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Just friends, but how can I tell him?
So, I dated a boy for over a year. He was really great, but I just had to leave, I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore.
It's been two months, and he just messaged me, a very long message, saying if I'd like to go out on a date ,it was long and very sweet but he also sounded really sad.
The thing is i don't want a relationship with him again, and I have another boyfriend.
I just don't want to hurt him, can i tell him we can have dinner as friends? I don't want to get his hopes us. I feel very awkward saying we can't get back together.
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I agree I think you two should just go out as friends and if (later on ) you two agree to go out as more than friends than just take it slow but until then just stay friends
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I fully agree with HectorJr- going on a dinner date with him AND other friends will be a lot less apt to give him the wrong impression.
You have to be straightforward with him. Tell him you have a boyfriend, and you only want to see him as a friend.
Better to hurt his feelings with the truth than to give him the idea it is something it's not.
If you can't deal with the whole dinner thing at all, then respectfully decline.
ygs-29/f
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Can you try to suggest having dinner with other friends as well? Chances are it will feel a lot less like a 'real date' if you invite a few more people that you are both friends with, or even some of your own. It doesn't have to be your boyfriend there, but if you feel comfortable with bringing him you can do that. As for going on a date, if you choose to do that specify that it would be just going to dinner. Does he know you have a boyfriend? Even though you don't want to hurt him by drawing the line, it would be a lot heavier on him leading him on and having him wait on you only to be crushed weeks or months later. You're right in saying that you shouldn't get his hopes up. If that means talking before or after the dinner (because maybe during might not be the best time) then sit him down and just ask him if he is on the same page with you with everything - that you are just friends and that it is best things remain that way. It wouldn't be fair to your boyfriend if you just lead him on so you don't hurt your friend's feelings either. Draw the line and have a talk with him to so you're both on the same page; you aren't doing anything wrong by doing so. Hope that helped and good luck.
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Do what you have to do. Life gives us tough choices. He obviously was very much in love with you, so you have to let him down lightly. Message him back, saying that you and him didn't work out, and that you are currently in another relationship, and that you can't be with him anymore, and also why it didn't work. Then offer to go with him as friends, but write that he can respond with a yes, or if he doesn't respond as a no. Even if you feel awkward and bad, you just have to get it over with. Try to slowly repair as friends (while never mentioning your past relationship) if he can accept dinner as friends, or just let him move on if he can't accept it. People like this are the clingy ones that blackmail suicide if they can't be with you. If this ever happens, I would see a therapist or counselor and sort it out.
Have a nice day.
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i think you should tell him that you would like to have dinner as FRIENDS. Make sure you make it very clear to him that you only want to be friends so he doesn't get his hopes up. Let him know that you have anoter boyfriend so again he knows that dinner would be strictly friendly. Say to him that if he doesn't want dinner as friends then you understand. But he has to understand you dont want another relationship with him :) Good Luck x x
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