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step mother
when i was around 5 my mother died from cancer. Now i have a step mother and 2 step sisters. My step mother is every loving, but doesnt like help me with girl stuff. I always have to learn things on my own. And for like clothes, what matches? i cant ask my dad anything like that because hes a guy and doesnt really know. Like for my school pictures, i was wearing a pink and grey top and my dad picked a purple background, she didnt really help me she just helped my 2 step sisters. (I know i can ask her, but shouldnt she realize that i need help with it?) And i ended up crying for a while, cuz like i felt like i was alone and didnt have anyone to help. the next morning i ended up asking her to chance it cuz pink and purple dont go. I mean dont get me wrong, she great, but i just want a little more from her. SOO my question is what should i do? Should i tell my dad or aunt or something? Should i confront her? please help.
(sorry if its long)
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ok, what's wrong is that you like her, but you're still a little uncomfortable around her. In any case, you have to ask her for help. She's not coming to you because, well, you know about all those stories of the "evil" stepmother? She doesn't want to be placed in that category. She doesn't want you to feel like she's replacing your mom. You need to go and ask her help a couple of times before she realizes that you DO want her help. And if she's not around, don't be afraid to ask your dad. Believe it or not, he knows somethings about girl stuff like fashion, etc. I know my dad does. Hope I helped. :)
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Look, your stepmother is not a mind reader. So no, she *shouldn't* know. It would be nice if she guessed, but there is no reason for her too.
More then her not helping you, your stepmother is probably trying to respect your special relationship with your father, and doesn't know exactly how you and he would like her to behave with you.
If you want more from her, talk to her! You don't need to *confront* her. This doesn't need to be battle or a fight. You said she is loving right? So she will probably be loving and understanding about this...
So tell her how you are feeling. Tell her you aren't feeling supported and would like more 'girl' help from her. She will probably be flattered and want to make you happy. Although you might also need to have a talk with your step mom and dad as well, so that he knows that you'd like her in your life more too but doesn't feel like he is loosing his special place.
Just be honest with them. They can't read your mind, and they might think you want things very differently then what you actually want. Remember they have feelings too. Getting everyone talking will probably make you feel a lot better, and the problems will start being solved.
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You should certainly explain to your stepmother how you feel. Do it in a way that is not accusing her of not being there but rather tell her you know how lucky you are to have such a great stepmother. The problem here may be that being a stepmother... she may not be completely clear on what her boundaries are! She may love you like a daughter but not be comfortable behaving as such. She may be afraid of having you resent her for "trying to take your mother's place".
Its never a bad thing to initiate the questions either. "Does this pink shirt look good with this purple background?" It may actually not occur to her to say anything, especially if she could possibly think that you and your dad have already agreed on it! (Just an example)
This is definitely a situation where being open and honest with her could easily turn a stressed situation into a great mother/daughter relationship and have everyone involved happier.
I didn't have a mom either. My grandma became my mom when I was 10. I feel for your situation here and really hope you are able to develope a closer relationship with your stepmother. Best of luck!
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its definetly your right to confront her about how you feel.Its great that shes mad nice to you most step mothers are totall asses to their step kids.Tell her how you feel start off by saying...can i ask you about something alittle personal?YOur a great person and youve always been there for me BUT....then start.I dont think you should start off by telling your dad cuz hell tell her and she might think that your complaining after all shes done for you so you should start with her and if she dont change THEN tell your dad.good luck,if you need anything just drop me a question in my inbox^_^
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