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17/F/ Preg?


Question Posted Thursday October 18 2007, 2:19 am

Hi, I'm 17 and think I may be pregnant. I'm not sure yet so I am scheduling an appointment soon for the doctors. I was with my boyfriend for two years and September 2nd was the last time we had sex. I had my period September 11th and it was a regular flow-no 'spotting'. Now I'm not even sure if it was my period because I feel sick liked I've caught something, have gained a little weight-but that could be diet related, and my stomache feels chubby even when I flex it-its like jiggly and mushy feeling(so wierd).

Me and my ex are no longer together and live 300 miles away from eachother, and don't speak much but still love eachother deep down- yet I have no intention of being back with him. I'm scared I may be pregnant but am not sure and although I'm waiting to see a doctor I'm still freaking out! I should be graduating my last year of highschool this year early and moving on with my life... But does that include a child?

What I want to know is if that stomache jiggly/fat thing is a pregnancy symptom or if it is... Should I be seeing this now? I've only noticed it THIS last week.
& If I find out I AM pregnant do you have any suggestions on what I should do...(Keep it, abortion,adopt..ETC.)???

I don't care much if it's constructive criticism, as long as its a true opinion. All I'm asking for is your suggestion because I am still young, but yet could regret this for the rest of my life and have a guilty concious.

Please answer HONESTLY.
-Thanks-


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familyfirst answered Friday October 26 2007, 4:20 pm:
Your mushy/jiggly thing is not a baby. Your belly actually does not start to change size until around 12 weeks and even then, even though it is getting larger, it gets harder! Not mushy and jiggly. The reason is it is your uterus that is pushing up against your abdominal wall and your abdomen gradually gets tighter and tighter as it grows.

I definitely agree with your other answers that you need to take a test. They are over 99% accurate and only take 5 minutes!

As far as what you should do if you are pregnant... that is something you need to discuss with your parents. This can be hard... EXTREMELY hard because of what you are admitting to them. 1. You are not a virgin. 2. You were not as careful as you should have been. 3. Pregnancy is only one of many concerns. You could have an STD that have no symptoms.

I do not believe in abortion as a form of birth control. That is why we have pills and condoms and abstinence. But adoption would be a beautiful gift for a couple who cannot have a child.

Last but not least... use this scare as a lesson. This is an incredibly unpopular viewpoint but it is what I was taught and it is what I teach my own kids... Respect yourself enough to wait until you are ABSOLUTELY ready... meaning out of high school, out of college... engaged... possibly married before you have sex. The truth is sex was designed a LONG time ago for the soul purupose of reproduction and therefore... women get pregnant when they have sex. If you dont like the side affects you should avoid it.

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WittyUsernameHere answered Saturday October 20 2007, 4:31 am:
::Edit::

Thank god.

I broke up with my girlfriend on the first of october, we hadnt had sex in a while, she moved approx 265 miles away from me, and shes your age.

This post freaked me the hell out. But we're in Texas.

::/edit::

First things first, you get a test.

I always say, that if you think you might be pregnant, you should test it. Go from there based on results. If you are, you will test positive, its been a month and a half.

If you are pregnant, you should tell your boyfriend. Regardless of the ending of yours and his relationship. It is his child too, and above all you owe him that as the father. If you were to carry it to term he has rights to the child (including claiming the child if you choose to put him/her up for adoption).

If you choose to have an abortion, I believe you should still tell him. If nothing else, once again he is the father and he deserves a chance to make a case for the child's life.

Everything else is to be decided based on you, your family, the kid's father, etc talking.

P.S. Are you located somewhere in Texas? Your situation sounds remarkably similar to a friend of mine's situation. Similar enough that Im wondering if you live close to me.

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alisonmarie answered Thursday October 18 2007, 2:04 pm:
Your stomach would have not changed size or shape this early in pregnancy; in fact, the belly often feels very tight to the touch.

It's interesting that you say you had a normal period, and a few lines later wonder if it was a period at all. This would suggest that your fears about being pregnant may be playing tricks on your mind.

Things to think about that may shed more light on the situation: Did you use protection when you had sex? Did you last period come when it was due?

Going to the doctor is a great idea. When you go, make sure you bring the start date of your last period - even if you are unsure whether it was a real period or not.

I can understand your mind racing to conclusions and trying to figure out what you would do if you were pregnant, but in reality it might be best to find out if you actually ARE pregnant first. One worry at a time.

If you and your ex recently broke up, or if you have mixed feelings about the break up, you could be putting those worries into being anxious about pregnancy. I do think the mind and body are very linked.

The best advice I could give you for this evening is to relax - take a bath, meditate, draw - whatever helps you calm down. Schedule an appointment to see your doctor - don't forget to consider confidentiality if you do not want your parents to find out.

Please let me know if you need further information. I wish you the best.

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mekago5 answered Thursday October 18 2007, 10:34 am:
Well, the good news is that if you had your period more than a week after the last time you had sex you probably are not pregnant. The first and most trust-worthy sign of pregnancy is missing your period completely. Have you gotten it this month yet? If you have, then I wouldn't worry. If you have not yet gotten it and feel like you should have, then it may be time to get a pregnancy test or go see a doctor. Keep in mind that this is the time of year when lots of people get sick, so it could just be that. Also, if you were using birth control or a condom you're odds are better of not being pregnant.

As for giving my opinion on what to do if you are pregnant? Just take it one day at a time. Discuss your options with your doctor and then talk to some close people you trust... parents, friends, the ex. I don't think anyone can really tell you what to do. Having a child is a huge step and only you can decide if you are ready for that. Think about how you would feel in each circumstance. Would you be able to support a child? Do you have future plans that you can still carry out with a child? On the other hand, how would you feel having an abortion? Would you feel better giving it up for adoption or would that be too much for you to deal with?

Basically, there is no clear cut answer. You have to think about it and go with your gut... but before you worry about that, I would focus on where you are currently. Since you had your period I think you are fine but go get a test. It will take the burden off either way.

Also, I know this doesn't help you now, but you may want to consider getting on birth control in the future. It will make you feel much more secure and worry less. Planned Pregnancy offers it at little to no cost if that is a factor for you.

Good luck! I wish you all the best no matter what happens.

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