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Boyfriend & Sex
I'm 16/f
I've only ever had two boyfriends, one for almost 5 months, and the one I'm dating now for 1.
Well, we've only been dating for one, but we've been best friends for a year. And we both knew we liked each other while we weren't dating.
Well I've never dated a virgin, including my boyfriend now, and he always teases me about how he's ready for some with me.
And I mean, I don't know if I have a problem with it. I mean, I love him, I've known him for a year.
I am afraid though, of what could happen. You know? I have a lot going for me and don't want to get pregnant. I've also only been to second base before, so the nether regions are a new thing.
I know we should work up to that, and I was fully intending to.
I guess, how do I show my affection in a way to show him that I'm willing to have sex, just not right this second? I think we should work our way there.
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Well, if you guys are close, and he's your best friend, I'm sure he'll understand your fear and not rush you into things. I have been dating my gf for a little while now, and I wasn't a virgin when I met her. She still is, but we tried to have sex before, but she was too scared. I love her, so I understood, and to this day, I haven't tried to convince her to grin and bear it. I am willing to wait until she is ready. I tease her sometimes, but only enough so she knows it's a joke, but if she ever gets hurt by the joking, I look at her and tell her I love her, and I'll wait forever for her. But I don't think you'll ever find someone who is going to have sex for the first time, who isn't scared.
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Honestly. Talk to him about it.
One of the most common things about young couples is that they cant talk about sex very easily. Hell, I'm in my 20s and we have trouble with it until after its already happened half the time.
Bring it up sometime. Hell, be playful with it. I had a girlfriend who was a virgin at the time sit me down on her bed and smile, kiss me, and say "Youre going to get laid"
I grinned and was like "what, now?"
She grinned back and said "probably in a few months" and laughed as my face fell.
Once that ice is broken, tell him how you feel. Tell him that you want to be more intimate with him, but you havent done much and it makes you nervous. Tell him that you want to explore things with him, and you want him to be patient with you, because sometimes you might want him to push your boundaries and do things you arent comfy with, and if you need to you need to be able to ask him to stop.
Oh, and a special note. When you're doing things that are new and make you nervous, if you ask a guy to stop his instant reaction is usually going to be to stop touching you entirely. Often this creates some level of tension and awkwardness. You both need to take it in stride, so instead of pushing him away if he does something and you need him to stop, just take his hands and move them to safer territory, let him know you still want him close.
It makes things alot easier when your girl will explore with you and still want to be in contact with you, even if something happens. Dulls down the awkwardness. Talk to him after you do things. Let him know what you liked, what you didnt, what youd like to get used to.
Communication is key.
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If you are afraid of what might happen or could go wrong than don't do it. You aren't ready yet and I think you have grasped that. What do you tell him? Tell him that you really do love him but you just aren't ready for sex yet.
Like your last line reads tell him "I'm willing to have sex someday but not now. I think we should work our way there. "If he's a decent person and loves you he will understand your stance.
You can even tell him that neither of you are ready to be parents or for the consequences that could come from sex. Also, even you've known him for a year you're only 1 month in to the relationship. I would wait for that reason too.
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Well, you need to TELL him how you feel. I mean, you don't want to make moves that you feel are showing this and have him feel like you are teasing him or something.
He is your best friend, so he will understand where you are coming from if you just say to him "Look, man, I want to, but I can't right now." Explain to him why you can't.
ygs-29/f
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