.
4. he treats my sister like crap.
5. im the youngest out of 4 kids, and he has 2 kids with another woman(his ex wife) and he pays their FULL childsupport, and we only get half, or sometimes way less than we are suppost too.
6.he sleeps with wemon who are 10 years younger than him.
7. he dosent know how to act around people.
8. him and my mom dont get along(of course)and everytime that it comes close for me to seeing him,my mom gets pissed, and she dosent talk to me for days.
so, anyway, i sent him that email saying that i didnt want to see him anymore. is it a bad thing that i sent him that email, and i dont feel bad about it??
-13/f
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i think later in your life you might miss your dad, you might feel liek you could have helped him act more proper or be more understanding about your feelings. but as of now if you cant help and you dont know what to do the best thing to do is take time away from someone like that. time will tell.
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i don't know your life story or anything but, i hate to say that you probably can't make that decision for yourself.
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I'm getting major deja vu reading this...I was in almost the same exact situation in 8th grade. My dad left when I was about 13, but that's the only difference. New family, everything.
I did the same thing...I sent him several very, very nasty emails, and eventually he stopped responding. However, I was forced into court-ordered visits and had to deal with him. I love my stepmom and half-brothers (it was hard, because at first I wanted to hate them so much) and learned to deal with him. (Things have totally changed now, but that's a whole nother story).
What I'm trying to tell you...in a few years, that email won't make a difference. It's good that you expressed your feelings and were honest with him, and it's okay to not feel bad. Don't worry about it. Things will always work out.
And please, for your sake, stay out of the parent drama. I've been there and it's absolutely horrible. Believe me when I say you really have no way of knowing everyone that's going on...so even though it's very easy to hate people, try not to take sides.
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If you don't want to see your Dad because of his behavior, no, it's not a bad thing.
It's certainly not a great thing, but it's a tough choice and you need to make the one you think is best.
You should definitely talk about this choice with your mother. As you are a minor, your father has certain rights to visit you, whether he pays all his child support or not.
Just remember that it isn't your job to 'punish' him for the way he treats your mom. You don't have to side with her automatically. She is supposed to take care of you and your feelings. It isn’t your job to take care of hers. She’s an adult. She needs to deal with the man she made a baby with not mater how much she doesn’t like it.
Keep your mind and heart open too him, not because he deserves it, but because you owe it to yourself to give him the benefit of the doubt. Even if you choose not to see him much, if at all, don't loose all contact. You are a bit young to cut a parent out of your life completely. I would recommend you have a relationship with your father, just do it on your own terms. Stick to the odd e-mail, phone call and maybe going out to dinner. Stick with what you can handle comfortably.
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i havent seen my father in a long time and i dont want to see him and he didnt do half this stuff to me. so i say, if you dont feel bad about it.. then dont worry about it anymore. he is obviously a jerk. forget about him, he deff. doesnt care and no one deserves any of that. all you are doing by sending that letter is respecting yourself. i say good job cuz i have a hard time telling my father i dont want to see him and i am 16 and have tried for many years.
power to you!
=]Ashleigh
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