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need some good advice for a very hard and touchy issue
I have known someone for 11 years, i considdered them my best friend, upon meeting meeting someone that i really wanted to get to know and start a relationship with i decided to tell my friend about this, my friend freaked out and threatened to kill themself, they say that they have known me for 11 years and i should spend more time with them they also want to know where i am at all times, who i am talking to, and they try and keep me isolated from my family and other friends, they have "coerced" me into doing sexual things with them and have lied and minipulated my emotions to get what they want, i know that this is abuse and i know that i need to stop it, i just dont know how without my best friend killing themself, I also feel as if i deserve what i am in now because of something i did when i was younger IE "abused someone" i really need some help understanding why i feel as if i deserve pain and abuse, and also how do i get my friend the professional help they need?
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thank you all for your help, i have taken steps to preventing them from hurting me more, i talked with a therapist about this and i om going to keep going to her. thank you all sooooooo much *hugs and smiles*
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Your friend has been abusing you in numerous ways, and that has to be stopped. Problems like this are only bound to get worse and even when it may feel like it'll all end and everything'll be fine, your friend's already proven that he's prone to it.
Really, the best thing is to inform someone, either a family member, someone at school, anyone who can help. Tell them that you're being cornered by a threat of suicide, that you've been stalked and munipulated.
Although it'll be hard, it is truly the best thing you can do. My best friend had to tell her mom, and it was good she had because if her ex hadn't been threatened with a restraining order, he'd probably still be tracking her down.
Best of luck.
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Nobody deserves abuse. So get that right out of your head. Anyone who abuses you, in whatever way, is not your friend.
If you EVER want to lead a life that doesn't include having this person in your business 24/7, you need to tell him/her to get lost. I know it sounds mean but you have to do it.
I doubt he /she will kill themselves over this. That is most likely said to keep you right where they want you to be. Afraid enough to keep them around. However, to make yourself feel better, tell someone who is close to him/her what is being said and pass the worry onto someone else.
YOU are not responsible for anything this person may do now or in the future. Do not worry about getting your friend professional help. That is not your concern. It is something he/she has to do for him/her self. You can suggest it, but you can't
make them go for help.
If after you tell this person to leave you alone
they continue to call you or follow you around, PLEASE contact police. Do not let it pass or put up with it because you consider them a friend.
Their behavior makes them potentially dangerous.
Not meaning to scare you, but honestly, be careful.
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