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relationship.
People keep judging me because I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. And since it is high school, everyone always questions or assumes that we had sex. So, how was it for you when you first told people or it got out? Did your friends or people treat you differently?
We did have sex. And we still do, some people found out because the boyfriend thought it was okay to imply it.. and give them ideas. So now I've got an old friend [that i dont talk to or see anymore] who is always "Don't have sex with her, or I'll cut your dick off" or "Wear a condom!" towards my boyfriend at his school and it's really annoying. I didn't tell her anything, it's just she always acts superior because when she was 14.. she did it.. all, you know? I'm almost 17 and I haven't done drugs.. she keeps treating me like a child when she's a year younger than me and she implies that i'm not responsible. What do I say to her without coming off as rude? She makes it seem it's okay for herself to sleep around but when it comes to me, only having sex with one guy.. it's HORRIBLE!
also, another bit about sex.. i kind of want to stop having sex for a while.. but i'm not sure how to tell my boyfriend that. I'm sure he will get a bit hurt about it.. and I'll like some ideas of what else we could do.. nonsexual ..? we are going to bake something, but not any time soon. i'm not sure what else we could do for now.. watching movies is getting old and we are broke.
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Ok so people started finding out that Im not a virgin by the guys friends (which are older)
and I just told very selected people. But his friends had started saying shit and he got mad at me and ect.
So people will maybe call you a slut but probably not depending how old and how long you have been dating. And for your friend she is trying to care for you but you should tell her that you know what you are doing and that you appreciate her but that you are responsible. And for not having sex he wont like that idea but it is always but to the girl so remember that.
Best of Luck
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Ignore her. She is an immature child who thinks that imitating adult behavior makes her an adult. Having had more sex than you doesnt make her any more grown up than having had sex makes you in general. And the way she goes about things (from your description) tells me that shes pretty much using you to feel better about herself.
Its funny that way, but you might notice it. Kids who do things that others might not consider to be a great idea (like being slutty or doing lots of drugs at 16) will often tell others "you arent mature" or "you just dont know what its like" or something else of that nature.
What they are doing, is convincing themselves that everyone wants to do it. The concept of something being "cool" is probably the worst thing to ever happen to kids. Because people can easily make any behavior "cool" and then stupid children do it without actually knowing why they are.
I mean, look at this website. I have seen 13 year old girls asking for advice on how to handle a threesome.
Speaking as an adult, there is an entire social dynamic behind things like this. There are emotions that adults deal with and enjoy that are simply not present in children. The adult desire is balanced (or should be) against adult responsibility, the ability to maintain your own life, and the ability to handle the consequences of your decisions independently or in some cases as a couple.
Kids are just doing it because theyve seen it or heard about it, and someone made it "cool" along the way.
But thats society. Sorry, I went off on a rant. The point is, your friend is a brat. She doesnt know what shes talking about. Tell her that you are more than old enough to make your own decisions without her input. And that references to your "inexperience" are not welcome or needed.
As to the stopping having sex. Hmm this is going to take some explanation too.
If you want to stop having sex that is fine. There are no real negatives and if you honestly think thats the best idea, then do it. No question there.
At the same time, look at your situation. I had a friend who had sex and then stopped. She stopped because she didnt like the way people seemed to look at her differently when they found out she was not a virgin. She was "one of them". She stopped because she didnt like it. The decision to stop having sex wasnt really a mature decision. Why? Because she stopped because of how others were making her feel.
The point of this, is that your decisions regarding sex are private, and are not something that you should make based on what other people (most especially other high school kids who have absolutely no genuine concept of reality) think.
Ill clarify again at this point, if you think you should stop, do. Just because the decision isnt the most mature decision in the world does not make it wrong in this case.
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yeah your friend needs to chill. if i was you, id tell her that its your life, you can make your own decisions, and she needs to just take her own advice. i hate when people butt in like that. if you dont think your doing anything wrong, (which i dont - your old enough and have a steady relationship) then dont worry about it. everyone else can think what they wanna think..and eventually they will grow up and not think its such a bad thing. oh, and about telling your bf that you wanna cut back a little.. just be like "hey lets chill for a lil while, i just need a break from sex." then promise him when you guys do it again that itll be fun! haha
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well, it really isn't nice of her to say stuff like that to you and treat you like a little child when it sounds like she's worse off than you.. well, I mean when you said when she was 14 and she did it..all... it sounds like she needs to take her own advice.. I know that sometimes you can only take so much from a person, so I'd just kinda tell her how you feel, and that you think it's annoying that she keeps telling you stuff like that. Just kinda talk to him, and bring up the subject on sex, and just kinda lightly let him know that you don't wanna do it for awhile.. if he really likes you, then he'll respect what you tell him.. I mean, at this age I seriously think it's way to young, and that you should save yourself for marriage, so there shouldn't be any reason he'd be mad.. but considering the fact that you have already done it, i'm just trying to give you advice from there lol.. ya could just hang out a lot more, not necessarily spending money such as buying movies....i know it's not much, but I hope it helped some-what =) Skyla
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