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Trust issues
Not sure if this is the right category but my questions is, DO i have trust issues?
Everytime i am in a relationship i always think the guy is trying to get in my pants. I always think he is just saying he loves me because all he wants from me is to get in my pants. i always think he says he loves me becasue of things we do (not sex). Everytimg he says how much he want to be with me and hug me and stuff, i always think he is trying to get in my pants and just saying that stuff to suck up to me and butter me up. I always think he is lying to me.
So what do i do, i try not to belive it but he has had like 30 GF's and has had sex soooo many times. I am so confused. How do i get over this?
what do i do? how do i trust, if i have issues?
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Haha... he IS trying to get into your pants sweetheart. There are two reasons people date. Sex and companionship.
That being said, it doesnt mean thats his only goal, his primary goal, or anything of that nature.
Fight it. When you feel yourself asking these questions, tell yourself you're being silly, that he cares about you, and wouldnt be wasting all this time just for sex. I dont know what else to tell you. You have to talk yourself out of it.
And mention the concerns to him. Explain to him that you dont think that hes actually just after sex, but that you just have these worries because you know he wants it and you want reassurance that he loves you outside of the quest for sex, and that he cares about you. Approach it from a "Im sorry, I just have this mental issue and I need to hear you to tell me I'm being ridiculous" standpoint.
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Well, the truth is, most guys DO want to get in your pants. That's just the way guys are. The thing you have to figure out is... is that ALL the guy wants, or does he actually like you as a person? And is he willing to stick with you even if you aren't putting out as much as he wants?
Unless a guy gives you reason to think otherwise, then maybe you SHOULD be a little more trusting. Just because a guy says nice things to you doesn't mean his ONLY reason for saying it is to get some. He might actually mean what he's saying. It IS possible for a guy to like you for your personality, sense of humor, companionship, etc. But if he's attracted to you physically as well, then yeah... he's also gonna want to get in your pants. If he's not actively trying to, he's at least thinking he'd like to. And that's something you CAN trust!
You'll just have to decide by his other actions if that's the only thing he wants.
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Do you have a trust issue here OR do you have a boyfriend issue here?
Do you ALWAYS suspect a guy of being after only one thing OR do you suspect THIS GUY of being after only one thing because of his history with girls.
Listen to your gut when it comes to each guy you meet. If something inside you says that you can't trust this guy or even that you two just don't want the same thing from the relationship, that is an okay reason to break it off. If your gut tells you that you are being irrational and this is a good guy for you, talk it out with your boyfriend. Having him know where you are coming from will help him lay off the behavoir you find iffy and talking to him will help you know you really do have a good guy.
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Just tell him you're not ready and if he's not just trying to get in your pants he'll understand. The only thing that will make you trust him more is time, so give the relationship time and grow closer as friends and lovers. (Wow that sounded really cliche haha)
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