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Girlfriend.
OK. this is kinda long, BUT I NEED HELP!!! I've had this gf for about two months now and we've had sex and all, but shes kinda 'picky' i guess you could say.
Like:
She dont like me too look at her
She dont want it from behind (just front)
She dont like me to take off her clothes
She dont want me fingering her/eating her out
She dont like being on top.
plus some more....
but im an extrememly slow typer, and this isnt working out for me. lol.
but yeah
i guess my question is,
why is she like that? and how do you get her to like new things? She says she doesnt like to feel uncomfortable, but i wanna know how to tell her to more things with me. I was a virgin until i went out with her, and i wanna try new things.
I dont wanna sound like a jerk, but she was raped not too long ago at a party, and i was wondering...could that be why?
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She may just still be a little insecure. The terrible thing that happened to her also may have something to do with it. She doesn't want you to take off her clothes or try new things because it brings back the memory she has of being taken control of. Make her feel beautiful and let her know how much you care about her.
-16/f
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I definatly think the rape is adding to the problem. She sounds to me like she isnt confortable. If she wants to move slower with the relationship support her and do things she may like, like cuddling or kissing her. If she just doesnt want to do certain things just give her time, when she comes out and becomes more confortable with you things will change. She needs to know that you are having sex with her because your really care about her not because you just want to. the @$$hole who raped her did it out of selfishness and needs to know that sex is not just for the guy, do things that she will enjoy like kissing her while having sex and holding her and caressing her. Also if she ever says i don't what to do this, don't be afraid to ask why and try to understand her point of view, also don't be afraid to try new things that may help her situation. For example having sex doggie style feels good and its from behind so you dont need to look at her.
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being raped probably had a huge affect on her , and yes that could be the reason why. you need to understand this must have been very traumatic for her and you have to be patient and work with her. hopefully if you treat her right, make her feel beautiful..hopefully she will loosen up a bit and overcome some of the issues shes having. for now you have to be understanding and supportive of her
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Being raped could have a lot to do with it. However, it might not be the only reason. She's just not comfortable with certain things. You need to accept that. You could try talking to her about it, but don't force it. You've only been going out for two months. You're lucky you're getting any at all.
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Well you need to accept it. You should be understanding and you seem like you should wait for all that anyways, your vocabulary isn't up to what should be a older adult,But back to subject. Look, she has been raped and you need to comfort her and not try to make her do something she doesn't want to do. When she's ready she will move forward, but in the meantime, be happy with what you got.
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Well because she was raped she might be having flashbacks or is just scared to move on. You can try to make her feel as comfortable as possible and take things slowly and maybe she'll move on with you. Hopes things work out. Take Care!
~Diamond
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