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How can he leave us like this?
My dad`s been saying since he decided he was going to divorce my mom as soon as I graduated that we are poor. First of all, we live in one of the most expensive neighborhood to live in out of the whole county so that`s not true. Plus, my dad`s job has an extremely high payment. Half of the time, he`s yelling about money or cussing at us or telling us how stupid we are. The other half of the time, he`s not even home or is off with something with his work somewhere. He won`t EVER buy me ANYTHING rather I really need it or not. Anytime I want something, I have to take money out of MY savings account to get it. I was thinking earlier and I finally understand why he`s freaking out about how we supposedly have no money. In one year, the place where my dad works is moving to Indiana or Louisiana or something. Apparently, he thinks it`s an easy way for him & my mom to separate? Anyways, knowing how selfish he is, he`s not going to even bother looking for a closer job & he has his mind set on leaving us to go live in Indiana. Well, obviously he would need a house, so he`s been putting thousands away each month that my family needs for things & cutting us short on everything, which is extremely unfair to all of us. He won`t admit it, but I know that`s he`s putting all of that money away so that he can afford a house when he leaves. I don`t understand it though. He told us all a few months ago that he`s leaving us & we`ll have to sell the house & while he`s off in Indiana somewhere, we`ll have to live in a tent here. But, how can someone do that? I mean, how can he lie about it & how can he just treat us like this? My mom has no job because she`s been devoted to us all these years, so I don`t know what`s going to happen. Is there some legal thing that says he HAS to send us money or something to take care of us when he leaves?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I am a divorce counselor at church and I am becoming increasingly irritated with (primarily) men who just walk out on their families without looking back.
More than likely, your parents did not sign a prenuptual agreement. A prenuptual basically says that what was his when they got married stays his and what was hers stays hers. This is a fairly rare thing. If there is no prenup. then your dad, being the provider will be required to provide your mom with alimony and child support. This is NOT to say you will continue to have the standard of life you may used to... but it can really help! Kudos (great job!) to your mom who decided to be a mom to you kids. That is a decision that every mom should be proud to make.
If your mom decides she needs to get a job or that you may need to downsize your house or any other number of things to survive... it is important for you to support her. I realize you are a kid and it is not your responsibility to take care of issues surrounding the divorce. I only mean that if you see your mom getting emotional because she may have to give you a key to the house and she won't be home when you get home from school, reassure her. Let her know that whatever she decides to do for the family, you love her and respect her. That coming from a child can ge the greatest reward.
I wish you the best of luck with this. Divorce tears the family apart and no matter what ANYONE says... you will not just bounce back from this. You have every right to be angry, sad, hurt, or, believe it or not, happy and relieved! Whatever you feel is normal. Talk to mom about it. She has devoted her life to you and would love to have opportunities to bond with you. Strenghthen your bond with your mom and siblings. You are going to need each other over the coming months/years.
Best of luck... really!!!
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when i divorce happens you have to have equatable division of assets and that includes money so unless you mom signed a pre nuptual agreement you and your mom will recieve some money i hope i helped
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Hey, my name is Em231 and I think I can help
your dad seems realy stressed out thats why he might
be acting this way!There is something that is legal
when you have a divorce who ever has custody of you
it would probaly be your mom. Your dad has to pay
so 'n ' so a month so don't worry!Everything will go
ok God Bless you !!!!!!!!!
Em231
by the way if you just want one on one advice email
me at ethom@Wildblue.net
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Yes, im sure your dad wouldnt completley leave you penniless. he's frustrated. im not taking your dads side, im just trying to explain. but, yeah, he has to give your mom child support. child support varies. it depends on how many kids there are in the family. but in order to get child support, your mom has to apply for it. its very easy and they will take the money right out of his paycheck. let's say you have 2 other siblings. that would be three plus you, your mom would probably get 600 to 1000. but that pretty much depends on how much your dad makes, and obviously as you say, your dad makes pretty good money.. so dont worry about it hun, you'll be fine. but you should stand up for your family and talk to your dad about this. he has no right to treat you like that. obviously your not dumb. and he has to know that. i hope everything works out for you!
:]<3 casia
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Yes, of course there are laws, plenty of them, which say he must support his children (and wife!).
Your father can *try* to just leave you penniless, but the sooner your mom and the law steps in, the harder it will be for him to get away with it.
It's your mom’s job though, as your parent, to look into the laws and services and pursue them.
Talk to her about your fear and your confusion! Ask her what is going on. Ask her what she plans on doing. If she is overwhelmed or in denial, go to another adult, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle or family friend and talk to them.
Ask your father what his plans are as well. Don’t accuse him, just ask. He might tell you thinks aren’t so bad as you think, tell you where the money is actually going, or at least tell you straight up that he plans to leave you all to starve.
I’m sure he isn’t a total idiot, whatever else he is. He won’t get away with just abandoning you all and he must know it.
You shouldn't have to live with this sort of fear just because your parents are messed up. Demand some answers and some responsibility, from them both. Ask what is the plan is and what is going to happen.
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