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friends or no
ok so there is this girl and we have been friends for like a year and half. We are so close that i invited her on vacation with me(big mistake).. any way the whole time she was there i felt like she is using me. she "barrowed" all this money and never paid back. Then in the fall we both joined this field hockey team and she started to get annoying from there. She would make plans with these other girls and then send me pictures of all them. I feel like i am bieng left out. she always seems to be doing something yet can never involve me. Then when i would ask her to do something she would say ok and then cancel.. and the first time i believed her.. but now this happens all the time.. What should i do ?
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Sounds like you have the perfect case of "bad weather friendship". She will likely continue to count on you if something is going wrong or bad in her life. If she is bored. If someone hurts her. She will probably NOT, however, call you to go out with other friends, to the movies, etc. These types of friends are better just left to go off on their own. It is best to just quietly let your friendship die. Continue to be nice/friendly to her at school or in public but on the off chance that she wants to hang out with you because she is bored, politely refuse. Always being polite makes you the better person. I read one of your other answers that suggests you should question why she sends you pictures of other friends or outtings. This is not a good idea. Just erase them without looking at them and make no comment to her about receiving them. Eventually the two of you will drift apart.
This sounds drastic, I know but I have a "friend" exactly like this. We met in 8th grade. We hung out ALL the time and were friends even out of high school and into college. I have now been married for nearly 10 years and never hear from her unless her most current boyfriend breaks up with her or she gets into an arguement with her mom or something. I have invited her to come to my house for Christmas parties, etc. and she has agreed, unless one of her more "exciting" friends has plans and then she cancels. We were extremely close for more than 10 years but she clearly has no interest in me, unless she has nothing better to do.
You should value yourself more and find friends who desire to be with you. Who look forward to your company and can't wait for you to come over or go out, etc. That is what friendship is all about.
If she owes you money that you really need back, pursue it. Tell her, for example, on the first of the month that you need the money by the end of the month. Set an exact date. Then on that date approach her. "Remember that $50 I lent you over the summer for vacation? We I really need that back now. I will meet you by your locker after school on November 19th to collect it." That kind of thing. Otherwise, if it is something you can forget about... do.
Should all of this be a huge misunderstanding on her part; she didn't realize she was leaving you out, etc. Give her a second chance. This is always best as you would want a second chance if it was you we were discussing. She may actually not realize what she is doing. But she will never know if you don't have a talk with her. Talk with her about how you are feeling but if she does turn out to be an "as needed" friend, I would go with what I said previously.
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She is trying to be friends with you, but is acting like you aren't good enough to hang out with her or anything. It could be on purpose, but it could also be something that she just does without trying to do it at all. Talk to her about how you feel, and give specific examples of her rude behavior so she can see how she is hurting you. Arrange a thing that you can both do together, like a movie or shopping. But only if she is worth it. If you'd rather just cut your losses, go for it, but you can do my first suggestions, you can see what misconceptions can hide of a person's true colors.
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4 words for ya...
SHES NOT YOUR FRIEND
she is using you. for the first part.. she was using you to go on vacation, to borrow money and just be away from home.
Then the second part, she is trying to make you jealous by sending pictures of her.
Whats the one thing that she WANTS. she wants you to be jealous and to feel bad. Do you want to give her that power??? NO. you don't. The only way you can win this battle, is to not give her what she wants. And she wants power.
If she sends you pictures of her and her friends... don't send pictures of you and your friends... because that is just causing a huge fight and it just gets so messy. Send her a message back and be like "what is this?" Then when she says "its me and my friends" be like... "why are you sending this to me?" and wait for her response. If she says something like "i want to show you how much fun we are having" or something like that... be like "I don't need to know how much fun you're having... I can already tell that you don't have fun"
Do you seriously want to be friends with her?? i wouldn't. Just dump her and forget about her. Stop talking to her and if she is still trying to make you feel bad. Talk to her and be like "I think it's time we moved on with other friends."
Don't be all mean and everything, but show her that you are a strong person and nothing can push you down and make your self-esteem go low.
I hope I helped!
-volleyball2150
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Well you do know one day those friends are probably going to get tired of her and then she is going to come crying to you and you know what you have to do.If she was a true friend she wouldnt do all the stuff but apparently she is not a true friend to you so you know what do even bother with her.
Tell me how it goes
Good,Luck
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