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guys answer please
okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for a couple years and we both decided we were ready for sex. we tried but the problem was he couldnt really get it up. he's 17 he should be able to... when finally did get it up it was last a few minutes then it would be gone again, he never came.
i don't really know what to think. I am not trying to sound conceited but im not really unattractive, i have a nice body because i work out alot and a cute face and we're really in love so i dont really understand how he is having so much trouble getting turned on...
i've done everything i can think of, i've given him head and he said it felt good but the feeling just kind of went away before he came. i've asked him to tell me what feels good and he said i was already doing it right but obviously it isnt working! i wore sexier underwear and done little things that generally turn guys on like kissing his body, touching him, teased him or just kind of went for it, set the mood - nothing works
so, question #1
is my boyfriend just not attracted to me? what can i do to turn him on? i ask him and he says im doing everything right but i cant be....
question #2
guys, what REALLY turns you on?
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I don't usually answer these but it isn't you.
I don't think you can here that enough. If he
weren't attracted to you he would be long gone
and you have been together a couple of years.
We aren't allowed to give sex tips but I don't
really think you need any. He says that isn't the problem.
First of all, where are you doing this?
You need to be somewhere private and not
somewhere that a parent, sibling or friend
could walk in any minute and catch you.
Fear is a major cause of that performance
anxiety mentioned before me.
If you were both virgins and you have waited
2 years, he may be afraid he will do something
wrong, He may be afraid he will hurt you the
first time. I'm sure he wants your first time
to be spectacular but hes probably heard it
can be painful the girls first time. Talk.
Realize the first few times may not be earth
shattering & let him know that you understand that.
You are both learning & you need no tips.
Enjoy the learning together. :)
If all that fails it could be a medical problem.
It is rare in younger men but is a possibility.
Is he diabetic for instance? It may be something
he needs to have checked.
Good luck. Just both of you relax. It will
happen. I'm sure this failure is stressful
to him also. That doesn't help things. Don't
rush it.
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Oi.
Both decided we're ready for sex tells me hes probably a virgin.
Even if he isnt, its probably performance anxiety. He might be somewhat undersensitive. Contrary to popular belief not all guys can orgasm from oral.
His head is in the way of his penis. Spend more time around him naked. Hang out naked. Get him used to it, get him relaxed, its going to take time to work his nerves down.
I know its not specifically what you asked, but I doubt very seriously that the problem is that he's not turned on.
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Theres a possibility that he isnt attracted to you, but I doubt it. There is a likely cause hes stressed about something. Or has his mind on other things. There are several possible answers and some I dont really want to get in to... But overall, get him relaxed before you guys start... you know... doing it. Give him a massage, tell him to calm down, clear his head of all things, and massage his head, back, shoulders, whatever. Whisper in his ear about a tranquil or happy place. The funny thing is, Im actually telling you, you should not try to turn him on, but try to do the opposite(sorta). If you get his head cleared, your more likely to turn him on afterwards. Because its probably true, you are doing everything right, its just sub-consciously, his mind is off.
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I would say, although I am not a guy, that his problem could be that he has a lot of built up pressure and stress after a couple of years of not having sex. When you decided that you were going to go ahead with a sexual relationship, he may have been nervous of not fullfilling you and got stage fright. It happens. My suggestion would be to just let everything happen natural and it will be better than the pressure of having to live up to anyone's expectations. As to the other post in what guys get turn on by, hot sexy naked girls, yep that pretty much sums it up, oh, and the wind can do it too ;)!!
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maybe hes gay?
ok seriously though. it could be a few things. firstly, it is possible he has some kind of problem. secondly, you say youve been dating a couple years, if you havent done anything sexual in that time, then its possible that subconciously it decided that nothing will happen, and just stopped going up.
the most likely explanation? hes just nervous, instead of focusing on turning him on, keep him calm and comfortable.
what turns guys on? hot naked girls.
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