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Is this wrong?
Okay, I needed somewhere to vent this out, and I need advice. So I thought advicenators would be perfect! Sorry if this is long!!
Okay, well, about a year ago this guy was stalking me really badly. He had it baaaad for me, but I would never like him. He hated that, so he started stalking me. He also did crazy stuff, like if he said something to me I didn't like, and I'd tell him to go away he said he would ring my school and say I did all this crap I didn't. He even got so psycho that when he said he was in love with me, and I said I didn't like him like that he said he would ring my mum and tell her I was dating a guy 6 years older than me over the internet (Which I wasn't)
Anyway, it's over now and I'm glad so don't feel sorry for me.
Throughout the 'friendship' with this guy, he hated my best friend. He always called her ugly and an attention seeker (the last bit is true, I know it's horrible to say that about her but she lied 5 times about her dad dying) but recently they became friends (after he pretended to like her) now, if any guy even talks to her, she'll instantly fall in love with them. So this guy was pretending to like her and she fell head over heels. He told her to hate me, and she did it. We didn't talk for a few weeks. But even before this, she was a bit narky with me because of mine and his' history. She would constantly blog saying I'm a bitch, I need to get over the feud with him and she hated the fact I could probably still get him with a click of my fingers.
Anyway, I started talking to her again and she told me how controlling he was (When he used to stalk me I knew straight away he's going to be a wife basher) and she didn't like it. I told her that's how it started with me, and she needs to be extra cautious and get him out of her life. She then emailed him saying she was in contact with me (didn't say anything rude, just casually I was friends with her again) and he told her he would never speak to her again.
Then she tells me about all this crazy stuff he said to her. But she doesn't just tell me...she BRAGS about it. As if she's proud some guy was saying weird stuff to her. Then she brags about how he's stalking her. I told her he wasn't, because he hadn't said anything about calling her parents/school like he did with me, and didn't look up her address. She got angry at me. Like I was ruining her dream? Then she told me he was stalking her.
But it made me feel sick. She's bragging about something that made me live in constant fear for half a year. Something that made me feel so low. She's acting as if it'd something to be prided about.
And now, it gets worse. She thinks she's better than me, cos he said some effed up things to her. Like he wants to get her pregnant and stuff like that. Now, I'll let you know he said some stuff like that to me. It even got worse than that. But I'm pretty much a feminist and I told him if he wants to say those things to go to a chatroom and not say it to me, so he stopped because he didn't want to be blocked. But being the idiot she is, she thinks it's cute he wants her, and she even wrote in her LiveJournal she sort of regrets talking to me again, and doesn't understand why I hate him, and was implying I'm a bitch.
Anyway, sorry for the longness of that but I want you to understand the full story before answering.
Well, the question is, I sort of understand why I'm so pissed, but why am I so angry? It's not jealousy, but I'm really angry. Shouldn't I be scared for her? Or proud she isn't talking to him?
Also, what do I say to her to stop her bragging, it's not something to be bragging about? I don't care about her feelings if she doesn't care about mine, but I don't want her to blow up and block me and say she wasn't bragging. I want her to understand being stalked is terrible, and it's something you don't want to happen in your life.
And last, how can I get over this anger? I don't want to be angry at her. But I can't help it =\
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If i where you i would drop her as a friend. Bragging about the worst possible thing that you could be bragging about thinking it will make you feel bad what kind of friend does that. And the name calling thats not a true friend. If you keep being her friend your past most likely will come back. If it does tell somebody (parent, teacher or anybody that can help)you don't have to live like that. Best of luck
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Wow...wow. Okay, whoa. She likes being "stalked" by this guy? Wow, that is jacked up. If I were you, I would be pissed off for a number of reasons, one being that she's making it like a challenge or an "I'm better than you" contest. Which is pretty much borderline crazy ass psycho. And you're also probably pissed because she is trying to "one up you" by telling you all of the sick things he is saying to her, which is bringing back horrible memories for you. It seems like she almost wants you to feel that pain again.
which is INSANE. Another reason you are pissed may be because you are really confused as to why she is bragging about this stalker...and also that you are frustrated because she won't listen to you when you tell her how dangerous this guy is. And if she thinks that those dirty things he says to her is "cute" that is just distgusting and she is the defintion of a cry for attention.
The reason why you're not scared for her or proud that she isn't talking to him is because your fed up with her rubbing something so disgusting in your face and you also told her how dangerous this guy is, so you warned her, she is just choosing not to listen, so you don't want to listen. All of this anger towards her is making you forget that she is a person, yes a wierd crazy girl who likes the attention this stalker is giving her, but a person nonetheless in danger.
And about the bragging part and how you want her to stop, tell her something like, "Okay look, I get it. You're bragging to me about how this guy is stalking to you, and I warned you that this guy is dangerous and major trouble, but you won't listen to me. And I really, truly, do not want to hear about what he says to you and his threats because it makes me sick. It was terrible when he stalked me and I don't understand how you can like that, and I don't want to know about it anymore. And if you have forgotten, I was stalked by him too, and I would like to forget about it, so just please, PLEASE, stop bragging to me about him." Or another solution would be to just forget her and ignore her. This is her choice to endanger her life, not yours.
If you want to get over your anger, you need to tell her to stop this, to stop it now. Maybe to even stop talking to you altogether, because you just got over his stalking and the memories of that horrible time in you life are coming back, and who wants that?
Good luck...it'll get better I promise.
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