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Friend who lies about being married
Ok so I have this friend who I go to the Bar with, and we are both married to Navy guys... our husbands are on different boats hers is a surface ship and mine is on a sub any ways her husbands boat rarely goes out and my husband is gone all the time... We were going to an employee party and we were shopping for gifts to give our secret pal. well i noticed that she didn't have her wedding ring on and i was like wheres your wedding ring? Shes like oh i left it at home because it was bugging me i was like oh ok so she then explained that her ring gets buggy to her a lot and its a really nice ring i mean really pretty but hey thats her.. So we are at the bar and i only had one drink because i'm not really big on getting drunk only every now and then .... well there was a guy there who was from another boat and she kept going you should ask him if you can play pool with him.... i told her no because i'm not there to seek guy friends and i'm not about leading them on ... well about an hour later since we work at the resturant connected to the bar i went to get a cup of soda because the bar was gonna close and i spotted a guy friend of mine who my husband has met and doesn't mine and so i was talking to him.... she came u and was like omg she is totally into you and thinks you are hott i was like ok i'm not gonna lie you are cute but you hes like well thats nice ... she was getting pretty ticked at how he was taking it and she adds in and see you guys should hook up you guys are talking and laughing and we both told her look its called casual conversation. So she adds in look see that guy over there (the guy from earlier) i told him i wasn't married so he would buy me drinks and i was like umm ok so eventually we all got bored and wanted to go somewhere else and i guess the guy was getting touchy feeley and she didn't like it so was complaining to me and my friend and she was like you have to do something and we told her sorry you screwed upand if she was that worried about it why did she keep holding his hand and and sitting by him well the night ended and he asked for her number and gave her a dollar to write it on and she put my number.Its not like this is the only time she says she isn't married i mean like evry other night she goes out without her husband and with out her ring starting at like 6pm and doesn't come home till like 8 am the next day. I have a bad experience with a lot of people because when i hang out with them i get the same reputation and i am no way near being like her i love my husband and if i talk to guys at the bar i make sure they know i am married right off the bat, but how do i talk to her and let her know how i feel, and i think whats shes doing about taking the ring off and lying about her husband is wrong without ruining our friendship. I know her relationship isn't my business but i'm afraid that some night shes gonna get mixed with the wrong guy and hes gonna figure out she lied to him and somethings gonna happen to her?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Look at it this way: marriage vows are among the most sacred, most important promises we make to another human being (and that applies whether one is married in a church under God, or in front of a judge with the legally required two witnesses). If she's so cavalier about this kind of promise, how can you trust her in any other way?
I'd confront her, and tell her flat out that you think she's doing wrong. It may not be your business how she treats her husband, but it is relevant to your friendship that she is trustworthy. Furthermore, she has no business handing out YOUR number. She chose to get you involved, and it is your place to now say that you won't allow her it include you in her lies.
Insofar as whether you should tell her husband, I wouldn't, because then it's her word against yours - and he is far more likely to believe his wife. Here's what I'd do - if someone calls your number looking for her, give that person the correct number. Then, let her try to explain why strange men keep calling.
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First of all I find this really wrong.
Just tell her straight out she needs to know the truth. Just think if your husband did this to you. Wouldn't you want his friend to say something to him and not let it go. Just tell her. If she has a problem with it let her know that that's not something you want to be subjected to because you don't want the same rep. If things don't work out maybe she isn't a good friend in the first place.. but she really doesn't need to be doing this.
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