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Cell phone//parents
Hi. Okay, well. For Christmas, my sister, brother & I all got cell phones for Christmas-and we have the basic plan along with 250 texts each [pr. month]---that costs $5.
I've been begging my mom to get unimited texting, which is $5 more than what we have. I've even offered to pay for it!
But anyways, here's the bad part.
Plain and simple, I went over last month ($10 worth) as did my brother- and she didn't make us pay for it.
Then I did it again this month-about $50 worth--as did me, my sister and my brother. It obviously wasn't done intentional, but she tells me that I should have learned from it the first time. And then she goes on to say that "there's no reason to haev unlimited texting"...
Obviously there is, if I just went over.
But anyways, she
a) took away my phone for a month
b) is making me pay for it
c) i can't go out for a whole week, (with Halloween being an exception...but I have to go with my little cousins.)
I basically wrote a whole gigantic e-mail and I told her that it was unfair that if I was paying for it and my phone (my LIFELINE) was taking away for a month, that's basically enough for a punishment. I really want to go to a party tomorrow, it's a sleepover party. The boy that I like is going to be there, and I rarely see him because he lives in another town. I really want to go because of that and a TON of my other friends are going. Additionally, I already told my friend that I was going to her party last night. Ive been looking forward to this all week.
I told her that I didn't need to sleep over, to try and bargain with her....
So what do you think I should do?
thank you for taking the time to read this.
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Take a deep breath and accept these few facts:
The cell phone was a gift. Her paying for the plan that she choose to pay for was a GIFT. She does not owe you unlimited texting.
She is the parent. She doesn't have to be fair.
This isn't about fair. She doesn't have to be 'fair' she has to be your parent and try to take care of you and teach you responsibility the best way she knows how so telling it it's not fair will get you NOWHERE.
Try instead, to make this about reason and rationality:
Rationally, this make sense:
If you have a cell phone plan, you obey plan and do not go over it and end up paying higher fees. You and your brother were very irresponsible if you knew what the limits were, and you choose to go waaaay beyond them.
If you find yourself paying high fees, you either need to stop going beyond your limits, or change your plan.
What you mother is telling you, is that she is not willing to change your plans. She is probably trying teach you about responsibility and limits.
You had a chance, and you didn't learn. She is understandably very angry at you refusal to learn the lesson she feels is important.
So what should you do? You should calm down first and remind yourself that you did in fact make a mistake. Then you need to ASK your mother WHY she is not willing to sign up for unlimited and WHY she feels this is an appropriate punishment.
You need to listen calmly and with an open mind. She might feel you shouldn't be texting that much, in that case, you are outta luck until you can sign your own contract and purchase your own phone and you'll need to lay off your texts in the future.
Your best argument for going to the party is acknowledging that you made a big mistake but that you are being punished and the phone has been taken away and you will willingly pay for it (frankly, that those are FAIR consequences for the choice you made).
Then tell her calmly that the party is really important too you and you don’t want to back out.
If you can stay calm, admit your mistake, and make this discussion about the PARTY not about texting arguments, you might be able to convince her.
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You need to take into consideration what your mom is going through right now. She's paying bills, more than likely working to support you & your siblings, & to support herself. She sets rules for a reason.
I realize the rules she has set about unlimited texting is unfair, BUT it is a rule & it goes as she says, so don't argue. If you argue with her, she'll never come to terms with you & you will be fighting with no one but yourself.
Talk to her nice & calm about it, and see if it changes. I think her punishment is actually pretty fair. Why should your mother have to pay for something you did? You knew you shouldn't have gone over, but you did it anyways & it wasn't just something small like $10, it was $50 and that's a lot of money for your mother to bail you out of. She shouldn't have to do that. I realize it was accidental, but your mother can't always dig you out & pay rediculous cell phone bills. She's not covering just you - she's covering you, your brother, your sister & her's as well which could add up to a pretty pricey bill considering you guys are teenagers & teenagers would die without a cellphone.
Honestly though, talk to her nicely & see if she'll let you go. If not, you've gotta deal with it. Punishment is punishment & you can't just get special treatment because some guy you like is gonna be at your friend's party. If she lets you go, then she has to let your brother & sister go out as well and that completely goes against what she's done.
Who does that?
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If your mom doesn't want you to have unlimited texting, deal. I agree it's unfair, but she's only going to get angrier if you try to contradict her. Tell her that you're sorry that you went over again, and that you'll never do it again. Soften her up, and then give a good reason why she should let you go to the party. Just stay the golden girl in your mom's eyes, as hard as it is when you want to be a rebel, but you'll get to do almost whatever you want. Good luck!
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